Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen...

By MyPrecious... - 11/3/2015 00:33 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20760

You deserved it

28579

Favorite

Love

Family values

Ghosted

Rich people problems

By gabbykinz13 - 8/3/2012 21:48 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15997

You deserved it

56955

Favorite

By Noname - 25/2/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48537

You deserved it

4150

Favorite

By Black Cat 13 - 4/9/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36005

You deserved it

3493

Favorite

By lonelyguy - 28/11/2009 03:02 - Puerto Rico

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32713

You deserved it

8007

Favorite

By guaranteed service - 7/9/2012 06:49 - United States

Today, I wrote an e-mail to a friend stating how hot my client was. I waited for her response, but received a response from my client stating, "I would readdress this accordingly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

8102

You deserved it

34314

Favorite

By ElamentalAngel - 6/5/2009 17:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my 3 year old nephew was sitting on my knee at the computer. He was annoying me as he kept on pressing all the buttons. To scare him off I did a creepy voice in his ear that makes him cry. He turned round and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17285

You deserved it

83691

Favorite

By Pooping - 29/8/2012 19:19 - Canada - Aldergrove

Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21767

You deserved it

1883

Favorite

By iheartmorons - 14/1/2012 14:31 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27674

You deserved it

6468

Favorite

By spleechick - 28/1/2010 02:41 - United States

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18250

You deserved it

24517

Favorite

By Preggie - 7/7/2011 04:04 - Singapore

Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured to the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is heavily pregnant. I am just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35773

You deserved it

23483

Favorite

By nixwolfwood - 19/12/2016 21:14

Today, I woke up to a fog. Literally. A pipe burst in my apartment and scalding water was everywhere. To make matters worse, when I called maintenance he told me he'd come by later, hung up on me, and turned his phone off. He did eventually show up, but it was 5 hours later, well after I'd paid a plumber $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7380

You deserved it

509

Favorite

By Zanquis - 30/12/2016 19:04

Today, I got stuck with a water damaged kitchen. The manufactor says their warranty doesn't cover it as it's user error, my insurance says they don't cover it as it's a manufacturer error. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3038

You deserved it

194

Favorite

By pimplesapparently - 18/2/2016 20:17 - United States - New York

Today, I sent my friend a snapchat without any makeup on. She asked what filter I used because it made my face look all red and blotchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21084

You deserved it

2750

Favorite

By ad4 - 31/1/2011 23:11 - United States

Today, I was woken up to my family surrounding me with breakfast in bed and sweet 16 balloons. My birthday is in 3 months, and I will be 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42062

You deserved it

4094

Favorite

By lextoast - 26/7/2015 18:15 - Rwanda

Today, I went on a fabulous date with a really cute, smart, funny guy. He only mentioned his dad, so when I asked about his mom, I asked if they were divorced. She'd died of breast cancer so I felt awful. Then I asked if his dad had ever remarried. His stepmom had died of cancer too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31647

You deserved it

2660

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/5/2013 20:17 - United States - Canton

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

I agree, your life sucks

49960

You deserved it

6386

Favorite

By geena - 27/10/2012 06:42 - United States - Washington

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28934

You deserved it

7922

Favorite

By Mojosahomo - 10/1/2018 17:30 - United States - Salt Lake City

Thanksssss

Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4040

You deserved it

556

Favorite

By nycgirl424 - 5/2/2009 22:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

69467

You deserved it

3148

Favorite

By good husband - 30/4/2013 16:03 - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43713

You deserved it

4593

Favorite

By - 10/12/2018 22:00

Today I had a narrow escape with a nailgun that nailed my workboot to the floor but luckily missed my foot. After I calmed down and changed boots I returned to the nailgun, started working again and barely 30 seconds later I managed to nail my thumb to a piece of wood. Man, I'm bad at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2278

You deserved it

1172

Favorite

By poorgirl - 17/5/2016 13:03 - United States

Today, I was reminded what poverty is like when I had to choose between buying food and buying pads. Now, I have to take constant bathroom breaks and wipe off my pad. I don't get paid until after my period ends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18107

You deserved it

1666

Favorite

By argh - 1/2/2010 13:17 - United States

Today, my mother gave my daughter a behavior chart. I noticed that "drinking beer" was at the top of one of the columns. It's a chart for my daughter to use on me so my mother can judge my parenting skills. I am currently losing a sticker right now for being on the computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34587

You deserved it

4948

Favorite

By duncanisgey - 4/3/2011 22:57 - Canada

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34579

You deserved it

6371

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/12/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28028

You deserved it

5314

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/5/2019 02:00

Today, I got lost in a car park, late at night, unable to find my car. I started panicking, so I called my dad. I sat down to catch my breath. After about 2 minutes, I heard a noise. I looked up to see a guy jerking off while watching me. He smiled, so I instinctively threw my backpack at his junk and he ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2202

You deserved it

241

Favorite

By Anon. - 28/11/2009 12:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to look at my positive eBay feedback to feel loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35931

You deserved it

6192

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/7/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I left my dog alone in the house for ten minutes while I took a shower. When I got out I found a mess of dust all over the floor and her ripping up a package that was supposed to be sent to my aunt. It contained my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50696

You deserved it

7833

Favorite

By Notpunny - 18/4/2016 22:58 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18087

You deserved it

7782

Favorite

By xxxchelsiexxx - 6/2/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29273

You deserved it

7763

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/8/2017 16:00

Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3276

You deserved it

1037

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/6/2012 14:59 - Ireland - Cork

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29528

You deserved it

4646

Favorite

By dickface - 28/3/2011 20:13 - Canada

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60591

You deserved it

29916

Favorite

By JB - 9/9/2012 08:34 - United States - Somerset

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

27436

You deserved it

4879

Favorite

By "willkftw" - 14/4/2019 16:00

Today, despite putting all the food in the fridge, taking all the rubbish outside, cleaning the house top to bottom and setting up bait, we're still dealing with a bloody huge ant problem. I've now got a rash all over from being bitten while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1843

You deserved it

142

Favorite

By soapisyourfriend - 16/2/2016 06:53 - United States - Ashland

Today, cable was installed at my house and the cable guy smelled like some horrid mix of cabbage and cheese. I'm pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. I've sprayed air freshener, lit candles, and opened windows despite the cold outside. I can't get rid of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19786

You deserved it

1391

Favorite

By offrampmotel - 28/3/2017 14:00

Today, my 4-year-old son discovered that he really likes masturbating. So much in fact, that he took pictures of it with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6207

You deserved it

690

Favorite

By dole_out_the_fml - 20/5/2009 17:36 - Canada

Today, I spent two hours making dinner for my boyfriend's family. When I brought it over to their house they said "thanks" and didn't bother to invite me to stay to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59092

You deserved it

4558

Favorite

By ApparentDrugAddict - 8/8/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42756

You deserved it

7297

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/2/2011 21:18 - United States

Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33017

You deserved it

4470

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By haileyrows | 26

#6228854 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 14:02

That's still better than having actually lost the ring in the garbage

By jigglypuff34 | 16

#6228865 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 14:09

Let me give you a hand with that. It's right where you left it.

COMMENTS

By Hydranoid4444 | 3

#6228846 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 14:00

red foreman voice: "dumbass"

ExtremeEncounter | 32

#6228861 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 14:05

Better than actually losing it, I guess. You obviously cared about it if you were willing to do that. I'm sure he's happy to be with you.

SpreadTHEKILLER | 14

#6228862 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 14:06

#12. Don't thread jack.

Unixxxion | 22

#6230826 - Friday 13 March 2015 12:18

well shit... :") bahahaha cant help it i guess.

By ihartmytdi | 23

#6228848 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 14:01

I can only imagine how you'll be with kids

AnnaDeWitt | 27

#6228892 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 14:26

When I was a baby my mother did the exact same thing: she was in a grocery store and saw I wasn't in the stroller and starting freaking out, before realizing she was carrying me the whole time.

Deku_Cutie | 12

#6229021 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 16:47

"OMG I CAN'T FIND MY BABY! I MUST OF LEFT HER AT DAYCARE!" meanwhile baby is in the stroller she's pushing.

ihartmytdi | 23

#6229048 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 17:04

People just need to learn to sloooow dooown :P

So much multi-tasking going on that our minds easily get scattered and distracted from what's right in front of us.

By lazyninja334 | 15

#6228849 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 14:01

what matters is that you still have it
OP

By Techno101 | 13

#6228850 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 14:01

Now that's just not right

By maddieex | 14

#6228852 - Wednesday 11 March 2015 14:02

"Today, my girlfriend emptied a weeks worth of thrash all over the floor because she thought she lost the ring I gave her, while it was on the other hand the whole time. FML"