By david99021 - 19/03/2015 14:24 - Turkey - Ankara

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 632
You deserved it 2 534

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Read the bible until you fall asleep from boredom.

Apparently she thinks you need Jesus... Although I don't think he will make you fall asleep

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Apparently she thinks you need Jesus... Although I don't think he will make you fall asleep

Nah, Jesus totally will help OP fall asleep. Jesus reads the best bed time stories. Though the only sort of bad thing is he keeps bragging about his dad in them.

Jesus only helps those who help themselves to ambien.

Yeah. Jesus' second coming usually keeps people awake and sweaty... Wait

Sadly, Jesus isn't always the answer.

In the mothers defense, she probably thinks the world's most popular fairy tale may help op sleep.

The power of Christ

...isn't powerful enough to put OP to sleep.

Really? It's enough to put me to sleep? I sit through a sermon and I'm fighting to stay awake

Wow, some people take religion WAY too far.

Sorry I just arrived from Mars what is religion and why does it cause everyone to want to kill everyone else

Read the bible until you fall asleep from boredom.

My Christian mom says to start in Matthew 1:1

genesis, after the expulsion. all those begets!!!!

The bible can actually be very entertaining! Like that time when God sees some kids making fun of a prophet's baldness so he sends a bear out of the woods to kill them. That's like 40 kids, guys. Killed. What a riot!

Dude, God is so metal.

I wanted to make fun of the bible too, but I didn't Noah to say.

Ezekiel 48:2 so boring it inspired the "Bugger alle thisse" Bible.

did anyone think that maybe she wanted him to read the bible instead of going to the doctor so that he can work out his sleeping issues with God first? just because she told him to read the bible doesn't mean she wanted him to use it to fall asleep at night... some people do believe in using the bible for medicine instead of doctors..

yes #103 and that's really dumb.

That's okay if you think that, because I think otherwise. people are entitled they're own opinion. I just think its said that MOST of these people are bashing the bible and God. I pray yal find Jeebus.

#112 I don't know about these guys but I'm not really looking for him.. save your prayers for someone else ;);)

#112, with all due respect, you can't expect to be cured of AIDS by praying to god. Biology and science just doesn't work that way. Believe what you want to believe, but if you tear a tendon/ break a bone, see how far you'll get without a doctor.

103 people who believe in faith healing are the reason children suffer and die. I really hope they change that law to lock people up for harming children by refusing to take them to a doctor

My mother told me the exact same thing, so I took her advice and it works wonders! I usually get three verses in before I fall asleep from pure boredom.

Tell her to bash it over your head instead, may help drastically.

If the Bible can't put you to sleep...You're in BIG trouble! Good luck OP.

Stop down voting this he's obviously just joking about the bible being boring

The power of Christ compels you to go to sleep!

This is great advice :D Though watching The Exorcist can cause up to 24 hours of sleeplessness through sheer terror; eventually that sleeplessness will catch up to OP and they'll sleep like a baby!

Nothing better to put you to sleep than reading about the promotion of rape and pillaging!

Keep your opinions to your self regarding religion you freaking twat.

actually, 21 the bible does promote and condone slavery, rape, genocide, human sacrifice. it's not a matter of opinion. there are verses telling slave masters how to treat their slaves and for slaves to obey their masters. there are verses that says if a man were to rape a woman he must pay the father and he is then married to the woman he raped. what #10 said is true. luckily it's all a work of fiction, otherwise we'd have to worry.

people downvoting this obviously never read the bible. i don't care if you bury both our comments, what he said is true

and murder. Dont forget murder. Leviticus

Jesus is always the answer lol...