By nipped - 16/09/2009 13:24 - Australia

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 970
You deserved it 88 294

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you = fail dog = win YDI for picking on ur dog! good boy

creepy that you were naked and playing with your dog..

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By that token, you deserve the flak you're gonna get for being a 'yay 1st post yeehawww' dumbass.

blow me. its an unwritten rule that you have to say first if you are first. you're just jealous.

... blow you...? Dear fucking christ, nooblet, did you think that one up all on your own? And no, no it isn't an unwritten rule, unless of course you happen to belong to Retards Anonymous, in which case, go right ahead, I guess it makes your miniscule penis feel a little longer. As for being jealous, I really couldn't summon the emotion; I've had first post several times before and not once felt the need to make a retarded statement such as 'first!'. I guess what I'm trying to say to you (perhaps not in your native Cretinese) is 'please just go hang yourself, cleanse the human gene pool a little'...

Awesome! An e-bully? Why do you even care? I would be an intelligent human worthy of life had I just left off the "first bitches"? Lol. If that's your logic, then you're a complete retard. The only reason I put that is because I knew some moron like, well you, would come on here criticizing me. I think it's hilarious when you dumbasses jump on people for saying first and I had the opportunity so I took it. Big deal. Btw, what would saying first have to do with a penis? Ever stop to think that you are as big of a jackass as me for replying to my dumbass---- but intentionally stupid---- post? People typically hate the morons who reply to the "first" post more than the person who actually puts first. Geez. Lighten up Francis.

Ah, yes, it was all an elaborate ploy to draw people out to respond to you! Of coooouuuurrrrrssseee! And for the record, the only reason I bothered was because of your 'dumbass' comment. You've pretty much just admitted desperately craving attention, so why not draw the parallel with your penis size? It's the same type of insecurity, so please, PLEASE just shut it. You've made your 'point', so go troll some forum or something. I'm light-hearted enough already anyway, it's just your fail seems to extend to not possessing the ability to distinguish sarcasm from anger.

Pretty much. Everyone knows, except you obviously, that the person who puts first is doing it intentionally just to piss off other people..... not out of insecurity.... but OK. This is exactly the kind of shit that makes me want to put first again. lmfao.

Why? Because you're getting just about the only attention you ever do get in life? xD Whatever. This little exchange is over.

me= wonderful and first. yew=not wonderful and definitely not first. :)

"Whatever. This little echange is over." That's the best you could come up with? I'm sorry but that's a petty end to an already pathetic argument. You might be the more insecure one here, hiding up on your high horse.

Kay, you're awesome. way to hit this annoyance with a verbal beatdown.

I always thought someone who talks about other guys penis size was self conscious of their own.... although, I'm not even sure that person is a man. oh well. makes no difference to me.

#39: You're sorely missing the point if you interpreted my statements as being part of an argument. And as for the "echange" as you put it, being over, that's simply because nothing the troll says or I say to him will lead anywhere but more insults. _The_Master_: Thanks, I guess :P Some people are truly persistent with their pseudo-righteous bullshit.

I don't think you deserve it Who woulda thought their dog can rip off nipples o_O

lol. im a troll? hahaha

Actually, it's a written (repeatedly, all over) rule of the internet that people who post "first" are enormous tools. And damn straight you're a troll. A successful one too, I'm sure you know.

dick_gozinya_ dont bother replying to kaysl hes just a retarded, stuck up whore, cant even understand a simple joke.....

*don't *KaySL *he's (incorrect anyway) *can't Look, I know you're only 16, but erm... a can of utter fail, anyone?

Lmao chill out KaySL, stop being such a grammar cop.

lol it's a slow night, I'm bored, and the guy's post is vacuous. Sue me. I hope your day is passing more eventfully?

Lmao. Indeed

How come everyone's on the trolls side?

Because the 'troll' in this case posed a fairly decent comeback, which was probably unexpected. Showed a little more intelligence than they were originally given. This 'Kay' person went a little overboard trying to show superiority. But, as they state, they were supposedly just bored so it's all good.

I'm not sure, enough people voted the troll's comments down :/ But whatever, it wasn't my intent to prove superiority lol, as I said, I was bored and somewhat worked up about other stuff. I'd apologise to said troll if he hadn't descended to using such unoriginal and personal insults though.

Both are equal tools here. If you think #1 is an attention seeker, then stop giving him attention. End of story. Now, to something actually relevant, OP, what kind of douchebag hits their dog's paws "for fun"? You totally deserve it, especially since you weren't expecting your dog to react to it and just take it.

This whole train of replies completely flew off the tracks.

TRAIN of replies!! flew off the TRACKS!!! I see what you did there. That's clever...You're clever...

So because I posted "first bitches" ALONG with an actual response, that makes me a troll? Totally disregard the other aspects of my post and my other posts..... and just label me as "troll"? Hmmm.

No, I think it was more the almost unfathomable stupidity you laced into your mainly insult-ridden ripostes, actually.

I agree with shaBAMalex. Don't be so anal about grammar online. And what's so wrong with saying "first" when you get first post? Honestly, the people who bitch about first posters are worse than the first posters themselves.

I agree with shaBAMalex. Don't be so anal about grammar online. And what's so wrong with saying "first" when you get first post? Honestly, the people who bitch about first posters are worse than the first posters themselves.

Because what the fuck is the point of making a first post that says "first"? Obviously that's been pointed out since the damn posts are numbered. And dick_gozinya_, why do you feel the need to point out fifteen-million times that you "intentionally" pissed people off by making a "first" post? If you're not insecure, as you claim, you really shouldn't need to prove you did it purposely, hmm? And as for the grammar thing, if there's no one here to correct it than brainless wastes of space will wreak havoc upon the English language. We understand it's online and we're not writing a literary novel. But omg iz it rly 2 hard 2 type a cuple of xtra letters 2 actually sound sumwut intlignt?

has anyone notice that most of the people who disagree with 'kay' in this post have been buried? just a bit odd, since they arent even all aboout the same things...

witchcraft: I think it's funny to watch the replies. That's why I did it. And I'm pretty sure that I only pointed out that I did it purposely once... maybe twice..... and that was only in response to Kay saying that I did it to relieve my insecurity. I don't think I did it "fifteen million times." Just saying. And yea, grammar is nice.... but this: "iz it rly 2 hard 2 type a cuple of xtra letters 2 actually sound sumwut intlignt?" isn't the type of thing Kay was pointing out. He/she was pointing out things like leaving an apostrophe out of "can't." Gimme a break and lay of that guys grammar. Not everyone feels the need to be politically correct and gramatically perfect at all times. Geez. You guys need to just relax.

So the moral of the story: Eight or nine times out of ten, people are going to say "First!" when they get the first comment. If you don't like it, ignore it. Getting upset and pointing out why this isn't cool won't stop people from doing it, especially when massive arguments like this one just draw attention. If it bothers you, suck it up and move on. People are always going to do it. You've only wasted one second of your life reading it, so it's not like some great injustice has taken place. Everyone happy again? :]

I don't understand why people get so worked up about someone posting the word "first." I feel nothing when I see it -- no annoyance nor happiness. It's just a word. Why are you so bothered by it when it doesn't affect you in any way? If the first poster wrote any other word, like "FUCK" no one would bat an eye, but write "FIRST" and the commenters go nuts. It's ridiculous.

Im part of Retards Anonymous. But really, I don't get why some people get so pissed off at people saying, "FIRST!!!". They're being immature, so what. Im not saying thats the case here. In this FML the person who was first was a complete douche bag and had nothing to add to the conversation at all.

Everyone would have thought that. Have you ever gazed into a dog's mouth? It is full of teeth, and it is ready to rupture flesh.

Arguing over the interent is like the Special Olympics... Even if you win, you're still retarded.

you two are losers. arguing over the internet. no balls at all

tweetbaby14 18

kaysl ingore them they just wanted someone to talk to cuz they obviously have no friends if they chose to be annoying for some human interaction. just sayin

You cannot spell you spelled "YOU" wrong and you are calling him the retard.

48 yes yes you are

Don't mess with the beast

Don't fuck with da bitches. They always win.

And bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

its hos with tricks. Duh

Hey, The_Freak_90, lick on these nuts and suck the dick. Get the fuck out after you're done.

I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one. (i_reply_with_lyrics, where were you on that one?)

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You.... Need to learn to spell. And write.... And be human.... Get off my planet.

*for *your

Is it really that hard to put a "yo" in front of "ur".?

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wow, you dont even deserve to have pets you little piece of shit fucker.

Lrn2senseofhumour

Learn to spell and space smarty.

I'm going to find ur house and steal ur cat and nurse it back to health and give it food cuz I can tell u abuse ur cat and don't care what it eats as long as it lives

jerk why would u hit an animal

This is what is known as an asshole don't become one!

Way to make it known that you're an asshole

You don't deserve a pet

@69 Learn to spell

@6 That is so f'd up.

I agree you deserve it for being mean to your dog. You're lucky all you had was your nipple ripped off.

hahaha ydi

you = fail dog = win YDI for picking on ur dog! good boy

i love this one your poor nipple oh well 1 for dog 0 for nippless man YDI

creepy that you were naked and playing with your dog..

What's wrong with guys not wearing a shirt?? It's still hot weather.