Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
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By
TrueTriage
| 16
Honestly I would've done the same thing as your boyfriend. It just sounds a little overboard good try though!
By
flockz
| 19
i think if you would have just come out and started speaking cock, you wouldn't be having this problem.
Comments
By
TheLittlePug
| 3
His loss!
Reply
siickman
| 7
I would have laughed pretty hard to but take into the consideration she was trying to be sexy and try stopping to get on with kinky sex haha. Laugh more about it tomorrow morning :p
Reply
ICastillo
| 24
When he started laughing you should have pulled the whip out.
Reply
samsaf1989
| 5
And given him a good ass whipping! That would have stopped the laughter rather abruptly :-)
Reply
crimsonprodigy
| 15
He hasn't lost anything though.
Doesn't matter, had sex.
Doesn't matter, had sex.
Reply
Roevera
| 14
I'm pretty sure the point of the FML was that they didn't have sex..
Reply
fmlroooster
| 4
I hate black people
Reply
KrazieKleo
| 13
40- it does matter that you missed English class. FYL
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outoftown
| 26
#40, He didn't get sex, but he got clean laundry.
Reply
lebronesque73091
| 12
Lol, I'm pretty sure that any man would find that funny.
Reply
aliishaxo
| 8
whole time they didn't have sex #40
Reply
Valdrek
| 26
Agreed, I would love it if my wife did kinky stuff like that for me, only she actually is Russian... And funny is sexy in the bedroom, I think so at least.
Reply
PinkieKeen
| 20
Remember OP, always just be yourself.
Unless you suck.
Unless you suck.
Reply
FATTY_MCDOOGLE
| 29
I'm not gonna lie, this is hilarious.
By
TrueTriage
| 16
Honestly I would've done the same thing as your boyfriend. It just sounds a little overboard good try though!
Reply
awsetdvcshjkgss
| 1
Damn you thirsty!
Reply
iOceanus
| 18
I would have laughed too, but I would have went with it.
Reply
CallMeMcFeelii
| 13
I am Olov and I've come to take you back to the mother land. Climb aboard my submarine, it's about to get wet. Haha sorry I'm not good at role playing. Or sounding sexy as a Russian.
Reply
hunteer9
| 5
Actually that's sounds pretty good to me.
Reply
aloring
| 14
Stop saying she tried to hard.. At least she was open to the idea of trying for him all he was doing is sitting there being rude. Why doesn't anyone see that he just being a closed minded jerk? And destroying her self esteem.
Reply
CallMeMcFeelii
| 13
Aloring, where in this thread that you responded to did you see someone arguing she tried to hard? I think you're trying to hard to get your comment read.
Reply
davestrider
| 0
#2 it's not really as overboard as hilarious as fuck. This is one of the don'ts of sexual roleplaying: don't say anything funny
Reply
EagorLuvsBigFoot
| 8
Aloring, please calm the fuck down.
Thank you
Thank you
Reply
Carmstro
| 13
I can't believe OP would say a line as cheesy as that and then get offended that her bf laughed! I hope the FML was more complaining about not getting any vs. him laughing.
Reply
jesustitts
| 20
I completely agree. I would have laughed myself had I been the one saying it or hearing it. I'm surprised OP even managed to keep from laughing herself. This is quite a hilarious situation and you can't be mad at the boyfriend.
Reply
kaylabears98
| 3
I would have giggled and then got it in... He should have gone with it she tried
Reply
Krystal3408
| 32
Yeah the try was pretty hilarious
Reply
lwm
| 4
I'd have died laughing, and probably couldn't have gone with the spy thing, but any girl who both makes me laugh and goes through effort to try to sleep with me is a WIN.
Not someone I'd want to leave alone that night.
Not someone I'd want to leave alone that night.
By
evig_fml
| 16
Keep pretending, seduce him, and then kill him to stop him from getting the access codes!
Reply
Dr0reos
| 8
Yes when you're done report back to Boris at the kremlin and tell him the American agent has been neutralized(for some reason all I can think of now is a spy themed porno hmm..)
By
I_iz_B_a_troll
| 23
In Soviet Russia, laundry does you!
Reply
TheGianaJinx
| 0
Wow. That was genius.
Reply
IQuicklyEscalate
| 0
In soviet Russia man reject woman.
Reply
Zano23
| 9
At least something is doing op.
Reply
Dr0reos
| 8
4-apparently girlfriend doesn't,too bad if someone had used that line about Russian and your cock I would be on that like shrimp fried rice
Reply
TheOnlyX
| 11
In Soviet Russia, one does not speak in cock, only vodka.
Reply
william8691
| 10
I think i pissed myself laughing at these comments lol.
Reply
Taylo12237
| 5
In Soviet Russia, laundry does you! ...but your boyfriend won't.
By
SheBeNeNe
| 16
Maybe he have a weak bladder and you caught him at a bad time.
Reply
P374RD3D
| 9
I doubt he would agree to have sex if he needed to piss.
Reply
wolfhausen
| 7
Your naïveté is quite cute 5. Hilariously cute.
Reply
Soloman212
| 28
35, unless he was into that kind of thing.
By
flockz
| 19
i think if you would have just come out and started speaking cock, you wouldn't be having this problem.
Reply
smiliecat
| 13
This comment made my day.
Reply
ICastillo
| 24
Haha ya then they can call Op the cock whisperer.
Reply
metaphoristic
| 8
She should've role played as a "snake charmer" if you get what I mean ;)
Reply
metaphoristic
| 8
Sorry I just realized my comment has nothing to do with the FML, haha. A bit too sleepy to be on this right now.
Reply
FilleNoir
| 21
47 don't lie, you just posted a lame comment. Happens to the best of us. ;)
Reply
Dr0reos
| 8
Yea I wish I could speak cock that well,I only know a few words. I can carry a conversation in vagina though and I'm fluent in butthole.it's what the parents spoke at home(I came from an immigrant family)
By
EpicSquishii
| 21
Hahaha! That's probably a good indication that Natalia isn't the best alter-ego for you. Maybe try Sexy Pedro or Samurai Sally :)
Silly can be nice in bed, you know
Silly can be nice in bed, you know
Reply
ambear26
| 14
Sexy pedro ? That would make me laugh more than Natalia the Russian spy.
Reply
agonydrum
| 7
The Russian spy thing is kind of hot..but isn't Pedro a guys name? And samurais aren't really sexy.. and they're usually men as well
Reply
sean0206
| 5
Will you come be my sexy samurai? You're cute;)
Reply
anencephalic
| 14
76 - you spelled 'always' wrong. Japan did have female warriors, but none of them were samurai.
Edit: this is going to get buried, isn't it?
Edit: this is going to get buried, isn't it?
Reply
agonydrum
| 7
Can you confirm 100% that no woman ever dressed up like a man an became a samurai? No you can't? Well that's why I said usually
Reply
BenL97
| 5
Think Mulan, she was Chinese but still.
Reply
Mister_Triangle
| 21
Mulan was also beheaded in real life when she caught, so "sexy samurai" should remain a shitty Halloween costume idea
Reply
TheOnlyX
| 11
No 76, Russian spy IS hot, you just haven't had enough vodka yet.
By
MagicStallion
| 9
See, you started trying to dirty talk him in English in a Russian accent, but what you didn't know is that you were secretly using your fluency in cock-speak to tell his cock to pee.
Reply
jvmateo
| 0
That's not how pee works but okay.
~logic Nazi
~logic Nazi
By
Spectre529
| 12
To be honest that would make me laugh too... But good try
Reply
AdrianIsCute
| 2
You can't blame the guy for having a good laugh, persistence is the key!!
By
jomannbokor
| 4
He probably posted the same story on My Life is Bro.