Love: Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering...

By busted - 22/09/2012 21:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering their questions about him, when my dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through my teeth, and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 375

You deserved it 3 252

Love

Walk the line

Broken heart

Menace II Society

By AnAngryyGiraffe - 06/12/2016 04:46 - United States - Chatsworth

Today, after dropping my phone in the toilet, I left it dismantled outside in my backyard to dry hoping it could be saved. I forgot about the phone as well as the sprinklers that were scheduled to go off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 593

You deserved it 3 936

By Anonymous - 26/07/2014 15:50 - United States

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 475

You deserved it 4 981

By Anonymous - 24/12/2018 12:00

Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 621

You deserved it 479

Double trouble

By idiot - 28/06/2020 08:07

Today, I was sitting on my bike texting when someone snatched my phone and ran. Like an idiot, I jumped off my bike and ran after him. He then ran in a big circle, got on my bike and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 1 564

By Anonymous - 08/09/2013 05:42 - United States - Calera

Today, when my husband asked me what the password to my new computer is, I told him it was the month and year of our marriage. He couldn't figure out the password. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 094

You deserved it 7 060

By Lilly - 30/10/2012 18:45 - United States

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 859

You deserved it 4 332

By Stephanie - 14/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 524

You deserved it 60 113

By Anonymous - 22/06/2014 05:27 - Australia

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 206

You deserved it 5 046

By mypoolisstilldirty - 16/02/2012 16:26 - Australia

Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet, and my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 703

You deserved it 4 305

By Anonymous - 14/10/2015 13:21 - United States - Smithville

Today, I went to my cousin's house. I left my bag on the couch as my aunt instructed, only for my cousin to take it and throw it into the swimming pool. My laptop, textbooks and notes were soaked. My exam is in a week, and my aunt won't punish her perfect little angel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 254

You deserved it 1 791

Slides are for the beach

By badtoeday - 04/10/2021 05:00

Today, while shopping at a store, my big toe decided that it was deeply infatuated with my shopping cart wheel. So much so, it rammed itself straight into it. It took everything in me not to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 169

By bit - 30/07/2009 10:01 - United States

Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 469

You deserved it 64 301

By confused - 28/09/2011 04:55 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 118

You deserved it 8 687

By daughter - 05/08/2012 07:49 - United States - Kailua

Today, since I'm still recovering from my surgery and can't drive, my daughter drove me to the doctor. When I was done and walked outside, she was nowhere to be seen. Then I got a text: "Sorry, I forgot I have to be somewhere." The closest bus stop to our house is miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 731

You deserved it 2 359

By Bugga2018 - 22/05/2016 23:52 - United States - Freeport

Today, I went into the basement to do laundry. There is a little rope on the outside of the door to lock it. I was down there for 20 minutes, and came back up the stairs to find it locked. Turns out, my 3 year-old sister did it, then our parents took her to the park. I was stuck down there for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 328

You deserved it 896

Love hurts

By MissT - 21/06/2021 09:59 - Australia - Dianella

Today, my divorce certificate arrived in the mail. Reading it felt like I was punched in the face by a brick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 125

By Motorless - 08/09/2017 01:30

Today, after months of riding a bike through the rain, I finally saved up enough for a car. It was a little aged, but ran fine. That is, until a tire blew out, the engine stalled, and the battery died within one week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 267

You deserved it 341

Marriage (Dress) Story

By Anonymous - 02/04/2020 17:00

Today, I found out that the company I sent my wedding dress to caught fire and lost everything in their building. I was going to be the fourth generation woman in my family to wear it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 720

You deserved it 133

By HoratioNo - 14/08/2013 06:41 - United States - Stockton

Today, I found out that my dad writes really weird and scary slash fiction involving characters from all of the CSI TV show franchises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 076

You deserved it 3 916

By Bedrest Blues - 24/12/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that we can’t be together because I’m not the person he fell in love with since I don’t do anything all day. I’m 6 months pregnant and on bed rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 565

You deserved it 431

By doodoobref - 31/07/2015 05:38 - United States - Lake Havasu City

Today, my parents sent me to the hospital because they thought I had diabetes. One of the symptoms is that you a pee a lot. The only reason I go to the bathroom so often is so I can masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 876

You deserved it 29 998

Sharing is caring

By blackrose - 08/08/2021 02:01

Today, I ran into an old friend of mine at the store. All was going fine, until she showed me her new fiancé. My now ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 73

Desperate man

By Anonymous - 23/02/2021 17:01

Today, I have been married for nearly 16 years. I've not had sex in over three years. My wife spends all hours chatting and gaming online with friends, and when she finally crashes into bed, she just goes to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 181

By tb351 - 28/05/2011 23:37 - United States

Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 403

You deserved it 8 440

Armchair psychiatrist

By jessie - 16/12/2020 20:58 - United States - Denver

Today, I was informed that I am, in fact, faking my depression. Why? Because I shower daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 56

By Anonymous - 01/12/2018 14:00

Today, we had our busiest day at work all year with lots of angry people calling, and a co-worker called in sick. I went to my local game shop after work, exhausted and upset, and guess who was at his usual table running a Dungeons and Dragons group, apparently not too sick to go out. Yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 949

You deserved it 183

By Bouh - 27/12/2012 04:04 - France - Paris

Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 159

You deserved it 9 291

By Damn - 06/05/2012 13:53 - Australia

Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 194

You deserved it 4 238

By deadman - 16/08/2013 01:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 579

You deserved it 30 076

By Too much skin? - 18/02/2018 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that I have “too much foreskin” and that I’d need to get circumcised if we were going to stay together. I’m already circumcised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 554

You deserved it 366

By michellekel - 04/07/2009 12:10 - France

Today, I went to the beach on the cote d'azur and the lifeguard told me that even though there were two jellyfish in the bay, it was safe to swim. Five minutes into swimming, I got stung twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 543

You deserved it 6 930

By smiler - 17/03/2010 16:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my wisdom teeth removed. The sympathetic words from my boyfriend asked if this meant I could open my mouth a bit wider for him now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 501

You deserved it 5 644

By J Money - 03/09/2018 04:00 - United States

Today, I'm being paid to watch paint dry. I work for military defense, and the door l just painted is an opening for a secure lab, so has to be monitored nonstop. This cannot happen until the paint dries. The U.S. government is literally paying me to watch paint dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 923

You deserved it 320

By Roma-Jay - 22/07/2012 14:13 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, while trying to look cute and playing with my hair in front of a boy, I pulled a piece of my hair extension out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 661

You deserved it 48 306

By rplovez - 05/09/2011 23:14 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by covering my car with post-it notes that read "it's you not me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 246

You deserved it 4 001

By Hair Fail - 22/10/2011 15:32 - United States

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 081

You deserved it 6 650

Keep your enemies closer

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 19:58 - Canada - Markham

Today, the night before an exam, I found out my boyfriend of one and a half years was cheating on me with a girl who has the same name as me. Not only that, I ended up consoling her for hours as she cried over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 180

By in_side_out - 14/01/2010 11:26 - Australia

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 418

You deserved it 2 864

By Anonymous - 07/03/2016 19:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, my boyfriend is mad at me for causing him to fail a science test. Apparently he thought I was serious when I told him that homo sapiens were extinct because they were "homo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 3 932

By fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz - 05/09/2013 16:39 - Sweden - Solna

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 399

You deserved it 5 021

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Madame_Javert 4

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:26

Well did you?

doctorhook86 24

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:28

I see no proof that you didn't. But then again, who doesn't like Han Solo?

Madame_Javert 4

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:26

Well did you?

PlaySpades 21

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:27

From her name, I'm guessing yes....

tinyj96 3

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:28

Is he chewbacca?

tennisrapper1 14

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:30

This comment will be moderated.

Codezlol 21

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 3:21

Was it based off of the fugitive?

Death_Hoe_Inn 10

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 3:49

That means that he'll got blamed for her death and I don't think she'd want that

0RedPenguin0 8

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 3:54

28- What?

CatchMe25 16

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 5:03

#30- if OP was referencing her boyfriend from The Fugitive, which is a Harrison Ford movie, then the boyfriend would be blamed for OP's death. To which 28 is right, OP wouldn't want that.

doctorhook86 24

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 5:47

25 & 43: Guys, they aren't getting it. Sometimes I think we're too old for this place.

Merylwen 24

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 9:17

Since her username is "busted", I guess she did.

lululatenight 28

Send a private message

Sunday 10 February 2013 5:44

He must be too good to be true :)

doctorhook86 24

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:28

I see no proof that you didn't. But then again, who doesn't like Han Solo?

gc327072 30

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:51

Yep. Scruffy looking nerf herders get all the chicks. As I always say FBHN

Snazzy_Snaz 17

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 3:07

Nothin better than a blaster at your side

graffitied_love 20

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 4:13

The proof is in the username as stated by a reply to comment 1

xXwolflegionXx 8

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 5:22

Or Indiana jones

doctorhook86 24

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 5:45

48: Or Indiana Jones indeed!

OhDearBetrayal 25

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 5:59

36- OP probably put that name out of sarcasm.

ironwords 8

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 7:26

I dunno, the president in Air Force one was a badass

laden_swallow09 34

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 15:14

60- Ahhh, yes. "GET OFF MY PLANE!"

PrettyKookieToo 8

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:29

Haha, at least your boyfriend is interesting enough to qualify as a Harrison Ford character.

LO388 7

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:31

Which could be a good thing or a VERY bad thing.

TheGianaJinx 0

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 4:01

How could anything with Harrison Ford be bad?

MURIKKA 11

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 4:02

31- You've obviously never seen Mosquito Coast.

TheGianaJinx 0

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 4:08

Oh... Yeah that. Never mind?

Iniezian 18

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 5:08

Take a look at OP's name. Apparently, her dad was right

TheGianaJinx 0

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 9:34

I didn't even look at OP's name. This changes my perspective on everything, OP is psycho.

PrettyKookieToo 8

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 11:29

44 - Oh god, I didn't notice the name... Well, this changes things.

Welshite 39

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:30

Was it Short Round?

jmelsha11 11

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 6:29

Docta Jones!

grahambertus 11

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 18:20

No it was chewbacca

greenie213 23

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:30

You had to have been lying. No one is as awesome as Harrison Ford.

buck33 14

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 9:13

Morgan Freeman

laden_swallow09 34

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 11:16

Liam Neeson? Clint Eastwood? CHUCK FREAKING NORRIS?? Come ON!

cattisanerd 9

Send a private message

Monday 29 June 2015 11:11

But Harrison Ford is an asshole

CheeseTron 15

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:30

Your boyfriend must be pretty badass then.

Rainbowjumper0 12

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:33

I think OP's username says it all

mbusey 20

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:35

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who noticed that

Iknowsomestuff 9

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:34

He figured you out around the time your boyfriend escaped from the Temple of Doom?

eternal7 6

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:52

Or when she said he'll be picking her up in his Millennium Falcon tonight.

Mister_Triangle 21

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 13:11

"He would have been here to meet you, but his plane was hijacked by terrorists. Also, he's the president."

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:34

Well, if you made up a boyfriend based off of Harrison Ford...at least you've got good taste, right?

Epikouros 31

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 2:38

Like Yoda looks your boyfriend?

StitchnLilo 24

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 3:24

Like yoda your boyfriend looks

Epikouros 31

Send a private message

Sunday 23 September 2012 19:49

Damn, if my D&D guild hears this, they're going to revoke my nerd card.

Nearly

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 3

Today, my girlfriend called off our plans to get married, all because I didn't “make enough time” while I was busy renovating the house for her parents to come over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 412

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 708

Add a comment - Reply to : #

Top comments

Comments