By loveinanelevator - 13/02/2012 12:03

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 488
You deserved it 2 681

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Sorry man, hope you feel better soon.

Looks like your not doing anal anytime soon


Sorry man, hope you feel better soon.

Gotta love chain reactions. Can't wait to hear what the meds did to you.

3 months later: Long story short, my cat died, I never found my car and I have super aids.

At least it wasnt the other way around.... An infected hemorrhoid gave you diarrhea, which gave you the urge to poison some food.

And by a "bad sandwich" you mean McDonalds right?

I hope your asshole feels better soon

Law of Syllogism?

But I bet the sandwich was delicious.

Maybe the sandwich was from a fast food place like McDonald's. Probably the person who made the sandwich didn't wash their hands.

That's what I'm thinking, 22. In all my years, I've only twice had food poisoning at home, and it was from food contaminated before it reached my kitchen. Every other time it has been from eating out. After I got it at a reputable restaurant, I stopped going out to eat completely. Now I'm more than happy to prepare all my meals myself and know exactly what's in them and what they've been in contact with.

I cook all my food with wheat grass and hemp too.

I cook all my food with weed!

Sounds like a shitty situation.

^Most over-used pun ever!!! Let the thumbs down begin! Op, that's horrible.. Feel better soon!

No shit Sherlock.

Then keep digging Watson!

I think we need to append the rules of FML with a special section of banned puns.

Just gtfo man.

Looks like your not doing anal anytime soon

It's a guy. Unless he's gay, I don't think he'll be doing anal anyway.

Thanks Captain Obvious

bitchslapped all the comment I have seen you make suck.

Oh, you mean anal?

Bitchslapped, you just got bitch slapped.

Been there, done that. It took a month to heal and yes, in that time anal was out of the question. Sucks to be you, sorry.

It's at 69 thums up let's keep it like that

Love in an elevator? Perhaps you're doing it wrong?

It's a song. An awesome song.

You ate one of those gas station sandwiches didn't you?

In the future, eating one of those is a good thing because then you get worms that repair your body and make you stronger.

An egg salad sandwich especially.

With black crunchy tomatoes.

Totally worth it!

What kind of sandwich was it? That sucks! Btw, docbastardo is a loser. :)

Your description says that you're 39 years old and you "eat, work, party, play, beach it, and laugh." Okay dude.

Ahh, good. This "docbastardo" is obviously a loser. That failure of a spanish brother of DocBastard. Who needs him...

You are just fishing for an argument, saying 'docbastardo' sucks literally had nothing to do with this FML or previous comments on this FML. You are 39, act like it instead of the 14 year old kids on here that make stupid comments just so someone will comment back.

19 - we all know that when we are 39, we wish we could have all those wonderful things...... I believe he's a straight shooter....

I seldom get an actual laugh at a comment. This gave me an actual laugh, mostly because the last time Pepelepew tried to troll me, his comment got moderated. I sincerely hope the mods don't moderate this one so everyone can see what an immature idiot this guy is. You're 39 years old, and you're making stupid comments and holding a grudge like a bratty little child. It's really quite pathetic.

70 - when you said "we all know that when we are 39..." i thought you were going to make a step brothers reference because of your pic

Better have been a fucking amazing sandwich.