Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist... - FML

By Escape! - 3/2/2009 21:38 - United States

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

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White line fever

No one likes a smart-ass

Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

By unworthyoflove - 9/6/2020 14:07

Parenting 101

Today, I told my parents that I was going to stop being so hard on myself all the time. They responded by calling me a narcissist. FML

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By yumx24 - 30/5/2009 13:45 - United States

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/1/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

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By mary - 21/2/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

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By only 10 more hours to go - 6/1/2012 11:40 - United States

Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML

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By noname - 4/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

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By SmileAndSayHi - 1/6/2016 19:23 - United States - Hialeah

Today, the underwire in my bra snapped as my 9-hour workday started. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/2/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

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By thatsnotmyname - 3/7/2014 03:12 - United States - Calhoun City

Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML

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By jeoak - 30/1/2013 17:25 - India

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

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By Malcolm654 - 29/9/2016 03:20 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years in front of the sell-out crowd at the baseball game, but at the security checkpoint, the security guard made me take the ring out and open it after I walked through the metal detector. No need to say it, worst proposal ever. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/1/2010 00:05 - United States

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

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By Rainman - 14/6/2009 20:39 - United States

Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML

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By GreenShelves - 9/4/2016 04:31 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, after staying up late all week to get work done, I arrived at my job having accomplished all my goals. In my sleep-deprived stupor, I completely forgot to bring the briefcase that had all of the evidence of that hard work. FML

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By iet_Wyrda - 4/10/2013 23:00 - France - Verneuil-sur-seine

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

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By ??? - 26/1/2017 04:00

Today, I finally had the guts to tell my mom about her boyfriend hitting on me. Not only did she not care, but she got mad at me. I'm 15. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/6/2015 23:13 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went to the living room where my mother was so I could ask her about something. I found her lying pantsless on the couch trying to cut her pubic hair with a pair of scissors. FML

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By wtf - 16/5/2014 22:25 - Australia - Narangba

Today, I started watching porn in my room with the volume muted. A minute later, my dad knocked on the door, so I closed everything and called him in. He just said, "Son, you disgust me." and walked out. Now I'm too paranoid to use my own computer. FML

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By brokeandhungry - 4/7/2013 05:18 - United States

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

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By poop - 18/5/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/2/2011 21:36 - United States

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

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By mongoosemike - 7/6/2011 05:55

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/11/2013 20:37 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/4/2012 21:10 - United States - York

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

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By a stupid jackass - 22/6/2012 01:28 - United States - New York

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

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By Pain - 6/5/2016 11:34 - United States - Andover

Today, my parents "suggested" I help them move house. I didn't realize that meant I would be carrying every stick of furniture out of their house. The muscles in my arms are so tight now that I can't straighten them. I can't wait to help them unpack tomorrow. FML

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By poupi - 25/12/2008 12:57 - France

Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

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By sherronj - 7/6/2011 03:26 - United States

Today, I announced to my family that I will be trying out for the next season of America's Best Dance Crew. They responded by laughing hysterically and my mother said "You guys suck, good luck making it past auditions". FML

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By hcflorence1 - 4/6/2011 17:37 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

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By it's sharty time :/ - 2/7/2016 18:45 - United States - Bismarck

Today, during an 8 hour shift at a very busy bowling alley, I found out I can't trust a fart anymore. I'm only 25. Now I have to finish my shift commando, and also get rid of the evidence without anyone noticing. FML

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By Checkless chick - 8/5/2013 22:21 - United States

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

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By 94lbs of muscle - 2/10/2013 18:37

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

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By irresponsible - 14/8/2010 20:41 - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

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By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

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By aragmir - 18/12/2016 06:10 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML

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By Selina - 22/6/2013 22:59 - United States - Trenton

Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML

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By Jen - 9/11/2010 03:36 - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/10/2017 04:00 - Australia

Today, I accidentally sent highly confidential patient records to a fired employee. This employee made the biggest song and dance about it, calling every boss possible. I couldn't have sent it to a better person. FML

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By e11ie - 27/9/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

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Top comments

By blinkingstarlet | 15

#69298 - Monday 30 March 2009 7:31

its alarming to me that nobody's asked this question yet...

WHY IS A GYNECOLOGIST EXAM POSTED ONLINE?? and is the patient aware?!

that's just creepy and weird. get a new roommate lol. FYL absolutely.

By TJ_fml | 0

#4200 - Friday 20 February 2009 2:20

Yeah, you should probably knock first if he is addicted to porn. That one is totally your fault.

Comments

By b023d | 0

#151 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 19:57

you're life is really f*cked if you accepted his offer :(

Reply

dagrathe | 0

#2793439 - Thursday 30 June 2011 21:33

you are life?

By TJ_fml | 0

#4200 - Friday 20 February 2009 2:20

Yeah, you should probably knock first if he is addicted to porn. That one is totally your fault.

By twitteraddict | 0

#6463 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 16:44

hes a tad creepy if he gets off watching gynie exam
pervert

By 1wrd_Fuck | 0

#11609 - Tuesday 3 March 2009 0:13

I do believe the question here is did you agree?

By ufail | 0

#15814 - Thursday 5 March 2009 8:00

try to watch a urologist exam

By idc_fml | 0

#16963 - Thursday 5 March 2009 23:38

your roomate is weird. really weird.

By Henrius_fml | 0

#27844 - Thursday 12 March 2009 7:24

awkward

By hoch449 | 0

#36554 - Tuesday 17 March 2009 4:18

im sure it will be a great bonding moment lol

By Sarasa01 | 0

#48106 - Saturday 21 March 2009 20:31

My oh my, look at that sexy pink cervix! Come quick dude, I think I can see her ovaries!

Reply

jbakse | 0

#1279048 - Saturday 21 August 2010 7:48

that was funny!!!!!! you're funny

By blinkingstarlet | 15

#69298 - Monday 30 March 2009 7:31

its alarming to me that nobody's asked this question yet...

WHY IS A GYNECOLOGIST EXAM POSTED ONLINE?? and is the patient aware?!

that's just creepy and weird. get a new roommate lol. FYL absolutely.

Reply

skullbashd | 3

#1035708 - Saturday 19 June 2010 8:45

it's a Porno retard which means he has a fetish which they set a gyno scenario it's no real

Reply

NostalgiaFreak9 | 40

#7596950 - Friday 9 February 2018 17:07

It could've been a medical training video.