Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself... - FML

By meikd423 - 10/9/2010 16:36 - France

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML

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Understandable

Nice neighborhood

Who's a good boy?

By Anonymous - 4/5/2009 12:37 - Canada

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me because he loves toilets. Everyone was sleeping so I went pee but didnt flush. My cat jumped onto the seat and fell in. I had to lift him out and then wash him. He hates water though, so I was scratched by my cat who was dripping with my own pee. FML

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By Faluna - 17/2/2011 21:27 - Sweden

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 21:03 - Australia - Perth

Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/12/2010 00:20 - United States

Today, I was going through my mom's old yearbook. There was a page long note from her friend talking about my mother's crazy drunk sex stories and describing multiple sexual encounters she had while on a pool table. I am deeply scarred forever. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

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By Me - 20/12/2016 01:40 - United States - Canyon Lake

Today, while reading out loud in front of my entire class and teacher, I learned that I can't pronounce the word 'success'. It came out as 'sex', and when I tried to correct myself more slowly (multiple times), it came out 'sexsex'. FML

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By Alyssa - 21/3/2012 01:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

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By silenceisgolden - 23/3/2020 01:39

Train guy

Today, a guy on the train was using his phone really loudly, asking Siri to call a bunch of people, or using voice command to do the most menial things. He was really, really noisy. It's only after I couldn't stand it any more and asked him to be quieter that I noticed the white cane next to him. FML

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By Jimbo - 25/5/2010 09:29 - United States

Today, I came home on leave after a seven month deployment in the middle of the ocean for the Navy. My entire region got hit by the worst flood in recorded history. I need a speedboat to go to the Quick-e-mart. FML

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By worried - 1/4/2010 08:28 - Ireland

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

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By HM - 6/4/2011 17:28 - Germany

Today, I found out that my entire class, me included, has to rewrite the painfully difficult midterm we wrote last week. All this because the Professor left the exams strewn across her desk. The cleaners thought it was trash and disposed of them. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/11/2019 05:00

A beautiful truck decoration

Today, someone threw a sausage roll in my truck, but I ignored it because I was about to start a 2 day round trip. 6 hours later, I stopped for coffee. I have seen that it was a massive dildo, the ones with a suction cup on the base. The suction cup had stuck the massive dildo in the door for 6 hours and 200 miles. FML

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By unit - 7/7/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I finally got around to organizing my closet. Discarded clothes fell into three distinct categories: Too Small, Yellow Pits, Stained with Food. FML

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By Miss<Younger>Beyoncé - 13/10/2014 08:13 - Namibia - Windhoek

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

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By Kristat - 1/4/2012 04:32 - United States

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

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By Muffinhater - 24/12/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

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By kaybax - 19/11/2011 11:42 - South Africa

Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML

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By ;_; - 19/12/2013 22:13 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I saw a guy in the street drawing caricatures, and I decided to pay him to do one of me. Being a caricature, I looked pretty monstrous in it. When I showed it to my mum later, she shuddered and said, "Yeah, looks just like you." FML

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By PocketTrash - 20/3/2020 21:00

This guy grudges

Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML

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By rollerSWEETness - 3/6/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

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By ripped - 7/9/2016 14:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML

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By anonymous - 1/4/2012 18:38 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

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By allennn - 14/3/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

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By blah - 21/7/2011 14:10 - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/6/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, my parents found my stash of alcohol. They drank it all within a single evening. FML

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By dormlyfe - 24/9/2015 02:23 - United States - Moraga

Today, I met new people at my dorm, only to find they already knew me because they listen to my boyfriend and me have sex all the time. FML

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By Pauper - 11/1/2010 07:20 - United States

Today, I talked myself out of buying $1 candle at the Dollar Tree. That's how broke I am. FML

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By Bishop - 6/6/2012 14:19

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

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By itendstonight - 9/8/2009 12:42 - Ireland

Today, it was my turn to have the trophy my baseball team won a few weeks ago. I then find out that my brother and his buddies thought it would be funny to fill the trophy up with beer, drink the beer, and then pee in it. Not only is it over 50yrs old, it stinks of pee and is due back tomorrow. FML

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By sufia - 29/9/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

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By Parental Support - 30/8/2013 04:11 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, I found out I was 13th in a graduating class of about 350 students. When I told my mother, without batting an eye, she told me, "Hey, shit floats". FML

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By Anonymous - 1/7/2015 18:56

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

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By sirswank - 10/8/2017 13:00

Today, after giving my kids a lengthy bedtime lecture about the merits of being responsible, I thought about all the chores I had left to do, promptly ate ice cream in the shower, and went to bed. FML

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By not my bf anymore - 5/11/2015 21:15 - United States

Today, I found out that my new boyfriend is a "Men's Rights Activist". FML

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By [email protected] - 28/9/2014 15:30 - United Kingdom - Watford

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/6/2020 05:01

Friends theme music plays

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

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By blonde moment - 23/6/2019 14:23

Today, while talking to a friend, I momentarily forgot the word for archery and instead called it, “Bow-and-Arrow Jutsu.” FML

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By Anonymous - 5/4/2013 16:26 - United States

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/7/2013 05:19 - United States

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

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By GamerAM - 27/6/2019 22:23

Today, after over a week of trying to get a hold of my doctor for a much-needed medication refill, he finally called back. Too bad my phone got unplugged and died in the middle of the night. FML

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Top comments

By timmy455 | 0

#1384583 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:22

that's hot

By IsabellaC | 0

#1384592 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:25

what a hoe!

COMMENTS

By timmy455 | 0

#1384583 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:22

that's hot

Reply

karlita22 | 0

#1384586 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:23

ohhh my god!!! your lífe totally sucks!!!

Reply

hockeyplayer82 | 0

#1384644 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:37

pics or it didn't happen. I KNOW THERE IS SOME SOMEWHERE

Reply

w2z1 | 0

#1384672 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:43

Merry Christmas.

Reply

pinkpillowz | 0

#1384703 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:53

I saw mama sexting santa clause!!!

Reply

xxroseyxx | 0

#1384839 - Saturday 11 September 2010 0:24

haha your hot ... maybe... I dunno. haha but talk about AWKWARD?!

Reply

SmallTownCutie | 0

#1384943 - Saturday 11 September 2010 1:05

sexxxy(;

Reply

fatty_in_cali | 0

#1385069 - Saturday 11 September 2010 1:21

I want copies of the pics

Reply

EmmyGrangerDC | 0

#1385152 - Saturday 11 September 2010 1:34

I'd understand her room, but the KITCHEN? That's probably the most used room in the house!

Reply

tashawoods | 0

#1385286 - Saturday 11 September 2010 1:58

well your mums a skank. what mother does that? yeah whatever loads probs do, but in the kitchen when her kids are home? right.. mm does she have a bedroom or is she some sick twisted mum? :)

Reply

JZhang91 | 0

#1385371 - Saturday 11 September 2010 2:13

i sense /s/ 4chan fail

Reply

jaybird9 | 0

#1385607 - Saturday 11 September 2010 3:13

hahaaa ewwwww !

Reply

Jizwold | 0

#1385649 - Saturday 11 September 2010 3:26

I guess I shouldn't complain but wats with all the girls on fml lately?

Reply

rushiee | 0

#1385747 - Saturday 11 September 2010 3:48

whats with the dissapearence of guys? (:
haha

Reply

BallinJ | 0

#1385795 - Saturday 11 September 2010 4:02

post tits or gtfo

Reply

suprmidgt | 0

#1385840 - Saturday 11 September 2010 4:16

or maybe no on was home when he started and op came home early. either way that's awesome!

Reply

pooponyuou | 0

#1385852 - Saturday 11 September 2010 4:19

wht? it's not even Christmas yet!

Reply

berrenduh | 0

#1386086 - Saturday 11 September 2010 5:34

she should at least have the decency to do it in the bedroom

Reply

Renesaga | 8

#1386205 - Saturday 11 September 2010 6:13

She was taking those pictures for me. They're in the kitchen because immediately afterwards she was ordered to make me a sandwich.

Reply

shortstuff9519 | 0

#1386731 - Saturday 11 September 2010 9:34

milf

Reply

ComMed1 | 0

#1387405 - Saturday 11 September 2010 14:57

tell her she got my email wrong and she needs to resend the photos.

Reply

max1337 | 0

#1388002 - Saturday 11 September 2010 17:20

Fake and Gay. Pics or it didnt happen.

Reply

saywhaaat_01 | 0

#1388316 - Saturday 11 September 2010 18:41

lol

Reply

thegoodlife101 | 0

#1388385 - Saturday 11 September 2010 19:03

win.

Reply

aekkoukla | 0

#1388549 - Saturday 11 September 2010 20:08

lol:)

Reply

katecookieface | 0

#1388701 - Saturday 11 September 2010 21:29

WIN.

Reply

bobmandude | 0

#1391164 - Sunday 12 September 2010 5:22

Jizz in His Pants.

Reply

bryttkneee | 0

#1394205 - Sunday 12 September 2010 18:48

well it was time for a new pic to put on the Christmas postcards.

Reply

daflyinhawaiian | 0

#1396074 - Monday 13 September 2010 3:49

lol. naughty list

Reply

tweetbaby14 | 17

#1401285 - Tuesday 14 September 2010 1:23

you take nude pics with nothing on except for certain things OP!? you gotta be shittin me!

Reply

BLEUSKEETER | 0

#1403361 - Tuesday 14 September 2010 10:14

JUSTiN BEiBER?

Reply

xLonelyStonerx | 0

#1424507 - Sunday 19 September 2010 2:11

Win ^^

Reply

stunner_steph | 0

#1463204 - Monday 27 September 2010 8:16

ur moms clearly awesome

By IsabellaC | 0

#1384592 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:25

what a hoe!

Reply

BakNBitz | 0

#1386025 - Saturday 11 September 2010 5:12

She's a nice lady!!!!

Reply

airforce987 | 20

#1386201 - Saturday 11 September 2010 6:12

How dare you, she's a nice lady!
- Allen from the Hangover

Reply

husky88 | 1

#1386786 - Saturday 11 September 2010 9:45

he's jacking his little wienus

Reply

hugopz | 0

#1387323 - Saturday 11 September 2010 14:16

lol

Reply

MadamGeek | 0

#1417897 - Friday 17 September 2010 7:46

LOL

Reply

draegbomb | 5

#4071015 - Wednesday 22 February 2012 5:25

Hoe Hoe Hoe!! Merry Christmas!!

By Chrisskiies | 0

#1384619 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:30

Lol^^

Milf!!!!!

By xxkerry | 0

#1384621 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:30

^^ haha that sucks though

Reply

starile | 19

#1385416 - Saturday 11 September 2010 2:26

That ROCKS, actually!

By xxkerry | 0

#1384623 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:30

^^ haha that sucks though

By Maladjusted1 | 0

#1384625 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:31

Did you join..?

By Rob207 | 3

#1384628 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:32

post them up

By Chaith | 16

#1384635 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:35

It's SEPTEMBER

By Juneyah1017 | 9

#1384646 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:37

it's September wdf! lmao. if you guys live in a windy city like Chicago or somthing then I'll understand.
Bow-chicka-wow-wow! :)

Reply

moltencandy | 0

#1384867 - Saturday 11 September 2010 0:36

brown chicken brown cow...

Reply

FMLephant | 2

#1385055 - Saturday 11 September 2010 1:20

somebody's hungry

Reply

starile | 19

#1385429 - Saturday 11 September 2010 2:28

Um, Chicago or not, it STILL wouldn't make any sense. Does Christmas occur in September in windy cities? Here I thought it was always in December.

Reply

nbjohnson | 0

#1386789 - Saturday 11 September 2010 9:46

lol 59 don't worry, I was under that same impression...

Reply

caliangel | 0

#1386957 - Saturday 11 September 2010 10:35

Lmao @ 45!!

By thatonedame | 6

#1384650 - Friday 10 September 2010 23:37

disturbing. and entirely out of season.