Maybe you should listen to her

I'm 22 and last year due to the famous DQ Blizzard, also being lactose intolerant, I shit myself. It happened on the step of my girlfriends house in front of her mother. I had to wait until her little brother came out of the bathroom. My girlfriend cleaned my clothes and cleaned the floor on the way to the bathroom (disgusting, yes)... Safe to say she can handle my shit haha an FML by itself, but the point is your girlfriend can't handle yours LOL

Unlike Minaj... you should never listen to that.

That was suppose to be a comment, not a reply. But FYL OP

What the fuck, 11? Just plain and simple.. What.. The.. Fuck..?

If you're lactose intolerant why the fuck would you eat ice cream?

Sadomasochism?

#62, I forgot to mention I had lactaid pills, maximum dosage. I'm so lactose intolerant that they didn't work. It was embarrassing as hell when it happened, but I find it's funny now :p and it was a mini chocolate fudge blizzard.. A mini.. With the max amount of pills and did not help whatsoever.

And plus, who in the fuck.. Could resist the temptations of delicious ice cream? I only eat it when I plan on not being busy and close to a toilet LOL Burning ring of fire ain't got shit on me when I have ice cream haha

That happens more than you'd guys think... when my sister went to Mexico to visit her in laws, she had to learn to squat and go bathroom outside behind a bush because they didn't have a bathroom (they're super poor) and since my sister is fat she couldn't support herself to reach and wipe... well my brother in law loves her sooooooo much he wiped her ass!!!

I would never let my bf or anyone do that! I mean unless I was old, or handicapped or something...

It's ok if you guys thumb me down though, its a true and disgusting story haha

Taking a deuce while squatting is something everyone who hunts learns to do, that's quite normal. Getting someone else to wipe your ass, well that's a new one to hear. Now totally exploding your bowels into your poor, poor undergarments, that's just sad. I've even shit alongside freeways to avoid said situation. But I will not shit my pants. No, no, no.

@71: "unless I was old, or handicapped or something..." our youth ladies and gentlemen.

#11: Yours was a rare (and unfortunate) accident. The FML seems to imply that he never wipes properly. There's a difference between a girlfriend who helps her boyfriend clean up a rare and embarrassing mess, and a girlfriend who has to constantly clean up shit which can easily be avoided.

That sounds like an accident.
When you wash your boyfriends shitty undies day in and day out your sympathy kind of turns to disgust...
It's not that hard to wipe properly boys! Skiddies are for kiddies.

83, what?? have you never been to a home? a lot of old people can't do much for themselves anymore and have helpers. Ever been to a hospital? same thing. It has nothing to do with the youth.

So let me get this straight, #11: you're declaring the validity of your relationship based on whether or not your girlfriend can clean up your lactose intolerance induced mess after you stupidly decided to eat ice cream on a date to her house? And seeing as it was her house and the fact that you mentioned SHE cleaned your clothes and her floors, did you actually help? Because it looked to me as though you were bragging about how she did all the cleaning while you presumably just stood there xP

Well...learn to wipe and you will never have to do your laundry again

I've said this before, but flushable wipes are a magical thing.

Never too late to learn.

"Jokingly"

.. Ok, yeah, I totally believe you! It's not like you're trying to make yourself look like the victim when you're obviously a lazy sexist cunt... No way, Jose! Not with those cute cheeks!

Ouch...

are you ok? Did you hurt yourself? Would you like a band aid? ?

Maybe you should take that advice. That's nasty

Don't be lazy, do your laundry while you wipe your ass

That's nasty..

There's no excuse for leaving skidmarks. I'd make you hand wash that shit til you learned to wipe

I read this thing that used the term fart art XD haha

If you underwear looks like a Jackson Pollock painting you have serious issues.

literally.

Well, that was not an amazing image

So learn then...

Back to baby wipes.

Or diapers

They actually have flushable wipes for everyone now so there really is no excuse!

I use those huggies clean team wipes. XD they work great and I like them a lot more. Don't judge me! Lol.

If he went to diapers imagine the cleaning needed for that. Eeek.