Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks... - FML

By Anonymous - 11/8/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41519

You deserved it

3822

Tweet

Share

Season finale

Headache

Business savvy

By brazo667 - 9/2/2015 23:07 - United States - Fort Stewart

Today, I have spent so much time watching Scooby Doo with my son that I actually used the word "zoinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks

29436

You deserved it

5760

Tweet

Share

By wow babe - 19/11/2012 17:46 - United States - Arnold

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38859

You deserved it

5561

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/5/2015 01:22 - Australia - Elwood

Today, I got stopped by people asking for donations for their charity services. Being who I am, I hate saying no to people, so I told them "I don't have any money, only my card." Did you know they also accept payment by card? FML

I agree, your life sucks

29015

You deserved it

7326

Tweet

Share

By ColdStones - 20/10/2014 08:50 - Norway - Bergen

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41213

You deserved it

3428

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/5/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, a little girl came up to me and said "Hi, my name is Lindsey, lets be friends!". I thought she was cute so I played along and said "Okay! My name is Jen!" Her Reply: "Wait, nevermind, I don't want to be friends anymore. You smell funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51443

You deserved it

13253

Tweet

Share

By shatMyself - 22/4/2013 19:10 - United States

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52346

You deserved it

3399

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 22/1/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hard core porn ads inside. I have been getting these since i ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother-in-law was getting the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8252

You deserved it

27976

Tweet

Share

By DevilsTemptation - 29/8/2019 02:01 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1559

You deserved it

114

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/7/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the 8th grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks

71307

You deserved it

17616

Tweet

Share

By happybudiess - 14/10/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21159

You deserved it

55183

Tweet

Share

By hoping to live to see next year - 29/7/2018 15:00

Thanks but no thanks.

Today, my son surprised me by waking me up to be first to greet me a happy birthday. He was with his marching band buddies in full battle gear, playing the chorus of Stars and Stripes Forever. In my bedroom. At 5am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3372

You deserved it

597

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 25/5/2011 14:33 - Singapore

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11303

You deserved it

36876

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/7/2011 05:38 - Canada

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41311

You deserved it

6063

Tweet

Share

By whatevershit - 13/5/2012 06:28 - United States - Theodore

Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23199

You deserved it

2980

Tweet

Share

By yup okay - 19/8/2010 15:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he finds his car more attractive than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34850

You deserved it

6850

Tweet

Share

By Biggie - 2/2/2011 14:44 - United States

Today, during a snowstorm, I opened my car door to get out. The wind snapped it wide open, then immediately changed course and swung it back at me just as I stepped out, spilling an entire hot cup of coffee all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29154

You deserved it

4341

Tweet

Share

By SwingingGallows - 15/7/2016 15:43

Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML

I agree, your life sucks

14557

You deserved it

1091

Tweet

Share

By hushnow - 7/2/2011 18:04 - United States

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer, who just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33742

You deserved it

3717

Tweet

Share

By Jac - 17/1/2010 19:59 - United States

Today, my friend decided to pants me in the middle of the mall. I wasn't wearing underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20657

You deserved it

32706

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/7/2009 11:29 - Netherlands

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64569

You deserved it

3803

Tweet

Share

By pinkfreak94 - 13/10/2012 13:38 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I kissed a boy for the first time in over a year. It was at drama club practice, and he quickly ended up asking the director if we could remove that scene from the play. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25662

You deserved it

2695

Tweet

Share

By busrides - 24/12/2009 09:35 - United States

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29566

You deserved it

5514

Tweet

Share

By merse - 18/2/2010 13:20 - United States

Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40880

You deserved it

3123

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/8/2019 16:00

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and someone had left their dirty tampon rolled up in toilet paper on the top of the paper dispenser. I felt obligated to dispose of it, so the next person didn't think I left it, because there was a line for the stalls. Fuck you, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1625

You deserved it

126

Tweet

Share

By floppy - 9/8/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, my house caught fire and almost burned down. My neighbour, who has always hated me, came up, patted me on the back, and said, "That sucks for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1622

You deserved it

106

Tweet

Share

By HM - 6/4/2011 17:28 - Germany

Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42654

You deserved it

3561

Tweet

Share

By snowwhite - 28/10/2013 04:51 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

I agree, your life sucks

58469

You deserved it

10067

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/10/2014 16:02 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

I agree, your life sucks

40145

You deserved it

4307

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 11/1/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7413

You deserved it

61061

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/3/2020 15:01

Deez nutz hurtz

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1777

You deserved it

445

Tweet

Share

By ZG_Rules - 20/3/2015 14:38 - Netherlands - Wageningen

Today, I disproved a scientific theory created by my supervisor. He was furious and said that I shouldn't have tried to disprove him. He told me to continue working with his theory and now he threatens to fire me if I publish my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34535

You deserved it

2949

Tweet

Share

By Pakundo - 17/1/2009 11:31 - France

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26972

You deserved it

2552

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/12/2009 03:32 - United States

Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10803

You deserved it

35559

Tweet

Share

By Cob - 3/2/2009 13:03 - United States

Today, I tried helping an old lady with her groceries. When I asked if she needed help she smiled. When I took one of her bags she yelled. I didn't know she was deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31116

You deserved it

2398

Tweet

Share

By love you too honey boo - 13/1/2020 05:00

Dirty room

Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML

I agree, your life sucks

901

You deserved it

2137

Tweet

Share

By EwFace - 6/6/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML

I agree, your life sucks

56385

You deserved it

8804

Tweet

Share

By ccrex - 5/8/2019 20:00

Today, I put my phone on top the car while putting my daughter in her car seat. Told myself not to forget it. Then I drove away, and it flew off the top of the car on the freeway. It got ran over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

812

You deserved it

1419

Tweet

Share

By Llamadroid - 22/5/2016 18:19 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, out of my whole class, I received no awards. All my teachers thought that I would get plenty from the others. Now people think I'm stupid. I have a 3.66 GPA and they won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12594

You deserved it

1441

Tweet

Share

By Noname - 21/1/2009 12:36 - Canada

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23601

You deserved it

3561

Tweet

Share

By NeverLookingAgain - 30/12/2016 04:16 - United States

Today, I faced my fears. I've always had a weird fear of looking out of windows at night, afraid a face would suddenly appear. When I heard a strange noise outside, I looked out the window. Sure enough, the face of a man suddenly appeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26304

You deserved it

1996

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Mirorbo | 26

#1221404 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:19

Fuhohohoho!~ Darling, don't you know? Mother's exist for the sole purpose of complaining!

By saurik | 0

#1221397 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:18

so why is your room so messy?

COMMENTS

By saurik | 0

#1221397 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:18

so why is your room so messy?

Reply

toothache | 0

#1221451 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:22

fylvfor having a bitchy mom

Reply

crabgass | 3

#1221469 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:24

I'm guessing ur a adult because kids ussually don't skip school to clean their room and If ur mom believed that she's an idiot. if u are an adult y would u let ur mom push u around like that?

Reply

Mickay1232 | 0

#1221476 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:25

woow ur mom is a b****!!!

Reply

puggfuggly | 0

#1221479 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:25

and the thread jacking begins ^^
btw this doesn't count as a thread jack since I'm replying to 4

Reply

toothache | 0

#1221491 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:26

#5 when did they mention school?

Reply

Whiskey0015 | 0

#1221529 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:28

#6 you're lucky! I still have 4 years while my other siblings are all at college D;

Reply

FFML_314 | 11

#1221535 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:28

#5 YOUR mom obviously let YOU skip school to clean YOUR room. It probably would have been in YOUR best interest to have completed each and every course.

Reply

lucious_mama | 0

#1221590 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:34

get use to it OP what else are moms for? you gave her hell for 10 months of course she is going to nag atyou the rest of her life.

and yes people before you say anything it is technically 10 months

Reply

the_flirtt | 0

#1221638 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:40

fyl for having a mean mom

Reply

smartman136 | 8

#1221696 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:48

fuck dat shit

Reply

kay96 | 0

#1221753 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:54

#5 read your comment. idiot.

Reply

TheOptimist | 0

#1221759 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:55

Yell at your mom for yelling at you. It will confuse her. As she is standing there confused, Pegasus kick her in the eye.

Reply

MnBran6 | 0

#1221836 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 10:14

26 - Like a boss

Reply

girl14 | 0

#1221944 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 10:34

my moms an asshole to and I'm not an over emotional teen I'm 25 hated her since I was 13.

Reply

sarah48_fml | 0

#1221982 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 10:45

this isn't an fml.. your mom bosses you around like most moms do.. get over it

Reply

Brittney_E | 0

#1222032 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 10:55

i have one word for you, sweeetheart.
menopause

Reply

guiltypleasure12 | 0

#1222041 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 10:57

28 made my night

Reply

babyale760 | 0

#1222089 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 11:13

OP your mom needs a dick in her mouth.
:) fyl

Reply

Jeannetteness | 0

#1222170 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 11:50

YDI for going to clean your room, but then getting high.
YDI for going to go find a broom, but then getting high.

Reply

StephanieeRaee | 0

#1222204 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 12:16

43 that song is amazing <3 :D

Reply

missmontreal97 | 4

#1222459 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 14:14

wow b**** FYL

Reply

th3b0ss | 0

#1222466 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 14:15

lol.

Reply

th3b0ss | 0

#1222474 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 14:19

38=win

Reply

luvtheknot | 6

#1222910 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 16:44

you should yell at her for being a crabit bitch
I'm jus sayin

Reply

fistnazal | 10

#1222986 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 17:03

32 makes my night.

yep.

Reply

christa953 | 12

#1223055 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 17:24

so you got yelled at? woooow your life is so awful. believe me when I say you could have so much worse

Reply

sarah48_fml | 0

#1223318 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 18:33

lol why?

Reply

twinny_sc | 13

#1223369 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 18:44

YDI for hav

Reply

twinny_sc | 13

#1223375 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 18:45

Grrr....stupid phone. Anyway my comment was supposed to say YDI for having a crazy menopausal mom.

Reply

chrishaparker | 0

#1223408 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 18:50

5 its summer so it could be a kid too yee knw. @OP : FYL .

Reply

chrishaparker | 0

#1223539 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 19:10

5 its summer so it could be a kid too yee knw. @OP : FYL .

Reply

terranada | 3

#1223915 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 19:39

steal her credit card and go on a shopping spree

Reply

chrishaparker | 0

#1224002 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 19:45

5 its summer so it could be a kid too yee knw. @OP : FYL .

Reply

devandanae | 11

#1224591 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 21:29

my mom does that to me

Reply

youareindeepshit | 0

#1227472 - Thursday 12 August 2010 9:38

sounds like a classic Asian parent.

Reply

wallcat | 0

#1234805 - Friday 13 August 2010 11:56

you can't win, can you?

By Mirorbo | 26

#1221404 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:19

Fuhohohoho!~ Darling, don't you know? Mother's exist for the sole purpose of complaining!

Reply

Mirorbo | 26

#1221441 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:22

Oh no, no, no!~ Shame on me!~

*Mothers

Reply

ShorTiE4LyFe | 0

#1221727 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:51

ooh fail...:( atleast you fixed it! :)

Reply

Mirorbo | 26

#1221741 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:52

By the time I noticed my silly little error it was too late. Fuhohoho...so sad.

Reply

chili10 | 18

#1221862 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 10:17

why whenever I read that laugh it sounds like santa claus... hmm

Reply

fistnazal | 10

#1222997 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 17:09

haha! I was JUST gunna say; "fuhohohoho" ... what'r you miss's (are they married? lol) clause??

shouldn't you be making cookies?

(as opposed to "sammiches"?)

eeh.. I tried?

oh. night mare before Christmas ftw!

Reply

jaidonsafira | 0

#1223464 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 19:04

MIRROR B FTW :)
@OP, moms are like that.

By NEStendo | 0

#1221496 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:26

I predict she'll yell at you for giving her numerous reasons to yell at you. Or for giving her laringitis.

By too_dopee | 0

#1221543 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:28

maybe next time youu shouldnt do anything
and youu wont get yelled at.

Reply

Jiplo | 18

#5440547 - Monday 8 April 2013 21:30

There are so many other things youu can do as well!

By Lozza111 | 0

#1221629 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:39

you should have cleaned your room earlier, helped at the shops and given your mum a box a chocolates

Reply

Sun_Kissed18 | 25

#1222683 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 16:03

Not everyone is the perfect child

By Jessi_the_sexii | 0

#1221631 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:39

maybe Martha Stuart can help u clean ur room better next time

By taltamir | 6

#1221674 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 9:44

ah, emotionally abusive mothers...

By linebacker42 | 0

#1221789 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 10:02

I LoVe Myself

Reply

angellx3 | 0

#1222013 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 10:51

no.

Reply

geovanni | 9

#1469790 - Tuesday 28 September 2010 18:44

yes.

By artisticninja713 | 13

#1221975 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 10:41

sounds like my family :| yls

By sasonzal | 4

#1222026 - Wednesday 11 August 2010 10:55

dude seriously it's not a school bully or somthing standup for yourself,do somthing