By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 12:36 - United States - Battle Creek

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 999
You deserved it 20 532

Same thing different taste

Top comments

flockz 19

i think if you would have just come out and started speaking ****, you wouldn't be having this problem.

Honestly I would've done the same thing as your boyfriend. It just sounds a little overboard good try though!


siickman 7

I would have laughed pretty hard to but take into the consideration she was trying to be sexy and try stopping to get on with kinky sex haha. Laugh more about it tomorrow morning :p

When he started laughing you should have pulled the whip out.

And given him a good ass whipping! That would have stopped the laughter rather abruptly :-)

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I'm pretty sure the point of the FML was that they didn't have sex..

40- it does matter that you missed English class. FYL

#40, He didn't get sex, but he got clean laundry.

lebronesque73091 12

Lol, I'm pretty sure that any man would find that funny.

Agreed, I would love it if my wife did kinky stuff like that for me, only she actually is Russian... And funny is sexy in the bedroom, I think so at least.

Remember OP, always just be yourself. Unless you suck.


I'm not gonna lie, this is hilarious.

Honestly I would've done the same thing as your boyfriend. It just sounds a little overboard good try though!

iOceanus 18

I would have laughed too, but I would have went with it.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

I am Olov and I've come to take you back to the mother land. Climb aboard my submarine, it's about to get wet. Haha sorry I'm not good at role playing. Or sounding sexy as a Russian.

Actually that's sounds pretty good to me.

Stop saying she tried to hard.. At least she was open to the idea of trying for him all he was doing is sitting there being rude. Why doesn't anyone see that he just being a closed minded jerk? And destroying her self esteem.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Aloring, where in this thread that you responded to did you see someone arguing she tried to hard? I think you're trying to hard to get your comment read.

#2 it's not really as overboard as hilarious as ****. This is one of the don'ts of sexual roleplaying: don't say anything funny

Aloring, please calm the **** down. Thank you

I can't believe OP would say a line as cheesy as that and then get offended that her bf laughed! I hope the FML was more complaining about not getting any vs. him laughing.

I completely agree. I would have laughed myself had I been the one saying it or hearing it. I'm surprised OP even managed to keep from laughing herself. This is quite a hilarious situation and you can't be mad at the boyfriend.

I would have giggled and then got it in... He should have gone with it she tried

I'd have died laughing, and probably couldn't have gone with the spy thing, but any girl who both makes me laugh and goes through effort to try to sleep with me is a WIN. Not someone I'd want to leave alone that night.

Keep pretending, seduce him, and then kill him to stop him from getting the access codes!

Dr0reos 8

Yes when you're done report back to Boris at the kremlin and tell him the American agent has been neutralized(for some reason all I can think of now is a spy themed porno hmm..)

IQuicklyEscalate 0

In soviet Russia man reject woman.

Zano23 9

At least something is doing op.

Dr0reos 8

4-apparently girlfriend doesn't,too bad if someone had used that line about Russian and your **** I would be on that like shrimp fried rice

In Soviet Russia, one does not speak in ****, only vodka.

william8691 10

I think i pissed myself laughing at these comments lol.

In Soviet Russia, laundry does you! ...but your boyfriend won't.

Maybe he have a weak bladder and you caught him at a bad time.

I doubt he would agree to have sex if he needed to piss.

Your naïveté is quite cute 5. Hilariously cute.

35, unless he was into that kind of thing.

flockz 19

i think if you would have just come out and started speaking ****, you wouldn't be having this problem.

Haha ya then they can call Op the **** whisperer.

metaphoristic 8

She should've role played as a "snake charmer" if you get what I mean ;)

metaphoristic 8

Sorry I just realized my comment has nothing to do with the FML, haha. A bit too sleepy to be on this right now.

FilleNoir 21

47 don't lie, you just posted a lame comment. Happens to the best of us. ;)

Dr0reos 8

Yea I wish I could speak **** that well,I only know a few words. I can carry a conversation in ****** though and I'm fluent in's what the parents spoke at home(I came from an immigrant family)

Hahaha! That's probably a good indication that Natalia isn't the best alter-ego for you. Maybe try Sexy Pedro or Samurai Sally :) Silly can be nice in bed, you know

Sexy pedro ? That would make me laugh more than Natalia the Russian spy.

agonydrum 7

The Russian spy thing is kind of hot..but isn't Pedro a guys name? And samurais aren't really sexy.. and they're usually men as well

sean0206 5

Will you come be my sexy samurai? You're cute;)

76 - you spelled 'always' wrong. Japan did have female warriors, but none of them were samurai. Edit: this is going to get buried, isn't it?

agonydrum 7

Can you confirm 100% that no woman ever dressed up like a man an became a samurai? No you can't? Well that's why I said usually

Think Mulan, she was Chinese but still.

Mister_Triangle 21

Mulan was also beheaded in real life when she caught, so "sexy samurai" should remain a shitty Halloween costume idea

No 76, Russian spy IS hot, you just haven't had enough vodka yet.

See, you started trying to dirty talk him in English in a Russian accent, but what you didn't know is that you were secretly using your fluency in ****-speak to tell his **** to pee.

jvmateo 0

That's not how pee works but okay. ~logic Nazi

To be honest that would make me laugh too... But good try

You can't blame the guy for having a good laugh, persistence is the key!!

He probably posted the same story on My Life is Bro.