By Anonymous - 13/02/2014 12:43
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I'm 22 and last year due to the famous DQ Blizzard, also being lactose intolerant, I shit myself. It happened on the step of my girlfriends house in front of her mother. I had to wait until her little brother came out of the bathroom. My girlfriend cleaned my clothes and cleaned the floor on the way to the bathroom (disgusting, yes)... Safe to say she can handle my shit haha an FML by itself, but the point is your girlfriend can't handle yours LOL
#62, I forgot to mention I had lactaid pills, maximum dosage. I'm so lactose intolerant that they didn't work. It was embarrassing as hell when it happened, but I find it's funny now :p and it was a mini chocolate fudge blizzard.. A mini.. With the max amount of pills and did not help whatsoever.
That happens more than you'd guys think... when my sister went to Mexico to visit her in laws, she had to learn to squat and go bathroom outside behind a bush because they didn't have a bathroom (they're super poor) and since my sister is fat she couldn't support herself to reach and wipe... well my brother in law loves her sooooooo much he wiped her ass!!! I would never let my bf or anyone do that! I mean unless I was old, or handicapped or something... It's ok if you guys thumb me down though, its a true and disgusting story haha
Taking a deuce while squatting is something everyone who hunts learns to do, that's quite normal. Getting someone else to wipe your ass, well that's a new one to hear. Now totally exploding your bowels into your poor, poor undergarments, that's just sad. I've even shit alongside freeways to avoid said situation. But I will not shit my pants. No, no, no.
#11: Yours was a rare (and unfortunate) accident. The FML seems to imply that he never wipes properly. There's a difference between a girlfriend who helps her boyfriend clean up a rare and embarrassing mess, and a girlfriend who has to constantly clean up shit which can easily be avoided.
So let me get this straight, #11: you're declaring the validity of your relationship based on whether or not your girlfriend can clean up your lactose intolerance induced mess after you stupidly decided to eat ice cream on a date to her house? And seeing as it was her house and the fact that you mentioned SHE cleaned your clothes and her floors, did you actually help? Because it looked to me as though you were bragging about how she did all the cleaning while you presumably just stood there xP