By Boredom - 26/01/2009 21:09 - United States

Spicy
Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 704
You deserved it 75 489

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Gravity - you fought the law, and the law won.

wait-wtf? why is barely anyone messing with this guy about an attempt at giving himself a blowjob, that's...friggen disgusting..wth? some of you even ask how to do it and ..wtf?! Well.. i'm only 15..so i woudn't know..but jebus guys, what the blazing balls.

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Would you not be considered gay for sucking a dick, even your own?

No, it would be considered masterbation.

No it's considered gross and seriously wrong.

i dont get why any guy says this, i would never suck my own dick cause thats just fucked up

Wow, I wish I loved myself that much. Relationships are honestly awesome, though...You're willing to give up intimacy, a cuddle buddy, and a best friend? Being able to pleasure myself orally would pale in comparison.

Lilu01's right, it is possible... if you have surgery to have a couple of your ribs removed or are hung like a horse.

u would know......lol jk

nah, it's totally possible if it big and flexible enough. google it.

Somewhere up in the sky, Newton is laughing and saying I told you so. :P

Aha, you fill me with happiness my sweet walrus.

Disregard #150, you really don't want to Google that...

Gravity - you fought the law, and the law won.

Wooo clash quote. =]

The Clash didn't write that song.

I have been able to do it....couldnt do much, but did a little bit, didnt do much for me though since I was the one doing it, its like rubbing your own back, it doesnt feel as good to do it yourself...

You make me feel sick

Like women dont try to lick their own vag

they dont...if u wont use a man u got fingers...y would u lick ur own? guys have problems o.0 O.P. GET A GIRL!! buy 1 if u have to ;)

no, we dnt, cause its sick, yuck

that's really talented and hottt, how big is ur junk?

It's more like masturbation... It's not really gay...

wait-wtf? why is barely anyone messing with this guy about an attempt at giving himself a blowjob, that's...friggen disgusting..wth? some of you even ask how to do it and ..wtf?! Well.. i'm only 15..so i woudn't know..but jebus guys, what the blazing balls.

ur 15 nd u don't jack off? I'm a girl but my guy friends hav admitted to masturbating since 7th grade. it used to gross me out but whatever floats their boats I guess...

Don't tell me you've never tried it, or though about it before. Because every male over the age of 13 has. Fact.

Never done it, because it's stupid as hell!

Seriously watch Nip/Tuck the episode Manny Skerritt. Hilarious. Goes along the lines of what happened to you; only he succeeded.

I used to be able to lick the head, but the best I've ever gotten is just a quick little suck on the head- nothing to blow a load over there's a competition at this camp my friend goes to every year- whoever wins is declared the owner of the longest penis

makes sense wouldn't he be most flexible not owner of the biggest dick? if you wanna know whose is biggest just whip it out and examine save trying to blow yourself off

That camp... It seems slightly gay...

#16, just by your AGE you're obviously not qualified to make much commentary on this, and your comment proves it. As to the OP- better luck next time, fella.

HAHAHAHA @ #4 and #21

You ARE #21... Did I miss something here?

Lol...Too Much Nip/Tuck!!! =P