Health: Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them,... - FML

By Ishikur - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I tried to explain autism to my classmates. One of them, a professional cunt who's always looking for an excuse to lecture people, accused me of being "ableist" because my explanations weren't accurate, and said I shouldn't explain things I don't understand. I'm actually autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25404

You deserved it

1623

Tweet

Share

Season finale

Night terrors

Crushed

By helpme - United States - Annapolis

Today, I started dreaming about being at work. I already work more hours a week than I requested, and I live right across from my work and can see it out my window. I can never leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23290

You deserved it

2080

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my parents' for the first time in months. Upon my arrival, I found out that I won't be spending the day with them because they've taken a car trip to attend a Sarah Palin book signing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31259

You deserved it

6055

Tweet

Share

By shanson - United States - San Antonio

Today, my mother lectured me for not spending enough time with her. We literally just got back from a 10 day vacation together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10650

You deserved it

814

Tweet

Share

By pandora - Israel - Palmahim

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28454

You deserved it

5051

Tweet

Share

By izzy

Today, my sister told me she is getting married and asked me to be the Co-Maid of Honor. Who is the first maid of honor? Her cat. She is serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4204

You deserved it

433

Tweet

Share

By TJFuentes - United States - Appleton

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38223

You deserved it

3736

Tweet

Share

By onlychild - United States

Today, my sister is working on her graduation speech. She gives her thanks to one friend for helping support her through school, like, "The sister I never had". FML

I agree, your life sucks

41204

You deserved it

4515

Tweet

Share

By nevergettingajob - Canada

Today, after handing in my resume to get a part-time job, I tried leaving, but the door wouldn't open. It was the "in" door. The person I gave my resume to had to slowly explain this to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10033

You deserved it

25770

Tweet

Share

By QuinnyZebrass - United States - Laveen

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48682

You deserved it

3402

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/1/2021 22:59

Woman DESTROYS her sex life with FACTS and some sort of LOGIC

Today, I'm horny as hell, but I'm such a germaphobe that I don't want to be touched by anyone else, and now, after looking in the mirror and seeing how disgusting I look, I can't even touch myself, not with a vibrator, my hand or a 10-foot pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

532

You deserved it

754

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Niles

Today, I had my first open job interview, which is when a group of applicants are interviewed together. I also found out that despite being great at one-on-one interviews, I will panic and make myself look like a complete moron when I'm part of a group. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22462

You deserved it

2342

Tweet

Share

By sad day - 21/6/2020 17:04

Time to run

Today, my dad planned his wedding to his mistress for literally the day after his divorce from my mom becomes final. My dad says he’ll be devastated if I don’t go, while my mother will feel betrayed if I do. I’m not sure who to hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2131

You deserved it

109

Tweet

Share

By bigbaby - United States - Saint Michael

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and panicked because I couldn't find my blankie. I'll be 36 in a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10741

You deserved it

3206

Tweet

Share

By Koko - Germany - Berlin

Today, my dog was so happy to see me that he laid down on his back and started pissing like a fountain. He pissed on everything around him, including me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19708

You deserved it

1898

Tweet

Share

By huwauw - United States

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

27908

You deserved it

7301

Tweet

Share

By bitchyskier - United States

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7920

You deserved it

63578

Tweet

Share

By yuna - 5/4/2021 22:59

Mouthwatering

Today, I discovered that I have a condition in which saliva frequently falls out of my mouth for no apparent reason. I’m 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

814

You deserved it

62

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Hungary - Szeged

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37818

You deserved it

4489

Tweet

Share

By lk07

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2656

You deserved it

309

Tweet

Share

By fthis - United States

Me me me

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33398

You deserved it

4312

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10203

You deserved it

29338

Tweet

Share

By UltraHoe69 - United States

Today, in gym class, we were forced to learn the "Hoedown Throwdown" dance, by Miley Cyrus. This will actually be counted toward my grade. I'm in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43063

You deserved it

4389

Tweet

Share

By joi9496

Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5217

You deserved it

396

Tweet

Share

By Dangling - United States - Lizella

Today, as I entered our narrow hallway while leaving the bathroom, my belt loop caught on the knob of a nearby closet. My husband had to come and rescue me as I hung there, my ass in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11423

You deserved it

1648

Tweet

Share

By WTF - United States

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28865

You deserved it

6516

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, someone overheard my ex talking about ditching me with a year-long lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1628

You deserved it

126

Tweet

Share

By Beardedlady - United States - Madison

Today, my mom told me that I need to shave my beard because it's getting too long. This wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2544

You deserved it

382

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Surrey

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39707

You deserved it

2074

Tweet

Share

By weak - United States - Columbus

Today, I was helping my wife bring in the groceries. She was able to carry 4 bags and a jug of milk. I was struggling with 2 bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37303

You deserved it

22505

Tweet

Share

By anon - United States - San Francisco

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29760

You deserved it

4742

Tweet

Share

By BadKitty - Australia - Invermay

Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11768

You deserved it

1236

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41306

You deserved it

4956

Tweet

Share

By bandit99999 - United States

Today, to keep my phone safe while I went on some rides, I took it out of my pocket so I could put it in my bag. Just as I pulled it out, a woman ran into me, knocking my phone to the ground and breaking the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29966

You deserved it

2841

Tweet

Share

By rissalynn

Today, my boyfriend's mother called me lazy. Her days consist of sitting on her couch watching Fox News. I'm a college athlete who also has a part-time job, yet I'm the lazy one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1741

You deserved it

133

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got fired. By my father. He wants me to drive him to work tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35566

You deserved it

3569

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32534

You deserved it

3242

Tweet

Share

By poordude - 3/4/2021 05:00

Extreme response

Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks

822

You deserved it

97

Tweet

Share

By well then - United States - Forest Park

Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27721

You deserved it

2443

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in the shower and had just finished washing my face. When I put the soap down I noticed a curly, black hair stuck to it. Im blond. The only other person who uses that bathroom is my uncle. I just rubbed my uncle's pubic hair all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55755

You deserved it

9137

Tweet

Share

By married to a nerd

Today, I asked my 4-year-old daughter where her father went. She said, "Out to have fun with Zoe." Acting on suspicion, I followed him and did a stakeout. Hours later, I barged in and caught him playing Dungeons and Dragons. "Zoe" is the female wizard he plays as. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1777

You deserved it

3875

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By TheSmartAss10 | 21

#6527702 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:23

Ignore people like that, they love starting fights. If he does it again, say, how would you describe it? And when he's completely off. Correct him on everything :D

By Tripartita | 44

#6527717 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:31

"Sometimes, the gap in typical communication skills can cause unwarranted, aggressive reactions—"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ABLEIST SHIT!"

COMMENTS

By TheSmartAss10 | 21

#6527702 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:23

Ignore people like that, they love starting fights. If he does it again, say, how would you describe it? And when he's completely off. Correct him on everything :D

Reply

Rkikkas9713 | 25

#6527712 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:27

The person OP is referring to seems like a Tumblrite extremist, so no reason to give them any attention.

Reply

LiveForSenpai | 13

#6527719 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:31

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By HumanitysFinest | 15

#6527706 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:25

I'm sorry OP. Don't listen to douches like him. Ignoring them is usually the best way to fight back. :3

By ekimen | 22

#6527709 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:25

The symptoms of autism differ hugely dependant on the level the sufferer is on the spectrum. He's just being ignorant, ignore him.

Reply

mrsmikelowrey | 15

#6528029 - Thursday 4 February 2016 4:28

Thank you for having a brain. Seriously.

By NotGabe | 28

#6527710 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:27

I hope you put him in his smug place.

By bigcdawg7111 | 12

#6527714 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:29

every one immediately thinks That the "professional cunt" is a dude.

Reply

OrganicSistah | 17

#6528019 - Thursday 4 February 2016 4:02

Lol I pictured a female.

Reply

harlsnerdbird | 9

#6528959 - Friday 5 February 2016 5:53

I also pictured a female lol

Reply

simsgirlgem | 25

#6529210 - Friday 5 February 2016 14:23

so did I because why a cunt if a dude and not a dick then?

By Tripartita | 44

#6527717 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:31

"Sometimes, the gap in typical communication skills can cause unwarranted, aggressive reactions—"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ABLEIST SHIT!"

Reply

TheAspieDork | 27

#6528007 - Thursday 4 February 2016 3:42

This is amazing

Reply

mattyiscool123 | 26

#6528030 - Thursday 4 February 2016 4:31

Isn't that coprolalia?

Reply

rivimatt | 20

#6528092 - Thursday 4 February 2016 5:53

*Turns to face camera with a "Really?" look on their face*

Reply

XxCreepaslayerxX | 9

#6528430 - Thursday 4 February 2016 15:36

But you can't react to anything anymore because of the fine bros

By pineapple_stick | 4

#6527722 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:33

Don't listen to that douche. It was a stupid idea for him to do that, and you should try to avoid that idiot.

By TrickyDeath | 14

#6527726 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:35

Sorry, OP! Some people are Grade A asshats.

By nickie_94 | 18

#6527729 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:38

Some people will always be ignorant. Tell her to keep her "lectures" to herself

By Zebediabolical | 39

#6527731 - Wednesday 3 February 2016 21:40

Where do I sign up for this 'Professional Cunt' position. I feel that I have the skill set down cold, and I have decades of experience. How do I monetize this?

Reply

tomvertigo | 17

#6527924 - Thursday 4 February 2016 1:45

I feel like MTV is a place to start... or possibly The View.

Reply

PhoenixChick | 26

#6527996 - Thursday 4 February 2016 3:24

But who wants to work for Fox news?

Reply

TheNewGuy03 | 28

#6528693 - Thursday 4 February 2016 21:38

The Fine Bros. know all about monetizing basic concepts