FML : Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian...

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Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 16 October 2012 12:36 / United States - Battle Creek

Intimacy

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Top comments

By TrueTriage | 16

#5049276 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 06:59

Honestly I would've done the same thing as your boyfriend. It just sounds a little overboard good try though!

By flockz | 19

#5049288 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:03

i think if you would have just come out and started speaking cock, you wouldn't be having this problem.

Comments

By TheLittlePug | 3

#5049263 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 06:59

His loss!

siickman | 7

#5049327 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:14

I would have laughed pretty hard to but take into the consideration she was trying to be sexy and try stopping to get on with kinky sex haha. Laugh more about it tomorrow morning :p

ICastillo | 24

#5049329 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:14

When he started laughing you should have pulled the whip out.

samsaf1989 | 5

#5049391 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:32

And given him a good ass whipping! That would have stopped the laughter rather abruptly :-)

crimsonprodigy | 15

#5049501 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 08:29

He hasn't lost anything though. Doesn't matter, had sex.

Roevera | 14

#5049510 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 08:39

I'm pretty sure the point of the FML was that they didn't have sex..

fmlroooster | 4

#5049549 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 09:13

I hate black people

KrazieKleo | 13

#5049689 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 10:50

40- it does matter that you missed English class. FYL

outoftown | 26

#5049745 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 11:23

#40, He didn't get sex, but he got clean laundry.

lebronesque73091 | 12

#5049940 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 12:43

Lol, I'm pretty sure that any man would find that funny.

aliishaxo | 8

#5050931 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 02:15

whole time they didn't have sex #40

Valdrek | 26

#5053199 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 08:22

Agreed, I would love it if my wife did kinky stuff like that for me, only she actually is Russian... And funny is sexy in the bedroom, I think so at least.

PinkieKeen | 20

#5053221 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 08:34

Remember OP, always just be yourself. Unless you suck.

FATTY_MCDOOGLE | 29

#5068767 - Monday 22 October 2012 09:49

I'm not gonna lie, this is hilarious.

By TrueTriage | 16

#5049276 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 06:59

Honestly I would've done the same thing as your boyfriend. It just sounds a little overboard good try though!

awsetdvcshjkgss | 1

#5049350 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:21

Damn you thirsty!

iOceanus | 18

#5049388 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:31

I would have laughed too, but I would have went with it.

CallMeMcFeelii | 13

#5049480 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 08:19

I am Olov and I've come to take you back to the mother land. Climb aboard my submarine, it's about to get wet. Haha sorry I'm not good at role playing. Or sounding sexy as a Russian.

hunteer9 | 5

#5049541 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 09:00

Actually that's sounds pretty good to me.

aloring | 14

#5049767 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 11:36

Stop saying she tried to hard.. At least she was open to the idea of trying for him all he was doing is sitting there being rude. Why doesn't anyone see that he just being a closed minded jerk? And destroying her self esteem.

CallMeMcFeelii | 13

#5049951 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 12:47

Aloring, where in this thread that you responded to did you see someone arguing she tried to hard? I think you're trying to hard to get your comment read.

davestrider | 0

#5050970 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 02:30

#2 it's not really as overboard as hilarious as fuck. This is one of the don'ts of sexual roleplaying: don't say anything funny

EagorLuvsBigFoot | 8

#5051070 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 03:28

Aloring, please calm the fuck down. Thank you

Carmstro | 13

#5051350 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 06:17

I can't believe OP would say a line as cheesy as that and then get offended that her bf laughed! I hope the FML was more complaining about not getting any vs. him laughing.

jesustitts | 20

#5052120 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 01:57

I completely agree. I would have laughed myself had I been the one saying it or hearing it. I'm surprised OP even managed to keep from laughing herself. This is quite a hilarious situation and you can't be mad at the boyfriend.

kaylabears98 | 3

#5428810 - Sunday 31 March 2013 04:13

I would have giggled and then got it in... He should have gone with it she tried

Krystal3408 | 32

#5619944 - Friday 9 August 2013 11:59

Yeah the try was pretty hilarious

lwm | 4

#5795357 - Tuesday 17 December 2013 08:09

I'd have died laughing, and probably couldn't have gone with the spy thing, but any girl who both makes me laugh and goes through effort to try to sleep with me is a WIN. Not someone I'd want to leave alone that night.

By evig_fml | 16

#5049278 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:00

Keep pretending, seduce him, and then kill him to stop him from getting the access codes!

Dr0reos | 8

#5050018 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 01:19

Yes when you're done report back to Boris at the kremlin and tell him the American agent has been neutralized(for some reason all I can think of now is a spy themed porno hmm..)

By I_iz_B_a_troll | 23

#5049285 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:02

In Soviet Russia, laundry does you!

TheGianaJinx | 0

#5049511 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 08:39

Wow. That was genius.

IQuicklyEscalate | 0

#5049573 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 09:39

In soviet Russia man reject woman.

Zano23 | 9

#5049715 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 11:07

At least something is doing op.

Dr0reos | 8

#5051043 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 03:13

4-apparently girlfriend doesn't,too bad if someone had used that line about Russian and your cock I would be on that like shrimp fried rice

TheOnlyX | 11

#5052287 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 03:17

In Soviet Russia, one does not speak in cock, only vodka.

william8691 | 10

#5053223 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 08:37

I think i pissed myself laughing at these comments lol.

Taylo12237 | 5

#5059874 - Friday 19 October 2012 10:16

In Soviet Russia, laundry does you! ...but your boyfriend won't.

By SheBeNeNe | 16

#5049287 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:03

Maybe he have a weak bladder and you caught him at a bad time.

P374RD3D | 9

#5049463 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 08:09

I doubt he would agree to have sex if he needed to piss.

wolfhausen | 7

#5049493 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 08:25

Your naïveté is quite cute 5. Hilariously cute.

Soloman212 | 28

#5049774 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 11:38

35, unless he was into that kind of thing.

By flockz | 19

#5049288 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:03

i think if you would have just come out and started speaking cock, you wouldn't be having this problem.

smiliecat | 13

#5049367 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:26

This comment made my day.

ICastillo | 24

#5049411 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:38

Haha ya then they can call Op the cock whisperer.

metaphoristic | 8

#5049517 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 08:42

She should've role played as a "snake charmer" if you get what I mean ;)

metaphoristic | 8

#5049537 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 08:57

Sorry I just realized my comment has nothing to do with the FML, haha. A bit too sleepy to be on this right now.

FilleNoir | 21

#5049602 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 10:04

47 don't lie, you just posted a lame comment. Happens to the best of us. ;)

Dr0reos | 8

#5051050 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 03:19

Yea I wish I could speak cock that well,I only know a few words. I can carry a conversation in vagina though and I'm fluent in butthole.it's what the parents spoke at home(I came from an immigrant family)

By EpicSquishii | 21

#5049292 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:04

Hahaha! That's probably a good indication that Natalia isn't the best alter-ego for you. Maybe try Sexy Pedro or Samurai Sally :) Silly can be nice in bed, you know

ambear26 | 14

#5049441 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:58

Sexy pedro ? That would make me laugh more than Natalia the Russian spy.

agonydrum | 7

#5049761 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 11:35

The Russian spy thing is kind of hot..but isn't Pedro a guys name? And samurais aren't really sexy.. and they're usually men as well

sean0206 | 5

#5049842 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 12:05

Will you come be my sexy samurai? You're cute;)

anencephalic | 14

#5051065 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 03:27

76 - you spelled 'always' wrong. Japan did have female warriors, but none of them were samurai. Edit: this is going to get buried, isn't it?

agonydrum | 7

#5051138 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 03:57

Can you confirm 100% that no woman ever dressed up like a man an became a samurai? No you can't? Well that's why I said usually

BenL97 | 5

#5051300 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 05:39

Think Mulan, she was Chinese but still.

Mister_Triangle | 21

#5051983 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 12:32

Mulan was also beheaded in real life when she caught, so "sexy samurai" should remain a shitty Halloween costume idea

TheOnlyX | 11

#5052300 - Wednesday 17 October 2012 03:19

No 76, Russian spy IS hot, you just haven't had enough vodka yet.

By MagicStallion | 9

#5049298 - Tuesday 16 October 2012 07:06

See, you started trying to dirty talk him in English in a Russian accent, but what you didn't know is that you were secretly using your fluency in cock-speak to tell his cock to pee.