I read this in a Chinese accent

How 6? How does one possibly read that in a Chinese accent?

#9 imagine someone saying the words in a Chinese accent. Thats pretty much it.

This shitty chokorate facto-ree

Huh, maybe OP has discovered Trump's beauty routine.

Oh my 'Lanta! Lol Aww, hope you had great day, OP. :)

Tumeric stains. It is normal.

Really? Putting tumeric spice on your hand for 20 minutes? I dunno, I feel like if you're buying a face mask in a proper place, you're kind of expecting it to just work, and while it could be good to test it, I highly doubt most people would have in OP's case..

Yes really, OP should have tested it because OP made it DIY and didn't buy it. A purchased mask would not have used spices known to cause staining but instead it would have used organics in a dry emulsion that's coating the fabric. Those don't stain and have been sterilized. He chose to used a bad idea in a DIY mask and gets dyed orange for his trouble.

That's true, but some people should still test bought ones also. It's not necessary because of what they put in it but just what your skin likes/doesn't like. I've had an allergic reaction to one from a store causing a red rash on my face, which made me look sunburnt in the middle of winter.

Well maybe the first part applies (you should test stuff on something that's not your face for sure, though most people don't) but they didn't do it "right before work", they did it the night before work. Most people work a majority of the time, and it would be unrealistic to wait til you had a vacation to do something like try a new face mask.

Baby oil and sugar

cold cream works too

I agree with the baby oil and cold cream... If not something that has a bleaching effect like a benzoyl peroxide wash might help or that hair bleach Jolen or that Sally Hanson makes all are safe for skin.