Kids: Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't...

By WTF - United States

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

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Kids

Empathy lives

Triage

A mother's love…

By knee2tak - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend "we need to talk". He said "i know". So we met after school, and he said he was ok with me breaking up with him, that he wasn't that into me either. He said all that before I could tell him that my parents wanted to meet him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73723

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By erin - France

Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cyber sex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9262

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73722

You deserved it

4775

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By Don'tjudgeabook

Today, a man reminded me five times how much of a "nice guy" he was during our first conversation, saying also that I seem the sort to date the "bad guys" because I looked sweet and innocent. Then, without waiting for me to say something, he sighed and walked away, muttering that he always finished last. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4714

You deserved it

334

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By interviewed - United States

Today, I went to an interview for a job I really wanted and am qualified for. I've been looking for months. This job was perfect; close to home and great pay. Needless to say I spent quite a while preparing. Everything was going great until I had to sneeze, which forced out a loud, long fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50670

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By mish - United Kingdom - Leominster

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48129

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By Anonymous - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42867

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By ShootMe

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy

Today, a high maintenance client informed me that he wants 50+ pages of new content added to his website "now". He doesn't understand that I also have 30+ other clients to write for. I'm wondering if I can charge him for my new anxiety meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3223

You deserved it

294

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By bearprint

Today, I lost my job to the individual I just finished training. Within 2 hours after being escorted out, my old boss called and yelled at me for doing a lousy job. He was angry that the training was deficient and because the new person is as bad as I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15230

You deserved it

1371

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By KTK - United States

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49810

You deserved it

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By idrow

Today, a bear dragged my neighbor's garbage across the street and stopped right in the middle of my front yard, where it proceeded to scatter the contents and have a feast. When it was finished, it took a massive dump on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2958

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190

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By ypsitucky - United States

Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34591

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By asthmattack - Australia - Mona Vale

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34230

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By Anonymous - 3/3/2021 20:02 - Australia

Admit you're shit

Today, I found out that one of my coworkers, who has been with the company for less than a week, is getting a $7k pay rise. I've been with the company for 8 months and still on minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

933

You deserved it

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By tima

* backs away slowly *

Today, I went to visit my long-distance boyfriend for the first time. His room is decorated top to bottom with swastikas and confederate flags. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4832

You deserved it

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By "7thwardlord"

Today, I decided to be nice and "drop" a twenty in my grandma's house for her to find. She injured her back while picking it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3891

You deserved it

822

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12194

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, I came home sick. After a while I received a text message. I thought it was a sweet 'how are you baby?' from my boyfriend. It wasn't. He sent: 'Hey, I'm going to work now. Please do not disturb. Thank you!' FML

I agree, your life sucks

26003

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By herpderp - United States

Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - "90% of teen virgins aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any." Another classmate pointed me out specifically. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43299

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commerical. FML

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47402

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By erin - 16/5/2021 17:01

Honest discrimination

Today, I was called fatphobic for rejecting an overweight man who asked me on a date. I don’t know how to force myself to be attracted to fat people. There’s just nothing there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1054

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204

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By sad-boing - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24809

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By whatsername92 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

I agree, your life sucks

36421

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United States - Salinas

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11943

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By Mrs. Terrified - United States

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30149

You deserved it

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By IzzMeister - United States

Just a movie

Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn featuring my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML

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1894

You deserved it

179

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By Noname - United States

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64366

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - 3/10/2020 16:56

Family matters

Today, I was told by step-dad, who I live with, that my mom "hates my guts" while smiling so big, because he got a call from her. He's so desperate for her to come back that all the lying, cheating, manipulation, and emotional abuse doesn't push him away. She's a tornado. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1117

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By -___- - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29592

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By Anonymous - 23/7/2021 19:59

Worst sniper ever

Today, I had to ban my teenage son from taking his phone into the bathroom, not because he looks at porn, but because he’s so engrossed in the screen, he doesn’t aim while he pees all over the seat and sometimes the floor, without cleaning it up. He’s not incapable, just fucking lazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

878

You deserved it

117

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By kumcat - United States - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31886

You deserved it

3944

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By ugh - United States - Athens

Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9955

You deserved it

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By John_Elvis - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22259

You deserved it

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By bitchface - United States

Plans

Today, I looked at my father's Facebook for the first time in a month to see a status saying, "Making wedding plans!" Really? When was he planning on telling his own daughter? FML

I agree, your life sucks

31810

You deserved it

3042

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By thanksjill - United States

Today, our school went to an elementary school to read to the kids. One of the girls in my group asked me if she could switch into another group, so I asked her what was wrong with mine. She said, "Nothing, I wanna be in her group. She's prettier." I was insulted by a kindergartner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53835

You deserved it

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By wdones97

Today, at my job, I was so tired and aggravated that I accidentally mumbled, "I need a drink." One of the patients I was taking care of heard me and said, "Me too." I work at an addiction rehab facility. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1862

You deserved it

2789

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was supposed to start my vacation in Italy. I guess not everyone heard that I canceled it due to health problems, because this morning I caught two of my "friends" unplugging my TV after breaking into my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28944

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - Turkey

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36769

You deserved it

5962

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By Christian - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. We are on a cruise together. She has already found another room to sleep in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53672

You deserved it

3542

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By AOart1st - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36107

You deserved it

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Top comments

By null_fml | 11

#542205 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

Could be that somebody's borrowed it. I can see your worry though. But make sure before you jump to any conclusions.

By DeadMansCrack | 4

#542219 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:24

yo mama's got some 'splainin to do

COMMENTS

By Starchild21 | 3

#542197 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:21

OH SHIT BUSTED. Well hopefully your dad's car broke down and your mom was teaching him the proper use of his stick-shift.

btw FIRST

wtfismyfml | 0

#542269 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:39

LOL

darren824 | 0

#542314 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:55

im sure thats what happened

Starchild21 | 3

#542387 - Sunday 6 September 2009 2:24

Oh God and people say I don't get hyperbole

___________________________
www.myspace.com/rapid99

indiana_gal | 0

#542391 - Sunday 6 September 2009 2:26

ew! scarred for life...............!!!!! and rofl #1!

jimgrant1 | 0

#542429 - Sunday 6 September 2009 2:42

that wasnt funny at all..

Starchild21 | 3

#542457 - Sunday 6 September 2009 2:50

Not my fault the cock up your ass is keeping you from a sense of humor.

_______________________
www.myspace.com/rapid99

p89hg69 | 0

#542486 - Sunday 6 September 2009 3:03

lol, love how he keeps leaving his myspace url

i8shrooms | 2

#542494 - Sunday 6 September 2009 3:06

haha eww:)

AlexZB | 0

#542585 - Sunday 6 September 2009 3:49

woot! i moderated this, im glad this made it on

aFMLaddict | 0

#542635 - Sunday 6 September 2009 4:17

I Dont know why people even would vote YDI...how can he deserved this?

FYL indeed..!

myfishisBOBA | 0

#542861 - Sunday 6 September 2009 6:27

ha.

i gasped after i read this.

seanreddog | 4

#542913 - Sunday 6 September 2009 7:15

You slipped out of the room, your "dad" slipped out of the driveway, your real dad slipped out of your mom, your mom slipped out of consciousness. Wow, your family must use alot of soap for such dirty people. I bet you own at least three slip and slides, I sure wish I did.

haleycstar | 0

#544872 - Monday 7 September 2009 3:47

LOLZ!!!!!

Br8y16 | 0

#993908 - Saturday 15 May 2010 8:25

haha, ur mom's a slut

jjpavo | 0

#1034430 - Friday 18 June 2010 3:25

somone stole ur dads car or ur mom is a hoebag. i choose the second one

By _anonymoose_ | 0

#542201 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

That sucks

NobodysLover | 0

#542373 - Sunday 6 September 2009 2:18

yes it does
ur mom needs to get her
priorities straight

seanreddog | 4

#542940 - Sunday 6 September 2009 7:36

I'm afraid of parmesan cheese, makes me want to hide in the bathtub.

lifeisaterriblem | 6

#2577157 - Saturday 28 May 2011 5:23

oh my god. that's freaking scary. I agree with #2 that sucks. really bad

Aniki_Sohma | 20

#4943840 - Tuesday 18 September 2012 4:53

Been there... Whatever her reasons, you need to respect your mom for making her choice. My parents cheated on each other at least 3 times before they finally divorced. Perhaps it's a good thing. It mightn't seem that way now, but maybe in time.

By plexico | 3

#542202 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

Oh, my God! Your dad's car got stolen!

redbluegreen | 40

#542208 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:23

At least they're able to still enjoy each other through this tragic time. (;

the_stereotype | 0

#542546 - Sunday 6 September 2009 3:35

no, no, plexico, you misunderstand. i think she was trying to say that her dad drove the car into the house where her parents were doing it.

Failzoid | 0

#542723 - Sunday 6 September 2009 4:59

Thank you captain obvious.

cs68507 | 0

#542743 - Sunday 6 September 2009 5:12

Ahh my favorite phrase in life!!!

By null_fml | 11

#542205 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

Could be that somebody's borrowed it. I can see your worry though. But make sure before you jump to any conclusions.

vb68_fml | 28

#6446718 - Wednesday 28 October 2015 7:34

Somebody borrowed it? seriously? The situation seems very clear to me...

By porp1 | 4

#542209 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:23

ya, WTF is rite

By surfgirl_777 | 0

#542213 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:24

ouch

By Nonamerequired | 0

#542216 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:24

Who sais it was replaced?

By DeadMansCrack | 4

#542219 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:24

yo mama's got some 'splainin to do

By beautiful_mayhem | 0

#542223 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:26

blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp.

(Also, blerp.)