By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 997
You deserved it 8 506

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Top comments

Hopefully it wasn't a banana

At least it wasn't apple pie.

Comments

Mmmm warm cantaloupe!!

what kind of car is that in your picture?

Ford gt 500 off topic a little don't ya think? Try the pm service next time.

Well don't just stand there! Grab a banana and join the fun!

Just got wet over 19's car. Not going to fuck some fruit though. That shits messed.

As long as it's not a pineapple it's ok..

pinnapples are yummy

Not post-coital ones. They're nasty.

Overpowered, as in "omfg, That guy just killed me. That shit is totally OP *rage rage*"

83- I beg to differ.

40- you got giant breasts. Just had to say it.

101, and you, sir, are a giant prick. Just had to say it.

*smack* shoulda had a V8!

Double penetration- banana style

That would be a bad time to find out he's allergic

Oh hey honey... I read on the Internet you could make grapes more ripe by inserting them in my urethra. Want one? They taste great!

Women wellders are hot!!! :-)

Best. Fml. Ever.

So I take it you won't have sex with him yourself?

I bet she was apple-d (apalled) by what she saw He was g-raping that poor fruit

#242.... Major fail!

Well fruit are actually ripened ovaries, so....

At least it wasn't apple pie.

You are too young to know that!!!

Did the fruit orgasm? Or...

#49 Hes 15. Whats the problem?

if you didn't notice, it doesn't say whether op is a girl o guy, so he could be gay, and the fruit could be a cucumber.

Then you'd have yet another sexual definition of "cream pie." Only it's an actual pie. |the kid|

American pie

Exactly like the part in American pie when the dude has sex with an apple pie :P lol maybe he saw the movie and got motivated??

Where does it say it was pie.. Dumbass

It was a movie referance.. Dumbass.

All I saw was sherminator fucking a grape fruit when I read this fml.

Hopefully it wasn't a banana

Or a lemon, the acidity of the juice on his junk

Is banana even possible?

17, what three meant was that OP's bf would have been using the banana as a dildo, say, if he were using one. Although, if you slice the skin of a banana down the middle, then empty out the inside of the banana, you could use it like that. Just flop your dick in and off you go.

I've always wanted to try that

35 - Personal experience...? Or just a random "fact" you found on Google?

64-Don't, it can break inside you.

No it was a pineapple.

If you have ever seen Weeds on HBO you would know how to use a banana lol!

Um, how old are you 17?

104, I think I've seen it in a movie. Not sure which one though. All I know is I've heard it somewhere.

for a guy? yes. a guy has a place too._.

'Just flop your dick in and off you go' - best line ever #35

it smells better than your vajayjay maybe?

He probably listens to painkilleralready :D

Was the fruit exotic?

At least it wasn't a pie. Like in American pie. Now comes the bogus, American Fruit !

He'd rather have a fruit then you?

Nope, he's just trying to get in to his 5 a day.

*than (unless you mean like he's fucking fruit then his gf)

I'm actually thinking OP should put out more.

time for u to make a substitution

Well did you go grab a banana and have a threesome?

It'd be a foursome.

Someone can't count.

actually it would be a foursome two people plus two pieces of fruit makes 4 but it was a dumb comment

i just realized 67 was talking to the person who commented not the person who said foursome I thumb down my own comment and weep

Actually that'd make it four since the banana and her are joining in. :p

It's ok, 256, go back to sleep.

Nice melons... :0

Ok i'm gonna let you in on something. You could have just commented on 6's thread.

um... thanks... i think?

We all get curious...

Not that damn curious!!! Hopefully, he isn't curious as to how it feels to have sex in traffic, on the road.

No... No we don't :)

Come on, OP, be more specific about the piece of fruit. Was it an apple? Grapefruit? Lemons? A coconut? You can't hold important information like that behind.

Durian, maybe? To remind him of his carefree teenage days when he masturbated into old socks.

What's op mean??

IT WAS A GRAPE!!!

#50: oh my gosh, before you get wicked responses..OP really means original poster, which was the person who submitted the FML :)

Don't lie #60 we all know OP means old pooper

#50 It means "OPTIMUS PRIME"

Agreed. We need some more information. Like was he successful?!

I thought OP meant Ostentatious Panda.

It must have been a jackfruit.

No, it's Orange Panther

Ostentatious Pony. Alternatly, Obvious Prat.

It was a peach; soft and fuzzy on the outside wet and squishy on the inside.

You are all wrong, it was a Papaya! ;)

It was a tomato

millions of peaches , peaches for me ...

Original poster

Obeism Practitioner

Obese Platypus?

It wasn't until I reached the end of the comments before I got the octopus penis joke

Orangatang Penis