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By Anonymous - United States - Battle Creek
  Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks
36845
You deserved it
20455
Intimacy

Serious times

Messed up

Stress level: 2020

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  siickman  |  7

I would have laughed pretty hard to but take into the consideration she was trying to be sexy and try stopping to get on with kinky sex haha. Laugh more about it tomorrow morning :p

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  crimsonprodigy  |  15

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  Valdrek  |  26

Agreed, I would love it if my wife did kinky stuff like that for me, only she actually is Russian... And funny is sexy in the bedroom, I think so at least.

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  CallMeMcFeelii  |  13

I am Olov and I've come to take you back to the mother land. Climb aboard my submarine, it's about to get wet. Haha sorry I'm not good at role playing. Or sounding sexy as a Russian.

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  aloring  |  14

Stop saying she tried to hard.. At least she was open to the idea of trying for him all he was doing is sitting there being rude. Why doesn't anyone see that he just being a closed minded jerk? And destroying her self esteem.

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  Carmstro  |  13

I can't believe OP would say a line as cheesy as that and then get offended that her bf laughed! I hope the FML was more complaining about not getting any vs. him laughing.

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  jesustitts  |  20

I completely agree. I would have laughed myself had I been the one saying it or hearing it. I'm surprised OP even managed to keep from laughing herself. This is quite a hilarious situation and you can't be mad at the boyfriend.

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  lwm  |  4

I'd have died laughing, and probably couldn't have gone with the spy thing, but any girl who both makes me laugh and goes through effort to try to sleep with me is a WIN.

Not someone I'd want to leave alone that night.

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  Dr0reos  |  8

Yes when you're done report back to Boris at the kremlin and tell him the American agent has been neutralized(for some reason all I can think of now is a spy themed porno hmm..)

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  Dr0reos  |  8

4-apparently girlfriend doesn't,too bad if someone had used that line about Russian and your cock I would be on that like shrimp fried rice

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By  SheBeNeNe  |  16

Maybe he have a weak bladder and you caught him at a bad time.

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  Dr0reos  |  8

Yea I wish I could speak cock that well,I only know a few words. I can carry a conversation in vagina though and I'm fluent in butthole.it's what the parents spoke at home(I came from an immigrant family)

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By  MagicStallion  |  9

See, you started trying to dirty talk him in English in a Russian accent, but what you didn't know is that you were secretly using your fluency in cock-speak to tell his cock to pee.

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