Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. Being dumped wasn't the...

By Anonymous - 19/11/2018 17:30

Today, I told my boyfriend I love him. Being dumped wasn't the reaction I was expecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2748

You deserved it

177

Favorite

Love

Understandable

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

Car Wars

By Anonymous - 29/6/2016 01:51

Today, I received a notification that someone opened a fraudulent credit card in my name. I'm not sure what's worse: that they were approved at all with my terrible credit, or that I was denied for this exact card when I applied out of desperation last month to pay for my service dog's surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14396

You deserved it

890

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/5/2014 22:47 - United States - Sparks

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47307

You deserved it

3797

Favorite

By anonymous - 16/10/2014 20:53 - United States - Canton

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39023

You deserved it

4037

Favorite

By - 25/1/2017 16:00

Today, after months of delays, my home renovation is nearing completion. Well, it was nearing completion. Last night, a pipe burst, flooding the entire house. The water damage will cost more to repair than the entire renovation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3224

You deserved it

212

Favorite

By Goodie - 9/9/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I found out my ex bought a digital camera, an iPod, and a large flat-screen TV, all purchased with the alimony I'm paying him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34650

You deserved it

7728

Favorite

By inosehowthatgotthere - 10/2/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9322

You deserved it

52418

Favorite

By rainbows? more like shitstorms - 17/8/2012 00:22 - United States

Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26646

You deserved it

2037

Favorite

By JPlays - 13/9/2016 03:31 - United States - Henderson

Today, after days of working with a client on plans for a project, I received a message half way through completion saying the deal was off because "my prices were so low it seemed like a scam". FML

I agree, your life sucks

12436

You deserved it

939

Favorite

By :$ - 6/7/2012 21:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the next two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24439

You deserved it

7480

Favorite

By Deadbed - 4/5/2019 16:00

Today, I had sex with my wife. After we finished and were cuddling, she said, "This is the part I like." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1728

You deserved it

574

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/7/2014 02:49 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44182

You deserved it

4773

Favorite

By drugbaby - 18/12/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, I was talking to my aunt about my brother's recent arrest for drug possession. I proudly told her that I have never done drugs of any kind. Her response: "Well, actually you were born addicted to heroin, so you had a drug problem long before your brother." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37958

You deserved it

3707

Favorite

By ren - 13/1/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29290

You deserved it

1936

Favorite

By Michelle - 1/9/2010 08:27 - Netherlands

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33890

You deserved it

3427

Favorite

By dangit - 11/9/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22940

You deserved it

14099

Favorite

By ckatia - 30/8/2016 09:29 - France - Paris

Today, my eyesight is getting terrible. I saw a white cat in front of my house, so I went up to it. To my delight it didn’t move, so I bent down to stroke it. Wrong call, it was a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14666

You deserved it

2184

Favorite

By Kitty - 1/6/2009 18:49 - United States

Today, I was working as a waitress at this pub. It was dead. After 4 hours I had only made 5$ in tips. A friendly couple came in and complimented EVERYTHING down to the freshness of the lemons in their tea. The bill came to $50. They left me a $5 gift card to starbucks. I don't drink coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49528

You deserved it

7631

Favorite

By biomajor - 7/2/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36173

You deserved it

3553

Favorite

By Anonymous - 27/2/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35777

You deserved it

4259

Favorite

By oncehipjr - 3/10/2014 19:04 - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48231

You deserved it

4507

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/4/2015 22:52 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18090

You deserved it

36248

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/10/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, after we got home from the doctor's office, my mom checked the voicemail. Loud and clear, we both heard my boyfriend's break-up message. My parents had already forbidden me from dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19596

You deserved it

27613

Favorite

By stupidapperently - 1/2/2013 04:06 - United States

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31577

You deserved it

2391

Favorite

By Anonymoose - 8/9/2015 19:12 - United States - West Long Branch

Today, I found out I wasn't cool enough to be invited to a college party that happened last night. The one in charge of inviting people was my girlfriend of two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25151

You deserved it

2084

Favorite

By rice_cake - 22/5/2009 10:52 - Australia

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop and a guy stops in front of me and says "Oh very nice. How much?" I reply "You couldn't afford me." An old guy sitting next to me says "I bet I could" and puts his hand on my leg. I forfeited the bus and walked home in the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59060

You deserved it

25931

Favorite

By insulted - 15/11/2011 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was denied membership to an all-women's gym. Why? Because "men are not permitted to join". I am and have always been female. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40985

You deserved it

3945

Favorite

By ab - 9/10/2011 05:11 - Canada

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35339

You deserved it

2562

Favorite

By Kiera Ayala - 8/6/2019 12:00

Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1492

You deserved it

273

Favorite

By ew - 12/4/2016 17:53 - United States

Today, I found my shower loofa near the bathroom trash. My husband has a habit of throwing things out of the shower if they are in his way, so I thought nothing of it and took at bath with it. When he came home from work, he said he had thrown it away because he used it to clean the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22021

You deserved it

3020

Favorite

By J-Sauce - 22/2/2016 23:32 - Canada - Salmon Arm

Today, a girl I like asked me to a concert, saying she had an extra ticket. I ended up being the third wheel with her and her boyfriend. Had to pay $60 for the ticket too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18395

You deserved it

2192

Favorite

By Anonymous - 11/5/2012 19:30 - Sweden - G?teborg

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

29672

You deserved it

4204

Favorite

By shecrieseverytimeIremindher - 7/6/2016 22:29 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I looked at the revenue from my Etsy shop. After hours and hours of hard work, I was ecstatic to find that I made about $560 so far. That is, until I remembered that it all went to my mom's bank account and I paid all the fees out of my own pocket. And yes, she won't give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13633

You deserved it

1586

Favorite

By Unsuspecting - 16/4/2016 12:23 - United States

Today, I started my period almost a week earlier than I expected to. I also happened to be at the beach with a guy that I really liked when it started. He was the one who noticed, and he informed me by saying that we couldn't go back in the water or we would be eaten by sharks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23415

You deserved it

1718

Favorite

By itisobviouseinstein - 30/9/2015 03:31 - United States - New York

Today, a bible toting evangelist on the street ambushed me and asked me what my religion was. I wear a hijab. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24699

You deserved it

3664

Favorite

By Overlord247 - 28/6/2019 07:05 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, due to sleep deprivation, I wasn't paying attention to where the elevator stopped. I walked into a flat, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. It was the flat just beneath mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1345

You deserved it

425

Favorite

By Aunjy - 5/5/2013 20:49 - United States - Marmora

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56413

You deserved it

4261

Favorite

By veiny - 21/4/2015 13:48 - United States - Kingsport

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31523

You deserved it

3752

Favorite

By hot_mess88 - 4/7/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52962

You deserved it

2567

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/4/2020 20:00

And today on Maury…

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2392

You deserved it

175

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/11/2014 21:54 - United States - North Adams

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38348

You deserved it

3703

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7725706 - Monday 19 November 2018 18:37

This really depends on how long you've been together....

By manb91uk | 22

#7725725 - Monday 19 November 2018 19:54

Sounds like someone has comm.... Commit... Issues with comm...

Sorry, I can't commit to this comment?

COMMENTS

By Shawnie Gallant | 24

#7725695 - Monday 19 November 2018 17:39

He wasn’t worth it

By Kurliez408 | 32

#7725706 - Monday 19 November 2018 18:37

This really depends on how long you've been together....

By RichardPencil | 28

#7725721 - Monday 19 November 2018 19:49

You probably had an FWB and you broke the rules by catching feelings.

By manb91uk | 22

#7725725 - Monday 19 November 2018 19:54

Sounds like someone has comm.... Commit... Issues with comm...

Sorry, I can't commit to this comment?

ARISKomuniszt | 24

#7725792 - Monday 19 November 2018 22:44

Seems you did eventually, to the interrogative

By DraftHail614 | 17

#7725732 - Monday 19 November 2018 20:06

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

By Zachary David Philip | 12

#7725744 - Monday 19 November 2018 20:38

sounds like a reasonable reaction.

By Ksweety_fml | 27

#7725767 - Monday 19 November 2018 21:35

That sucks

By TergesteCity | 11

#7725790 - Monday 19 November 2018 22:36

Probably better without someone like him. Don't worry OP you'll find someone who is not afraid of hearing "i love you".

By AmbrosiaFan | 18

#7725817 - Tuesday 20 November 2018 0:12

How long were you dating?