By IPityTheStool - 09/06/2011 13:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 415
You deserved it 7 582

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lol I can't believe OP didn't find it awkward

Real English uses s, American English uses z. We say apologise, you say apologize. Get an education.

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lol I can't believe OP didn't find it awkward

Next assignment! Converse with me as I defecate! What does "defecate" mean? VOCABULARY HOMEWORK!

OP: means to discharge feces from the anal cavity. teacher: good. teacher: what does staff restroom mean?

staff room means that it was busy so you had to come take a shit here?

you could use that moment to blackmail her ad get no homework for her class and get 100% on all her homework :D

YES that would make perfect sense, considering you have no leverage. what are you going to say " I'll tell everyone you pooped, if I dont get an A " common grow up a bit

Annnnddd..WHY did you use the staff toilet in the first place? That's why students have their own bathrooms.

student bathrooms r dirty i would have used staff to

What? No "that's a shitty situation" puns?

That's a crap trap. There, I remixed it.

I used to use the staff bathrooms in highschool

for those who are saying blackmail her it's against the damn law

their not that good of a teacher.....since OP clearly cant spell "apologiZe"

137, OP is from the UK. We spell things differently.

137- ..and you obviously didn't have a great teacher either, since it's 'they're', retard.

diarrhea and apologize.. it seems like everyone who uses fml has terrible grammar and spelling

wow... UK has different spelling. come on guys...

in england we spell it apologise.... different places = different spellings/sayings

it takes two to converse. YDI!!!

My thoughts exactly. Just be like "Your foul stench has struck the words from my mouth, and I refuse to partake in any form of conversing. Good day!"

or just stay quiet and not engage in any form of "shit talking"... lolz

more like ydi for using the staff bathroom when your a student..

#2, It doesn't always take two for a conversation.

OP didn't even have to respond, it's not like there's etiquette rules for inter-stall bathroom conversations...

a little schizophrenic are we?

Urnm.. If you're insinuating it was awkward, why keep chatting?

How would you end the conversation? "Um sorry miss but I have been constipated for a while and I'm trying to focus." "Sorry and where's your respect? Don't call me miss call me by my full name" "Sorry Mrs. Assypants." FYI my name is Mr.Sassypants but since my name gets confused I thought I'll put it into my stupid story. :/

The teacher tried to make a deal with OP not to tell anyone about this and she would give her extra credit. OP obviously did not accept.

Well if there is a kid named "anyone" that doesn't go on FML than OP still might get extra credit. I ruin everything.

That logic is pretty sound Assypants.

i bet he didnt give a shit XD

44 Hey! What you called me yo? JK 8) 45 Don't you mean shat? Zing! Nevermind...

Mr. Sassypants, I can hook you up with some coupons for comedy lessons if you'd like.

75 ha thanks but I'm not really trying to be funny, just silly... and a little bit of dumbass.

Well the dumbass part is working great,..

130 lqtm ha thanks.

She's got a potty mouth... :)

Who breathes with the nose in a public toilet?!

How is this an FML? "someone pooped in the bathroom, then apologized. I then talked to him." YDI, brotha, YDI

I agree, this isn't really an FML... then again, it's not pleasant either.

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Real English uses s, American English uses z. We say apologise, you say apologize. Get an education.

I wonder why we spell stuff differently in America... I would be fine with UK spellings.

obviously you don't know much about other countries.

After the revolutionary war you changed the spellings to make a conscious break from your association with the uk. It's not just spelling either, we say crisps meaning chips, our chips are your french fries, you say sidewalk we say pavement. Your suspenders are our braces, our suspenders are your garters. It's great fun to learn about!

It's amazing how ignorant people are.

What's a garter?

Wow, you retard! They spell apologize like "apologise" in England! Go get an education!

there is no "real" and "fake", just different dialects. get some manners. :)

#6- Go to your room.

I thougt someone was most likely to say "diarrhoea" is misspelled and say it is "diarrhea" but looks like someone attacked "apologise". Probably because no one wants to attack diarrhoea. 8)

Obviously you fail at life if you don't know UK English has different spellings from American English.

so you only cared about how the person spelled apologize? that's not the real problem here! :P

it's not that amazing how ignorant some people are. you can't expect everyone to know everything. just correct them and move on with your life. no need to insult them too!

Somehow I knew to read this in my British accent.

Love your enthusiasm about education! Yes, I'm serious.

This isn't an FML; it's an amusing episode in the life of a student. I didn't feel bad for the OP. Instead, I smiled.

how could you still talk while being surrounded by the awful stench.

once my teacher even fart in the washroom..

Oh nooo, tell us more about it please.

also, what the hell are you doing in the staff bathroom if you're a student? YDI x2

Her school may not have staff bathrooms. My high school didn't.

But it says she used the staff toilets :/