Transportation: Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until...

By Anonymous - 15/01/2012 09:44 - United States

Today, I took my car to a drive-through car wash. It wasn't until after my back seat was filled with foam and I had been squirted in the face that I realized my back seat window was rolled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 947

You deserved it 36 428

Transportation

Own it

This Charming Man

Dumb, but relatable

By Maju - 31/10/2019 04:00 - Netherlands

Today, I hit my toe against a table. Out of frustration, I kicked the table and broke my little toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 2 626

By Mr. X - 23/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Southborough

Today, my sister convinced my girlfriend that I cheated on her. All because I took the first slice of her birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 516

You deserved it 5 444

Cheers!

By imamonster1992 - 24/12/2009 23:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got rejected by his dream college. In an effort to comfort him, I told him that he is incredibly smart and that it's their loss. He replied, "Of course you think so, you're an idiot!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 888

You deserved it 4 958

By unfortunategeek - 23/12/2010 16:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to contact my birth mother, who abandoned me when I was three weeks old. After months of tracing, I finally plucked up the courage to call her. She told me to "f*ck off and die". FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 410

You deserved it 7 565

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 06:06 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 447

You deserved it 6 370

By notacashier - 03/07/2014 12:29 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 585

You deserved it 28 407

Classic

By horriblegf - 26/02/2011 12:18 - United States

Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 569

You deserved it 5 918

By Shelby - 19/06/2012 16:38 - United States - Nokomis

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 867

You deserved it 17 260

Can't escape the QAnon Flavor Aid

By Can't move out - 25/06/2021 18:01

Today, I found out my parents truly believe that Donald Trump will return to power in August. They also believed it was going to happen in March. It's like living in a death cult. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 063

You deserved it 248

By ouch - 27/01/2009 02:18 - United States

Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 369

You deserved it 2 135

By f - 31/01/2011 05:47

Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 232

You deserved it 7 885

By bootyislife - 03/02/2015 04:36 - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 125

You deserved it 4 955

By Anonymous - 30/09/2010 13:25 - United States

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 004

You deserved it 5 456

By Noname - 07/01/2009 15:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 447

You deserved it 56 367

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 275

You deserved it 3 824

By Annie - 01/11/2018 22:15

Today, the CEO of my company told me the only reason I'm being sent to this huge tech conference is because the company will look better with a girl there. I'm expected to stay out until 4am with creepy rich business partners to stroke their egos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 245

You deserved it 232

By get me out of this house! - 03/03/2014 06:12 - United States

Today, my grandma begins her second week of unemployment. So far, she has paced outside my door, randomly comes into my room, and I woke up this morning to find a bible on my bed. I now look forward to going to work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 527

You deserved it 3 608

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 056

You deserved it 5 229

By Hot Pants - 01/12/2011 17:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 370

You deserved it 5 789

By waterballoons - 27/07/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, it was a pretty nice day so I decided I would take a walk through the park to get to work instead of driving. Healthier and better for the planet, right? Wrong. Some little bratty kids were bored apparently and decided to hide behind trees and peg me with water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 231

You deserved it 4 026

By noway6000 - 03/03/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 549

You deserved it 94 605

By hamburger - 06/07/2013 21:21 - United States - Adrian

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 141

You deserved it 8 464

By Ugh-Lee - 30/09/2010 15:07 - United States

Today, a cute girl sat down next to me on the bus. She looked up at me, and then moved to the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 503

You deserved it 3 934

By unlucky - 31/05/2016 19:05 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I went to a party. After asking several people about the ingredients in a cake, I took one bite and ended up in the hospital with a severe reaction to the nuts that "definitely weren't" in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 424

You deserved it 910

By Anonymous - 03/11/2014 18:03 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I told my boss I'm going to quit, after months of being abused, doing meaningless work, and working late every day. I was soon given so many new projects that I didn't even have time to write my resignation letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 604

You deserved it 5 823

By Anonymous - 08/11/2014 20:36 - United States - Deland

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 962

You deserved it 38 619

Childish

By jade - 11/01/2022 17:01

Today, I was talking to a guy when he pointed behind me and said, “Hey, what’s that?” I looked behind me and he burst out laughing, saying he “can’t believe I’m so stupid that I still fall for that old trick.” We were having a conversation, not a physical fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 112

By pda - 25/08/2013 02:46 - United States - Short Hills

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 067

You deserved it 4 679

Great input, dad

By shamed - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 731

You deserved it 3 392

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 516

You deserved it 24 215

By Anonymous - 08/04/2011 16:25 - United States

Today, I discovered that not only is my live-in mother-in-law a fan of Lady Gaga, she dances around the house naked to fully embrace the music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 026

You deserved it 3 970

By automaticfail_00 - 17/06/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 951

You deserved it 5 034

By Anonymous - 21/10/2012 04:24 - United States

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 314

You deserved it 11 908

By Anonymous - 02/02/2015 17:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 852

You deserved it 3 238

By sofargone420 - 29/07/2011 14:27 - United States

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 561

You deserved it 10 502

By Unloving - 31/12/2009 21:47 - United States

Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 952

You deserved it 5 002

Grab the balls by the horn, dude

By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 18:00

Today, the only girl I've ever had eyes for said she can't find any good single men, all while sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 505

By bored - 27/11/2012 18:05 - United States

Today, I've now worked on Thanksgiving, Black Friday, the weekend after that, and two days this week. My husband and son have had all that time off, and yet I've still ended up having to clean the dishes and the house after them on all of these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 312

You deserved it 5 648

By msjustine - 06/05/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 889

You deserved it 13 341

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 561

You deserved it 2 355

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

thebluewizard 14

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:39

That sucks, but you REALLY should check that beforehand. Just sayin'.

amanda_say_whutt 9

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:46

Dude look, you paid for a car wash but instead you got a free shower.

thebluewizard 14

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:39

That sucks, but you REALLY should check that beforehand. Just sayin'.

MedKits 9

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:41

At least the inside of the vehicle is clean now.

OhHushDear 11

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:50

Uh, YEAH you should check. And I can't believe it took your seat filling up with foam to REALIZE that a window was rolled down. You sound exceptionally unobservant.

a1f0sff 25

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 17:29

You didn't hear loud, strange noises? Like they said, you took that long to figure it out? Smh

attaboy368 20

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 18:03

and now op doen't need to waste time taking a shower and doing laundry when they get home lol

thatshot808 6

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 18:04

ALWAYS check the windows before washing your car. It's common sense and if the window open was the one behind the drivers seat, then you defiantly deserve it!

periwinkle95 10

Send a private message

Monday 16 January 2012 8:10

Medkits are you for real a Physician Assistant? If so, I have some questions for you, because I plan to be one. If that's fine with you.

ciscmowe 5

Send a private message

Monday 16 January 2012 10:55

I bet you like getting stuff squirt onto your face, OP.

MedKits 9

Send a private message

Monday 16 January 2012 20:24

48 -Drop me a PM when you get the chance.

wisese 0

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:41

Hm. I saw a post just like this on Facebook yesterday.

ii_tayman 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 17 January 2012 7:28

You know what else is weird he got squirted in the face yet it was his back window that was open

beanybabe 13

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:43

On the plus side, you won't have to wash the inside of your car:)

67Ravender 0

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 22:07

OP's used to getting squirted in the face

Pelreskovich 11

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:45

This is your own stupid fault, you ruined your car be side you're an idiot. Wahhh.

Pelreskovich 11

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 22:23

Phone typo.

amanda_say_whutt 9

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:46

Dude look, you paid for a car wash but instead you got a free shower.

FirstTigerHobbes 13

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 18:37

Car wash and a free shower?! IMPOSSIBRU!

superpoptart 24

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:46

This where you call all your friends to have a wild foam party in the back of your car.

Strafeh 9

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:47

Did you squirt yourself in the face?

FirstTigerHobbes 13

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 19:08

Re-read the FML please

Savra_fml 17

Send a private message

Sunday 15 January 2012 16:54

This is totally a YDI! If the car could talk it would probably say "sell me, please!" Get off the roads. That way your car can be nice and clean at home.