It would have made it better if you got electrocuted omg

Please do elaborate on how that would've been, in ANY way, "better".

#5 - The story would be more entertaining, duh! :D

I think being electrocuted would have just added insult to injury. Unless the reason is "I'm a serial killer and I enjoy cutting girls up", please explain how being electrocuted could possibly make anything better.

Well wasn't that convenient??

Yes that sounds hilarious *sarcasm*

19, your picture fit really nicely with that serial killer comment. Them eyes, man, them eyes.

So who won?

I'd say the car.

I'd say the metal pipe won.

I'd say the pavement.

I'd say the people that have that on video.

I'd say the doctor who sent out the bill....

I'd say us fellow FML'ers who read this.

I imagined this in cartoon form

Yeah im on acid as well.

Yeah totally 3 and at the end of Op's injuries that Wah Wah Wah Wahhhhh theme song plays.

This sounds like something that would only happen in a bad comedy movie. Also, sorry about your mom OP. It's never easy having a family member in the hospital.

Along with himself.

I'm sure your Mum is proud now.

The moment I read "jumped over the steel cables...", I knew some kind of horror was bound to happen.

And the fact that the app is called FML

I had the same feeling after the "Today," part

What trolls haha

I knew when I read "I tried to beat my dad to the car."

Being at the hospital already is a positive way to look at it, but FYL for having to go back in :(

Way to worry your sick mother.. Well, at least you were at the hospital! I hope you weren't hurt too badly

No, wasn't that bad. I got a swollen ankle, scratched arm, black eye, sore back/pelvis, and head trauma(Should NOT have gone to sleep last night, whoops). I laughed my ass off on the way home, and so did my dad. The steel cables bent like a foot and a half or so I'm told, I passed out, so all I remember is the sound of my head hitting the pipe and waking up on the floor.

Running to the car is a rookie mistake, OP. Simply call shotgun and it overrules any governing system already in place.

I'm assuming that op already had shotgun, but they wanted to race to see who could win. I played this game with my dad a lot

Поспешишь - людей насмешишь!

Правда, но это была гонка.

You made me trek all the way to Google Translate just for that? I expected meaning of life shit for the effort I had to put in.

Hey I had to take the trek to make it. Google translate screws translations if there are too many words, so I kept it short and sweet ^.^

What did that even say???

#30 - Haste makes waste.

I'm being the lazy one here and NOT going to google translate like the rest of ya haha

hardcore parkour claims yet another victim...