Kids: Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't...

By WTF - United States

Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

78418

You deserved it

3383

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Kids

Instadrama

Doomed

That'll be Kevin in accounting

By tempted to become single - United States - Atwater

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks

26203

You deserved it

3145

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By nomail - United States - Minneapolis

Today, the management office of my apartment building announced it will be keeping packages in the office until you can pick them up. They also posted new hours. There will be someone in the office once a week, for two hours only. I work those two hours, every single week. No more mail for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12607

You deserved it

843

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By Forever Alone

Hashtag ForeverAlone

Today, I was so happy to hear my phone go "Ding" that I jumped for joy out of my couch. It was actually a character on my TV getting a text. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1611

You deserved it

262

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By Anonymous - Europe

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35556

You deserved it

18156

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By Anonymous

Today, I was scrolling through Instagram when I got a new follow suggestion. I checked her feed, and found out it was my ex-fiancé’s newest fiancée. And he'd proposed to her using an $185 ring I'd bought myself for my birthday last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1701

You deserved it

148

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By Melissa Barrios

Today, my son, who has ASD, told a woman how gigantic her butt was. While trying to remind him that some things are not nice to say, he screamed that her butt is the "giantest butt ever," like it was an accomplishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1617

You deserved it

167

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By TBaggins00 - United States

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14214

You deserved it

61542

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By ViviMage

Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

3778

You deserved it

348

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By arthur - New Zealand

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33708

You deserved it

2615

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59438

You deserved it

7445

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By HomeAlone - United States

Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9841

You deserved it

21152

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15941

You deserved it

140015

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By Dumbass Dude

Today, I pulled into a parking lot, for the car to simply shut off because I ran out of gas. Then I couldn't get the key out of the ignition, so I called my dad, who walked all the way to where I was, only to find out that the car was still in drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

629

You deserved it

1964

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By nolife - United States - Richmond

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10171

You deserved it

29886

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9346

You deserved it

29187

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By 0ros - United States

Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29603

You deserved it

4343

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27670

You deserved it

2165

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By Anonymous

Today, my therapist recommended that I start seeing a psychiatrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8926

You deserved it

1047

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By honeynuggetviolin

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49830

You deserved it

5714

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By heckaza - Australia - Werribee

Today, I went to visit a suburb that was named after my family. Within five minutes of walking around I was mugged and then beat up. My family name has certainly done well for itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19553

You deserved it

1900

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By notgood - 4/1/2021 16:01 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

602

You deserved it

269

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By Kasnt - United States

Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31433

You deserved it

8180

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45072

You deserved it

30505

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By stupidbullcrêpe - Brazil - Santos

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27041

You deserved it

6243

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By KBO - Australia

Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32997

You deserved it

43265

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By mugres22 - United States - Pacoima

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48862

You deserved it

3307

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By holdengurl18 - China

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42661

You deserved it

13009

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By Hanna - United States

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58485

You deserved it

4638

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By Eyefreshener - United States

Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9079

You deserved it

66838

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By Anonymous - 28/3/2020 05:00

Slicey machine go thwack

Today, I lost my job due to the coronavirus. I have no way to pay my bills and very few places are hiring just now. My boss tried to make me feel better by saying her husband was just laid off and they'll struggle as well. She has a £120k salary and just got a £30k bonus. Apparently, "we're in the same boat." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2015

You deserved it

132

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By Anonymous - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom found out that I've been having counselling behind her back for the past 4 years. I broke down in tears explaining everything. Her response was, "So you go and bitch about me behind my back?!" And she wonders why I'm depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53630

You deserved it

5603

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By blahhhh - United States

Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said "Mabye you should try our girls section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58336

You deserved it

4977

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By Clunker - United States

Today, as I was driving with my boyfriend, he pointed out what a crappy car I drive. About how the locks don't work, the vents are broken, the windshield wipers are busted, my headlights aren't bright, and a hubcap is missing. Then he said I’m a good match for my car, 'cos we have the same “personality". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33830

You deserved it

3949

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By agnosticstudy - United States

Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12259

You deserved it

28750

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By anonymous - United States - Tallahassee

Today, I got a brand new down comforter and duvet cover that I really liked. I'd finally managed to put everything the way I wanted it, and then my roommate's dog came and peed all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11781

You deserved it

884

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By Anonymous

Today, I told my girlfriend that I miss the amazing sex life we used to have, as we haven't had sex in months. She accidentally blurted out, "Well, I've still got one." It seems our neighbour has taken over my role in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10425

You deserved it

863

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By Can't Spell Worth A Damn - United States

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30649

You deserved it

41635

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By :/ - Netherlands - Nijkerk

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44094

You deserved it

2505

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By yashika - United States - Denver

Today, I discovered that it doesn’t matter where I move, I will always wake up at 5 a.m. to the sound of construction directly above my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1487

You deserved it

120

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I shaved half my eyebrow off trying to shave my uni-brow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18327

You deserved it

31532

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Top comments

By null_fml | 11

#542205 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

Could be that somebody's borrowed it. I can see your worry though. But make sure before you jump to any conclusions.

By DeadMansCrack | 4

#542219 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:24

yo mama's got some 'splainin to do

COMMENTS

By Starchild21 | 3

#542197 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:21

OH SHIT BUSTED. Well hopefully your dad's car broke down and your mom was teaching him the proper use of his stick-shift.

btw FIRST

wtfismyfml | 0

#542269 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:39

LOL

darren824 | 0

#542314 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:55

im sure thats what happened

Starchild21 | 3

#542387 - Sunday 6 September 2009 2:24

Oh God and people say I don't get hyperbole

___________________________
www.myspace.com/rapid99

indiana_gal | 0

#542391 - Sunday 6 September 2009 2:26

ew! scarred for life...............!!!!! and rofl #1!

jimgrant1 | 0

#542429 - Sunday 6 September 2009 2:42

that wasnt funny at all..

Starchild21 | 3

#542457 - Sunday 6 September 2009 2:50

Not my fault the cock up your ass is keeping you from a sense of humor.

_______________________
www.myspace.com/rapid99

p89hg69 | 0

#542486 - Sunday 6 September 2009 3:03

lol, love how he keeps leaving his myspace url

i8shrooms | 2

#542494 - Sunday 6 September 2009 3:06

haha eww:)

AlexZB | 0

#542585 - Sunday 6 September 2009 3:49

woot! i moderated this, im glad this made it on

aFMLaddict | 0

#542635 - Sunday 6 September 2009 4:17

I Dont know why people even would vote YDI...how can he deserved this?

FYL indeed..!

myfishisBOBA | 0

#542861 - Sunday 6 September 2009 6:27

ha.

i gasped after i read this.

seanreddog | 4

#542913 - Sunday 6 September 2009 7:15

You slipped out of the room, your "dad" slipped out of the driveway, your real dad slipped out of your mom, your mom slipped out of consciousness. Wow, your family must use alot of soap for such dirty people. I bet you own at least three slip and slides, I sure wish I did.

haleycstar | 0

#544872 - Monday 7 September 2009 3:47

LOLZ!!!!!

Br8y16 | 0

#993908 - Saturday 15 May 2010 8:25

haha, ur mom's a slut

jjpavo | 0

#1034430 - Friday 18 June 2010 3:25

somone stole ur dads car or ur mom is a hoebag. i choose the second one

By _anonymoose_ | 0

#542201 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

That sucks

NobodysLover | 0

#542373 - Sunday 6 September 2009 2:18

yes it does
ur mom needs to get her
priorities straight

seanreddog | 4

#542940 - Sunday 6 September 2009 7:36

I'm afraid of parmesan cheese, makes me want to hide in the bathtub.

lifeisaterriblem | 6

#2577157 - Saturday 28 May 2011 5:23

oh my god. that's freaking scary. I agree with #2 that sucks. really bad

Aniki_Sohma | 20

#4943840 - Tuesday 18 September 2012 4:53

Been there... Whatever her reasons, you need to respect your mom for making her choice. My parents cheated on each other at least 3 times before they finally divorced. Perhaps it's a good thing. It mightn't seem that way now, but maybe in time.

By plexico | 3

#542202 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

Oh, my God! Your dad's car got stolen!

redbluegreen | 40

#542208 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:23

At least they're able to still enjoy each other through this tragic time. (;

the_stereotype | 0

#542546 - Sunday 6 September 2009 3:35

no, no, plexico, you misunderstand. i think she was trying to say that her dad drove the car into the house where her parents were doing it.

Failzoid | 0

#542723 - Sunday 6 September 2009 4:59

Thank you captain obvious.

cs68507 | 0

#542743 - Sunday 6 September 2009 5:12

Ahh my favorite phrase in life!!!

By null_fml | 11

#542205 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:22

Could be that somebody's borrowed it. I can see your worry though. But make sure before you jump to any conclusions.

vb68_fml | 28

#6446718 - Wednesday 28 October 2015 7:34

Somebody borrowed it? seriously? The situation seems very clear to me...

By porp1 | 4

#542209 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:23

ya, WTF is rite

By surfgirl_777 | 0

#542213 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:24

ouch

By Nonamerequired | 0

#542216 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:24

Who sais it was replaced?

By DeadMansCrack | 4

#542219 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:24

yo mama's got some 'splainin to do

By beautiful_mayhem | 0

#542223 - Sunday 6 September 2009 1:26

blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp blerp.

(Also, blerp.)