Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself... - FML

By meikd423 - France

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML

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Rock, hard place

Expanding universe

Craft beer bores

By savvylady - United States

Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

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By LOTRfail - United States - Malden

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

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By hardee fucking har yourself, sir - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

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By yosmurf

They're perfect for each other!

Today, I took my brother to the ER. His bimbo girlfriend told him he has "ironing board abs" so they had the bright idea of ironing her clothes on his stomach. When the Dr. asked him why he didn't stop if it burned, he said he didn't want to look "like a pussy". He'd have likely drowned if she'd gotten it right and said "washboard abs". FML

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By william - United States

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

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By Creeped - United States

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought it would be a great idea to tell my co-worker to calm down when he appeared to be very uptight. He thought it would be a great idea to punch me right in the face. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Renton

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

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By Cat Ashes - United States - Dewitt

Today, I received an unexpected package from my mother. It contained my cat's ashes. Apparently he died 3 weeks ago and she thought this was the best way to tell me. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, while driving my new car, a squirrel ran in front of me so I slammed on my brakes. The person behind me didn't notice and rear-ended me. The squirrel got hit by a car going the opposite direction. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Grand Bay

Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML

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By momaaa1342 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

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By myBFsucks - Canada

Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, my future mother-in-law informed me that since she is putting money into our wedding, that all the planning and arrangements are under her authority. FML

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By dontask

Today I was stalking my Bumble match’s Instagram feed before I said hello. I went to tap for sound on a video of him getting his backside tattooed but accidentally double tapped and liked the video. Sound turned on and I realized I liked a video of him farting. Couldn’t say hello after that. FML.

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By aridaley - United States

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

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By mommymo - Australia

Today, while tearfully telling my closest friends that I had miscarried my first pregnancy, the first thing out of their mouths was, 'So, does this mean you're going to start drinking with us again?' FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work. I pulled impatiently behind a long line of cars to make a right hand turn. I sat there for 5 minutes. Turns out there wasn't a line to make a right hand turn. I had been waiting behind a line of parked cars. FML

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By Deaf - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

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By lonelynessinCA - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

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By in big trouble - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

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By Manu - United States - Columbia

Today, I went to get my first manicure. While waiting, I looked at the menu board. When I wondered aloud: "I know what a French manicure is, but what on Earth is a Polish change?" The whole place started laughing and I guess I'm not going back. FML

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By :(

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML

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By ouch - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Chicago Ridge

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML

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By JeezAndAges

Today, I walked in on my nineteen-year-old stepson masturbating into a pair of my panties. His excuse? He thought they belonged to my 17-year-old daughter. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Lexington

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/9/2020 10:01 - United States - Saint Joseph

Fiancé of the year

Today, I found out that my fiancé of three years, with whom I share a child, fell in love with my best friend and they’ve been going on dates for the last four months after work. FML

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By James - Australia

Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying 'I want my cat back'. I have no idea what they are talking about. FML

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By yamaha_313 - United States - Wartburg

Today, my 82-year-old great grandfather informed me that his "peeter" still works, and that most guys his age can't say the same. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I finally got a promotion at work. Today I also found out that no matter how long I work, no matter how much effort and unpaid overtime I put in for 6 years, my coworkers will be convinced I only got promoted because I'm the CFO's son. FML

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By Harejordan - United States

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

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By CantPublish - United States

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

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Top comments

By timmy455 | 0

#1384583 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:22

that's hot

By IsabellaC | 0

#1384592 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:25

what a hoe!

COMMENTS

By timmy455 | 0

#1384583 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:22

that's hot

Reply

karlita22 | 0

#1384586 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:23

ohhh my god!!! your lífe totally sucks!!!

Reply

hockeyplayer82 | 0

#1384644 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:37

pics or it didn't happen. I KNOW THERE IS SOME SOMEWHERE

Reply

w2z1 | 0

#1384672 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:43

Merry Christmas.

Reply

pinkpillowz | 0

#1384703 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:53

I saw mama sexting santa clause!!!

Reply

xxroseyxx | 0

#1384839 - Saturday 11 September 2010 0:24

haha your hot ... maybe... I dunno. haha but talk about AWKWARD?!

Reply

SmallTownCutie | 0

#1384943 - Saturday 11 September 2010 1:05

sexxxy(;

Reply

fatty_in_cali | 0

#1385069 - Saturday 11 September 2010 1:21

I want copies of the pics

Reply

EmmyGrangerDC | 0

#1385152 - Saturday 11 September 2010 1:34

I'd understand her room, but the KITCHEN? That's probably the most used room in the house!

Reply

tashawoods | 0

#1385286 - Saturday 11 September 2010 1:58

well your mums a skank. what mother does that? yeah whatever loads probs do, but in the kitchen when her kids are home? right.. mm does she have a bedroom or is she some sick twisted mum? :)

Reply

JZhang91 | 0

#1385371 - Saturday 11 September 2010 2:13

i sense /s/ 4chan fail

Reply

jaybird9 | 0

#1385607 - Saturday 11 September 2010 3:13

hahaaa ewwwww !

Reply

Jizwold | 0

#1385649 - Saturday 11 September 2010 3:26

I guess I shouldn't complain but wats with all the girls on fml lately?

Reply

rushiee | 0

#1385747 - Saturday 11 September 2010 3:48

whats with the dissapearence of guys? (:
haha

Reply

BallinJ | 0

#1385795 - Saturday 11 September 2010 4:02

post tits or gtfo

Reply

suprmidgt | 0

#1385840 - Saturday 11 September 2010 4:16

or maybe no on was home when he started and op came home early. either way that's awesome!

Reply

pooponyuou | 0

#1385852 - Saturday 11 September 2010 4:19

wht? it's not even Christmas yet!

Reply

berrenduh | 0

#1386086 - Saturday 11 September 2010 5:34

she should at least have the decency to do it in the bedroom

Reply

Renesaga | 8

#1386205 - Saturday 11 September 2010 6:13

She was taking those pictures for me. They're in the kitchen because immediately afterwards she was ordered to make me a sandwich.

Reply

shortstuff9519 | 0

#1386731 - Saturday 11 September 2010 9:34

milf

Reply

ComMed1 | 0

#1387405 - Saturday 11 September 2010 14:57

tell her she got my email wrong and she needs to resend the photos.

Reply

max1337 | 0

#1388002 - Saturday 11 September 2010 17:20

Fake and Gay. Pics or it didnt happen.

Reply

saywhaaat_01 | 0

#1388316 - Saturday 11 September 2010 18:41

lol

Reply

thegoodlife101 | 0

#1388385 - Saturday 11 September 2010 19:03

win.

Reply

aekkoukla | 0

#1388549 - Saturday 11 September 2010 20:08

lol:)

Reply

katecookieface | 0

#1388701 - Saturday 11 September 2010 21:29

WIN.

Reply

bobmandude | 0

#1391164 - Sunday 12 September 2010 5:22

Jizz in His Pants.

Reply

bryttkneee | 0

#1394205 - Sunday 12 September 2010 18:48

well it was time for a new pic to put on the Christmas postcards.

Reply

daflyinhawaiian | 0

#1396074 - Monday 13 September 2010 3:49

lol. naughty list

Reply

tweetbaby14 | 17

#1401285 - Tuesday 14 September 2010 1:23

you take nude pics with nothing on except for certain things OP!? you gotta be shittin me!

Reply

BLEUSKEETER | 0

#1403361 - Tuesday 14 September 2010 10:14

JUSTiN BEiBER?

Reply

xLonelyStonerx | 0

#1424507 - Sunday 19 September 2010 2:11

Win ^^

Reply

stunner_steph | 0

#1463204 - Monday 27 September 2010 8:16

ur moms clearly awesome

By IsabellaC | 0

#1384592 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:25

what a hoe!

Reply

BakNBitz | 0

#1386025 - Saturday 11 September 2010 5:12

She's a nice lady!!!!

Reply

airforce987 | 20

#1386201 - Saturday 11 September 2010 6:12

How dare you, she's a nice lady!
- Allen from the Hangover

Reply

husky88 | 1

#1386786 - Saturday 11 September 2010 9:45

he's jacking his little wienus

Reply

hugopz | 0

#1387323 - Saturday 11 September 2010 14:16

lol

Reply

MadamGeek | 0

#1417897 - Friday 17 September 2010 7:46

LOL

Reply

draegbomb | 5

#4071015 - Wednesday 22 February 2012 5:25

Hoe Hoe Hoe!! Merry Christmas!!

By Chrisskiies | 0

#1384619 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:30

Lol^^

Milf!!!!!

By xxkerry | 0

#1384621 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:30

^^ haha that sucks though

Reply

starile | 19

#1385416 - Saturday 11 September 2010 2:26

That ROCKS, actually!

By xxkerry | 0

#1384623 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:30

^^ haha that sucks though

By Maladjusted1 | 0

#1384625 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:31

Did you join..?

By Rob207 | 3

#1384628 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:32

post them up

By Chaith | 16

#1384635 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:35

It's SEPTEMBER

By Juneyah1017 | 9

#1384646 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:37

it's September wdf! lmao. if you guys live in a windy city like Chicago or somthing then I'll understand.
Bow-chicka-wow-wow! :)

Reply

moltencandy | 0

#1384867 - Saturday 11 September 2010 0:36

brown chicken brown cow...

Reply

FMLephant | 2

#1385055 - Saturday 11 September 2010 1:20

somebody's hungry

Reply

starile | 19

#1385429 - Saturday 11 September 2010 2:28

Um, Chicago or not, it STILL wouldn't make any sense. Does Christmas occur in September in windy cities? Here I thought it was always in December.

Reply

nbjohnson | 0

#1386789 - Saturday 11 September 2010 9:46

lol 59 don't worry, I was under that same impression...

Reply

caliangel | 0

#1386957 - Saturday 11 September 2010 10:35

Lmao @ 45!!

By thatonedame | 6

#1384650 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:37

disturbing. and entirely out of season.