Intimacy: Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself... - FML

By meikd423 - 10/09/2010 16:36 - France

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 799

You deserved it 4 542

Hiding from the drama

Bored

No end in sight

By VMV - 01/02/2013 23:53 - Spain - Abrera

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 089

You deserved it 9 368

By AntiAxe - 29/11/2010 06:23

Spicy

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 102

You deserved it 3 559

By Jace - 19/08/2011 22:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 393

You deserved it 5 699

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 530

You deserved it 2 897

Adding insult to injury

By robinhoood - 20/04/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours, while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up, my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 058

You deserved it 3 603

Get the message

By Confession - 16/05/2016 02:07 - Belgium

Today, I've been begging my boyfriend to get us a dog for months now. This morning, I noticed he'd bought some toilet paper with dogs printed on it. I asked him if it was a sign. He replied, "Yeah, one you can stick up your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 277

You deserved it 3 841

By allgrowedup - 12/02/2011 03:10 - United States

Today, my mom left me at home with a babysitter. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 302

You deserved it 5 481

By DeadDude - 27/12/2010 11:29

Today, I took my kids to the doctor. In the waiting room, a six year old boy walked up to me, punched me in the crotch, and ran away with my glasses. When the kid's parents made him give me my glasses back, he spat on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 002

You deserved it 3 189

By woof? - 19/04/2015 17:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 511

You deserved it 3 429

By Anonymous - 24/06/2015 03:16 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 012

You deserved it 2 146

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 20:28 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 483

You deserved it 79 648

By lone_ranger - 25/09/2009 11:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 309

You deserved it 3 454

By Anonymous - 20/08/2013 08:38 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 808

You deserved it 3 122

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on new year's eve. An hour later I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the new year with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 450

You deserved it 4 408

By Badday - 23/11/2017 19:00

Today, I received a call from a company attempting to steal me away. Flattered, I told them I liked my job and the answer was no. When I told my boss, he said they're thinking about laying me off and I should've taken the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 419

You deserved it 376

By wtfiswrongwithher - 07/05/2011 13:56 - Australia

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 694

You deserved it 7 493

By CatLover - 06/11/2014 18:30 - United States - Bartow

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 421

You deserved it 2 774

By Taylor Easley - 17/03/2012 04:53 - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 100

You deserved it 3 139

Feeling let down

By Ryan - 27/06/2021 02:01

Today, after my fourth flat tire, I realized that I've had more flat tires in the last 2 years than months in relationships throughout my entire life. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 119

You Muppet!

By Branski - 29/07/2011 00:27 - United States

Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounded a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 671

You deserved it 6 962

By tammy - 27/06/2012 05:05 - United States - Inglewood

Spicy

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 990

You deserved it 3 587

By Anonymous - 29/10/2010 03:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife named our son after her ex boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 083

You deserved it 2 905

By Anon - 03/10/2009 11:43 - Australia

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 470

You deserved it 5 178

By innocent - 19/04/2017 00:00

Today my best friend called me at 6 a.m., ranting and accusing me of sleeping with her husband. I live two hours away and haven't seen him in person in over six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 366

You deserved it 319

By socargone - 17/01/2017 22:00

Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 347

You deserved it 1 884

By "taelor14" - 08/11/2017 01:30

Today, after boarding my flight, the flight attendant looked at me and said that I had to sit elsewhere because I had to be over 14 to sit near the emergency exit. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 326

You deserved it 295

By Jenny - 09/02/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 269

You deserved it 4 811

By soccerlove09 - 11/10/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 920

You deserved it 6 340

By Sally256 - 03/05/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 600

You deserved it 26 973

By Anonymous - 29/06/2016 02:17 - United States - High Springs

Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 334

You deserved it 2 722

By Anonymous - 25/09/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 030

You deserved it 5 167

By Katherine - 13/02/2012 21:23 - United States

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 549

You deserved it 6 471

By anonymous - 13/07/2015 09:45 - China - Shanghai

Today, I was yelled at by a bunch of angry people because I couldn't physically move out of the way while 10 more tried to force their way onto a subway in Shanghai. Then one old lady started hitting me with her purse to get me to move even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 869

You deserved it 2 051

By jackson - 06/09/2010 17:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 102

You deserved it 38 891

By Biologyfacepalm - 03/03/2014 19:58 - United States

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 633

You deserved it 4 901

Pull your shit together, Bezos

By SadAndCold - 11/10/2020 07:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my Amazon delivery was delayed. I just moved to a new place and that delivery had my pillow and blanket. I can't go buy them in person since I'm self-isolating and the heating isn't working either. Guess I'm sleeping in the freezing cold on the bare mattress one more night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 235

I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry that I made you cry

By jenni - 06/04/2021 20:00

Today, my seven-year-old niece gave me a birthday card. Only she'd spelled my name as ‘Jenny.’ When I told her it was spelled with an i instead of a y, she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 970

By burnt - 13/08/2012 04:43 - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 065

You deserved it 3 331

By Anonymous - 13/05/2016 03:46 - United States - Nampa

Today, I took my binder on a short road trip two hours away from my home, so that I could study for my upcoming finals. When I got home, I realized I that had left my binder all the way there, containing my notes, classwork, homework, finals notes, etc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 936

You deserved it 3 743

By jigglypuff100 - 20/12/2011 00:56 - United States

Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 260

You deserved it 4 171

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:22

that's hot

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:25

what a hoe!

Comments

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:22

that's hot

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:23

ohhh my god!!! your lífe totally sucks!!!

hockeyplayer82 0

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:37

pics or it didn't happen. I KNOW THERE IS SOME SOMEWHERE

w2z1 0

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:43

Merry Christmas.

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:53

I saw mama sexting santa clause!!!

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Saturday 11 September 2010 0:24

haha your hot ... maybe... I dunno. haha but talk about AWKWARD?!

SmallTownCutie 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 1:05

sexxxy(;

fatty_in_cali 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 1:21

I want copies of the pics

EmmyGrangerDC 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 1:34

I'd understand her room, but the KITCHEN? That's probably the most used room in the house!

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Saturday 11 September 2010 1:58

well your mums a skank. what mother does that? yeah whatever loads probs do, but in the kitchen when her kids are home? right.. mm does she have a bedroom or is she some sick twisted mum? :)

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Saturday 11 September 2010 2:13

i sense /s/ 4chan fail

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Saturday 11 September 2010 3:13

hahaaa ewwwww !

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Saturday 11 September 2010 3:26

I guess I shouldn't complain but wats with all the girls on fml lately?

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Saturday 11 September 2010 3:48

whats with the dissapearence of guys? (: haha

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Saturday 11 September 2010 4:02

post tits or gtfo

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Saturday 11 September 2010 4:16

or maybe no on was home when he started and op came home early. either way that's awesome!

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Saturday 11 September 2010 4:19

wht? it's not even Christmas yet!

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Saturday 11 September 2010 5:34

she should at least have the decency to do it in the bedroom

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Saturday 11 September 2010 6:13

She was taking those pictures for me. They're in the kitchen because immediately afterwards she was ordered to make me a sandwich.

shortstuff9519 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 9:34

milf

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Saturday 11 September 2010 14:57

tell her she got my email wrong and she needs to resend the photos.

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Saturday 11 September 2010 17:20

Fake and Gay. Pics or it didnt happen.

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Saturday 11 September 2010 18:41

lol

thegoodlife101 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 19:03

win.

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Saturday 11 September 2010 20:08

lol:)

katecookieface 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 21:29

WIN.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 5:22

Jizz in His Pants.

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Sunday 12 September 2010 18:48

well it was time for a new pic to put on the Christmas postcards.

daflyinhawaiian 0

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Monday 13 September 2010 3:49

lol. naughty list

tweetbaby14 18

Tuesday 14 September 2010 1:23

you take nude pics with nothing on except for certain things OP!? you gotta be shittin me!

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Tuesday 14 September 2010 10:14

JUSTiN BEiBER?

xLonelyStonerx 0

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Sunday 19 September 2010 2:11

Win ^^

stunner_steph 0

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Monday 27 September 2010 8:16

ur moms clearly awesome

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:25

what a hoe!

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Saturday 11 September 2010 5:12

She's a nice lady!!!!

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Saturday 11 September 2010 6:12

How dare you, she's a nice lady! - Allen from the Hangover

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Saturday 11 September 2010 9:45

he's jacking his little wienus

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Saturday 11 September 2010 14:16

lol

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Friday 17 September 2010 7:46

LOL

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Wednesday 22 February 2012 5:25

Hoe Hoe Hoe!! Merry Christmas!!

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:30

Lol^^ Milf!!!!!

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:30

^^ haha that sucks though

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Saturday 11 September 2010 2:26

That ROCKS, actually!

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:30

^^ haha that sucks though

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:31

Did you join..?

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:32

post them up

Chaith 16

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:35

It's SEPTEMBER

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:37

it's September wdf! lmao. if you guys live in a windy city like Chicago or somthing then I'll understand. Bow-chicka-wow-wow! :)

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Saturday 11 September 2010 0:36

brown chicken brown cow...

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Saturday 11 September 2010 1:20

somebody's hungry

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Saturday 11 September 2010 2:28

Um, Chicago or not, it STILL wouldn't make any sense. Does Christmas occur in September in windy cities? Here I thought it was always in December.

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Saturday 11 September 2010 9:46

lol 59 don't worry, I was under that same impression...

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Saturday 11 September 2010 10:35

Lmao @ 45!!

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:37

disturbing. and entirely out of season.

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 11

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 2 282

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 194