Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist... - FML

By Escape! - United States

Today, I walked in on my porn addicted roommate watching a gynecologist exam online. He asked me to watch it with him. FML

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And today, on Dr Phil…

Serious times

Emergency haircut

By Anonymous

Poor me

Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML

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By ouch

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, the closest I got to a vacation was the smell of my new towels, because they remind me of a hotel. FML

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By croleymd - United States

Today, I found my company car wrecked in a ditch. Apparently, leaving it parked on an icy hill all night was a bad idea. I have to pick up my manager from the airport. FML

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By RetailRage - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

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By traveller - United States

Today, I drove 9 hours and took Monday off of work to surprise my Mom and Dad for Easter. They weren't home so I called to tell them the surprise, rather than wait. They didn't answer as they were on a flight to Denver to surprise me for Easter since "I couldn't get off work." FML

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By scubai - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

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By filipinoclari808 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

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By I'm a moron

Today, I woke up in an empty room. Thinking I'd been kidnapped, I kicked the door in. The previous night was a blur, and thought I'd been drugged. I was actually in the room my friends had put me in last night, because I went on a drunken rampage. It cost me $100 for a new door. FML

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By A. - United States

Today, out of all the cars in the parking lot, mine got struck by lightning. FML

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By Katz

Today, I was babysitting for a friend who develops software. After the baby was asleep, I was watching anime on my iPad. Turns out he created an app that alerts his phone whenever potential adult content streams through his internet. It was just an anime, but he's convinced I was watching porn. FML

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By unknown

Today, I dissected a baby pig. All I could think about was Wilber from Charlotte's Web. FML

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By Anthony - France

Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML

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By charlieday - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked if she should get birthcontrol, of course I said yes and offered to pay the 55 dollar fee. She got her physical and pills and then dumped me the next day. I basically paid 55 dollars so that she can sleep with other people. FML

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By Forever Alone x2 - United States

Today, I found out that the only two people I've had feelings for in years are both dating each other. FML

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By faeliality

Today, after finally getting my drivers license, I was able to drive myself to school for the first time! I got fined $50 for accidentally parking in the wrong lot. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

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By Genius

Today, I went to my fifth job interview in a month. While going over my CV, I found a watermark on the bottom of my cover letter that said it was generated by a template website. Yep, I gave all previous interviewers the same cover letter, with the same watermark. Can't wait to hear back! FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Lafayette

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

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By LA - United States

Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML

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By Éponine - 12/6/2020 17:03

Miserable

Today, as an aspiring performer, I tried to practice crying on demand by singing "A Little Fall of Rain" and "On My Own" from Les Misérables. It was all going well, until my nose started running uncontrollably and no tears actually came out of my eyes. Maybe acting isn't for me. FML

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By fucked - Canada

Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

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By maggie74 - United States - Enfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a nude picture, he sent it back to me with a mustache on my face from that iPhone app and told me he likes it much better that way. FML

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By well i'm fucked - United States - Aberdeen

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

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By Hypocrisy - United States

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

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By bigcityfail - United States

Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML

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By I write sins not other people's essays - United States - King George

Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML

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By Anonymous - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

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By Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I missed an important phone call. It's been so long since someone has called me that I didn't recognize my own ringtone. FML

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By fUcKOAHdSAjl - United States - Manchester

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

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By Nathan - United States

Today, I printed my 10 page econometrics problem set questions out on $15/100 sheet ivory resume paper that I'd accidentally left in the paper tray on my printer. It turned out to be the wrong assignment. FML

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By itwaswarm - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

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By stainseverywhere - United States

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

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By BrokenAndHurt - United States - Gilmanton

Today, my best friend decided to make some life changes. He got a new job, a new car, and asked me to move out of our apartment. We're 1,500 miles away from my hometown. I only moved all the way out here to live with him in the first place because he asked me to. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from my 2 week trip to Florida. At the airport, the door said "Enter Only", while a sign above it said "Do not enter." Long story short, I got arrested for "disobeying signs." Nothing says "Welcome home" like being arrested. FML

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By mandy - Australia

Today, my mum deleted my college research assignment on rape because the subject was too vulgar. I had worked on it for the past month and it was worth 50% of my grade. It's due tomorrow. FML

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By rholt - United States - Baldwin City

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

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By dck128 - United States

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

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Top comments

By blinkingstarlet | 15

#69298 - Monday 30 March 2009 7:31

its alarming to me that nobody's asked this question yet...

WHY IS A GYNECOLOGIST EXAM POSTED ONLINE?? and is the patient aware?!

that's just creepy and weird. get a new roommate lol. FYL absolutely.

By TJ_fml | 0

#4200 - Friday 20 February 2009 2:20

Yeah, you should probably knock first if he is addicted to porn. That one is totally your fault.

COMMENTS

By b023d | 0

#151 - Wednesday 4 February 2009 19:57

you're life is really f*cked if you accepted his offer :(

Reply

dagrathe | 0

#2793439 - Thursday 30 June 2011 21:33

you are life?

By TJ_fml | 0

#4200 - Friday 20 February 2009 2:20

Yeah, you should probably knock first if he is addicted to porn. That one is totally your fault.

By twitteraddict | 0

#6463 - Tuesday 24 February 2009 16:44

hes a tad creepy if he gets off watching gynie exam
pervert

By 1wrd_Fuck | 0

#11609 - Tuesday 3 March 2009 0:13

I do believe the question here is did you agree?

By ufail | 0

#15814 - Thursday 5 March 2009 8:00

try to watch a urologist exam

By idc_fml | 0

#16963 - Thursday 5 March 2009 23:38

your roomate is weird. really weird.

By Henrius_fml | 0

#27844 - Thursday 12 March 2009 7:24

awkward

By hoch449 | 0

#36554 - Tuesday 17 March 2009 4:18

im sure it will be a great bonding moment lol

By Sarasa01 | 0

#48106 - Saturday 21 March 2009 20:31

My oh my, look at that sexy pink cervix! Come quick dude, I think I can see her ovaries!

Reply

jbakse | 0

#1279048 - Saturday 21 August 2010 7:48

that was funny!!!!!! you're funny

By blinkingstarlet | 15

#69298 - Monday 30 March 2009 7:31

its alarming to me that nobody's asked this question yet...

WHY IS A GYNECOLOGIST EXAM POSTED ONLINE?? and is the patient aware?!

that's just creepy and weird. get a new roommate lol. FYL absolutely.

Reply

skullbashd | 3

#1035708 - Saturday 19 June 2010 8:45

it's a Porno retard which means he has a fetish which they set a gyno scenario it's no real

Reply

NostalgiaFreak9 | 40

#7596950 - Friday 9 February 2018 17:07

It could've been a medical training video.