Intimacy: Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 97

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 72

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 37

04/12/2009 12:48

Spicy

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 238

You deserved it 6 813

Mama's boy

BO Central

Best teeth in the game

02/12/2018 20:00

Today, I called my husband's mistress to confront her. Her husband answered and immediately began hitting on me. He asked what was taking me so long to join their circle and if I was as into dp as his wife is. I don’t know whether to vomit from rage or disgust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 285

You deserved it 569

04/02/2010 10:47

Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 721

You deserved it 16 723

29/05/2009 04:08

Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 716

You deserved it 8 587

07/11/2011 01:23

Today, I had to endure yet another evening of the old man in the apartment above me screaming, "No, I don't want to shave my nose hair, you crazy bitch." He lives alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 253

You deserved it 2 351

28/07/2009 19:41

Today, everyone at work commented on how much better my new haircut looked and how I should keep styling it this way as it's such an improvement over my old style. I was late for work this morning. My new hair style was Bed hair that I didn't have time to sort out... FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 715

You deserved it 8 020

09/07/2012 21:26

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 033

You deserved it 23 428

15/11/2010 20:32

Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 773

You deserved it 3 154

17/12/2013 01:50

Today, I got kicked out of my band by the guy who quit two weeks ago. The bad part? Everyone else agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 708

You deserved it 4 314

12/07/2017 21:31

Today, my apartment was flooded due to a broken pipe, which caused a huge family of cockroaches to disperse. Did you know they can fly? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 862

You deserved it 321

30/08/2010 02:02

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 423

You deserved it 7 127

10/09/2012 02:12

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 447

You deserved it 3 247

Hoarded in

By nola2005 - 01/10/2019 00:01

Today, as my gaze went from the cobwebs hanging from my ceiling to the opened and unopened Amazon boxes in the corners of my house, I realized I'm on my way to being a hoarder. I'm too tired and depressed to do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 468

19/11/2011 08:40

Today, my boss phoned me and asked me why I wasn't at work. I was in the staff room. I said hello to her as I came in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 730

You deserved it 2 616

12/11/2015 21:21

Today, I went to the doctor for the second time, because I've had a cough for about six weeks. In my first appointment, the nurse said it was just allergies and condescendingly gave me a brochure with a recipe for salt water. Turns out it's pneumonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 976

You deserved it 1 633

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05

Spicy

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 022

You deserved it 7 075

I did your mom

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 16:01

Spicy

Today, I foolishly asked my dad why he had a disability rail fitted, not in his bathroom next to the toilet, but above his bed instead. He told me that with his bad joints, he needs something to grab onto on Saturday nights while he’s plowing my mom doggy style. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 655

01/11/2009 22:18

Spicy

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 613

You deserved it 5 636

07/06/2016 01:58

Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 403

You deserved it 1 067

Still better than the Cats movie

By dirty deeds - 31/05/2020 14:00

Today, my brother’s cat pissed on my brand new bed. He refuses to replace the mattress, and claims it wasn’t his cat. We only have one cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 382

You deserved it 131

16/02/2012 23:30

Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 020

You deserved it 3 114

06/03/2014 00:36

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 876

You deserved it 18 694

30/06/2016 19:35

Today, I have put in many job applications and had many interviews for a variety of positions all of which I am highly qualified for. Today, I heard back from all but one that I am overqualified. Welcome to Walmart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 485

You deserved it 926

27/05/2015 16:25

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 327

You deserved it 3 390

20/06/2009 03:17

Today, I went to a restaurant and only brought $14 with me to eat. I ordered and ate my meal, then went to the counter to pay for it. I threw $2 into the tip jar then got my bill. My bill was $13.86. I had to reach into the tip jar and take my $2 back so I could pay for my meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 270

You deserved it 55 939

14/02/2012 18:14

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 098

You deserved it 3 444

Awkwaaaaaaard

By Zoe Avila - 09/08/2011 22:55

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 819

You deserved it 9 039

23/05/2009 04:03

Today, a little girl at work was coloring a picture that said "Best Dad" on it. Wanting to be nice I asked her if she was making it for her dad for father's day. She looked at me with a sad face and said, "I don't have a dad..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 848

You deserved it 6 855

10/03/2015 22:38

Today, I was stopped in the grocery store by a stranger, who berated me, quite loudly, for going out in public in my pajamas. I had just gotten off work and was wearing scrubs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 276

You deserved it 2 294

12/05/2016 03:13

Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 997

You deserved it 1 038

01/02/2010 07:31

Spicy

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 414

You deserved it 2 643

17/04/2015 15:27

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 815

You deserved it 5 417

17/09/2017 13:00

Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 467

You deserved it 349

01/12/2018 13:00

Today, my ex from high school is married and has kids but still found time to make yet another fake profile to berate me for cheating on him when we were 17. I've already blocked him, moved states, and changed my number twice. We're in our 30s. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 3 401

You deserved it 1 475

Are you calling me a fatass?

By Asl94 - 16/01/2021 05:01

Today, my mom asked me what I wanted as a gift, so I said a Cricut machine. She replied, "You don’t need exercise equipment, you need to eat healthier." A Cricut is a sticker maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 109

04/09/2014 04:46

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 058

You deserved it 3 463

12/08/2012 17:25

Today, I found out that ever since I got my blonde highlights, I've been mocked behind my back at work, and nicknamed "The Skunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 821

You deserved it 13 385

06/06/2017 18:00

Today, in my excitement to make some new cards for the postcard exchange I take part in, I apparently spilled my bottle of glue directly into the bag that contains my entire postcard collection. I didn't notice until several hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 593

You deserved it 571

29/10/2011 07:22

Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 470

You deserved it 3 085

09/01/2012 04:07

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 359

You deserved it 3 353

30/10/2011 01:34

Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 676

You deserved it 44 047

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 20:40

I want to see the pic before I say FYL or YDI

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 23:01

That's when you call him up, fake fear, and say "I think there's someone in the house with me..."

Comments

bubblybrooke 12

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 20:09

ew...

Send a private message

Tuesday 27 April 2010 0:27

ydi for being a whore

Bag3l 0

Send a private message

Friday 18 June 2010 2:05

it's probs her shadow fatass

Send a private message

Saturday 3 September 2011 18:15

Maybe it was just a poster of some guy on her wall

ManlyDunsparce 3

Send a private message

Tuesday 24 January 2012 18:25

I say, how crude of a body she must have. Poor guy. Oh. And poor OP. FYL

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 20:12

you has one hairy ass

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 20:29

ydi for having a hairy ass and back

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 20:40

I want to see the pic before I say FYL or YDI

Send a private message

Friday 5 February 2010 6:51

lol same

Send a private message

Tuesday 21 October 2014 19:23

Agreed...not because she's naked..to make sure boyfriend isn't a noon and can't recognize his gf naked body...which one do you believe lol...

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 21:05

We're gonna need to see the pic to determine if there is actually a guy.

perdix 29

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 21:39

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Send a private message

Friday 11 June 2010 0:45

sorry but youre coming off as a bit of a dick

Send a private message

Sunday 12 June 2011 3:38

agreed :/

RubieTuesdayT 0

Send a private message

Thursday 7 July 2011 17:18

u just tried way to hard to be funny

Send a private message

Sunday 21 August 2011 7:36

yeah that was just really mean

elgordito_fml 0

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 21:44

haha,lol YDI for being hairy, but i would still f*** U!

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 21:51

awwws sorry

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 22:17

so who was he?

chrisinator13 5

Send a private message

Friday 4 December 2009 22:46

yeah who was the guy?