Today i stopped at Starbucks to get a tea before work and was... - FML

By NeedTea - United States

Today i stopped at Starbucks to get a tea before work and was surprised that there wasn't a line. As i was leaving the automatic door closed knocking my out of my hand. I headed back in only to discover a huge line had formed and they made me pay for the replacement that their door spilled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1897

You deserved it

722

Tweet

Share

Dangling modifier

Fake News

Unreasonable

By MEW - United States

Frustration level: infinity

Today, I was working drive thru and took a huge order. When the people pulled around to the window, they handed me a stack of coupons. None of the coupons were even related to what they ordered. They made me change their order to fit the coupons because they couldn't read. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44310

You deserved it

3009

Tweet

Share

By radiant - United States

Today, I told my mom I want to get liposuction. She said "Whats the point? Its not like you can get lipo on your face!". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24911

You deserved it

4229

Tweet

Share

By AE86Turbo - United States

Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29710

You deserved it

28456

Tweet

Share

By well then... - United States

Today, I was approached by a girl who called me a slut for sleeping with her boyfriend, then punched me in the face. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75357

You deserved it

3366

Tweet

Share

By annoyedguy - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18398

You deserved it

96117

Tweet

Share

By Wwiimaniac - United States - Dallas

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26187

You deserved it

5480

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Tallahassee

Today, my teacher's comments on my essay read, "I know it's college, but you use a lot of unnecessary words with a lot of syllables." He basically scolded me for having a complex vocabulary. I go to an accredited state university. Nothing says "America" like under-achieving professors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27991

You deserved it

8221

Tweet

Share

By singlesummer - United States - Compton

Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41888

You deserved it

2562

Tweet

Share

By kennyjhynes - United States

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44861

You deserved it

5270

Tweet

Share

By feminismlol - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to my first meeting at the university women's group, excited to become a more involved feminist. The first item on the meeting's agenda? The upcoming bake sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12809

You deserved it

29115

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25670

You deserved it

2929

Tweet

Share

By loner - United States - Madison

Today, I noticed that I get more calls from people who've dialed the wrong number than I do from people I actually know. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32206

You deserved it

2803

Tweet

Share

By tiffylueg

Today, my allergies are killing me. I took a Benadryl to help, but the allergies are still here. I'm now chugging Mountain Dew at 9:30 in the morning to keep from falling asleep at my desk. Thanks for nothing Benadryl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12156

You deserved it

1483

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, instead of watching a movie like a normal family, we performed random acts of kindness by handing out roses to total strangers in the freezing cold. No one would take them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30486

You deserved it

6126

Tweet

Share

By bcoper - Switzerland - Luzern

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

25179

You deserved it

2617

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my husband got some junk mail. My grandma brought the mail in and let my 5-year-old open it because it was just junk. It turns out it was a catalog from an adult toys shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23091

You deserved it

3307

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Chicago

Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41774

You deserved it

2931

Tweet

Share

By MicachuPikachu - United States - Independence

Today, to make it seem like the customers actually liked me, I told my coworkers I got tipped $12. Sadly, that "$12 tip" came from my own pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36942

You deserved it

13524

Tweet

Share

By waaah - Australia

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36328

You deserved it

2726

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I got a hold of the girl he was cheating on me with. She was as oblivious as I was of each other's existence. Apparently, the fucker told her he lived with his "sister," who's "a bitch and makes his life impossible". He was referring to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29565

You deserved it

2238

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Cleanliness is next to someone else

Today, we got new seats in my English class; I was seated next to a boy that I don't know very well. When I sat down, he informed me that he is "opposed" to brushing his teeth. I thought he was kidding. Then he started breathing with his mouth open. These are our seats for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1694

You deserved it

97

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had to be go to the ER after I fell on a rake. After having stiches put in, my Mom wanted me to go to the store with her. My friend saw me at the store and thought it would be funny to rip off the band aid because she thought I was hiding a zit. She ripped out my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67497

You deserved it

3018

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/5/2021 10:59 - China

You'll get some eventually

Today, my mom woke me up from a wet dream, because I was moaning too loudly. I'm a 32 year-old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

822

You deserved it

267

Tweet

Share

By thinkimquitting - Australia - Yarraville

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31922

You deserved it

2558

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Delta

Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40625

You deserved it

2948

Tweet

Share

By WipeYaBooty - United States - Franklin

Today, I woke up with chest pain. It hurt just to breathe, but my parents made me go to school. We're sitting in the emergency room now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4579

You deserved it

253

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/12/2020 05:02

Gotta start somewhere

Today, I found out my parents paid my "best friend" to be my friend for the past 7 years. She's my only friend too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

930

You deserved it

80

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States - Gainesville

Today, I discovered that the vitamin I've been taking for hair growth actually works really well. Unfortunately, it only works on my leg hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19626

You deserved it

1819

Tweet

Share

By chassezlenaturel - Belgium

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

33920

You deserved it

5551

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Padstow

Today, my friend asked if she could come over to my place. Since it's my birthday tomorrow, I said sure. Turns out she just wants to copy all my notes for our upcoming exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43470

You deserved it

3875

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14273

Phew, glad it wasn't me

1472

Tweet

Share

By JackSteely

Today, I found a wallet containing an ID card. I managed to track down the owner, who now is threatening to call the police if I don't return the 400 dollars that he insists were also in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37802

You deserved it

2817

Tweet

Share

By Hungrytoothbrush - United States

Today, I spat up blood and had horrible chest pain. My mom still made me go to school, claiming she needed to take the cat to the vet instead of me to the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35098

You deserved it

2392

Tweet

Share

By ugh - United States - Milford

Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12328

You deserved it

1099

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

I agree, your life sucks

31779

You deserved it

17683

Tweet

Share

By svet - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32318

You deserved it

83812

Tweet

Share

By cupcakemonsteryu - France

Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36726

You deserved it

7473

Tweet

Share

By Actrent

Today, the first gift I opened was from my uncle. It was $80 in clothes that I'd bought for myself a week earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8147

You deserved it

685

Tweet

Share

By icanteven - United States - Florence

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51780

You deserved it

2907

Tweet

Share

By ImaSneakyNinja - United States - Madison Heights

Today, I asked a girl that I've been talking to for a couple of weeks out, but immediately got rejected because I'm left handed. I guess I'll leave that part out next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9683

You deserved it

806

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Ayesha Mahmood | 1

#7741244 - Friday 21 December 2018 13:28

Does no one proof read these? The grammar is more painful than the FML.

By MatthewK | 28

#7741487 - Saturday 22 December 2018 2:58

I don’t believe this. I go to Starbucks everyday and I’ve never seen someone have to pay for a spilled drink. I’ve accidentally spilt a few drinks myself and got replacements for free. Also, if you spill a drink, you don’t have to wait in line again. In my experiences, Starbucks gives away free drinks A LOT.

COMMENTS

By Ayesha Mahmood | 1

#7741244 - Friday 21 December 2018 13:28

Does no one proof read these? The grammar is more painful than the FML.

Reply

raven_of_azarath | 34

#7741366 - Friday 21 December 2018 20:09

The only problem is a few commas are missing.

Reply

jellenwood | 34

#7742433 - Monday 24 December 2018 6:36

Read it again.

By MBrabs1996 | 22

#7741338 - Friday 21 December 2018 17:55

Starbucks has this “make the moment right” policy so that’s appalling! I work for Starbucks and we would have given you a replacement for free, no questions asked!

By MatthewK | 28

#7741487 - Saturday 22 December 2018 2:58

I don’t believe this. I go to Starbucks everyday and I’ve never seen someone have to pay for a spilled drink. I’ve accidentally spilt a few drinks myself and got replacements for free. Also, if you spill a drink, you don’t have to wait in line again. In my experiences, Starbucks gives away free drinks A LOT.

By GUYMAINE | 16

#7741518 - Saturday 22 December 2018 4:41

"Their door spilled" not the person who cant operate a door?

By fde2blknimout | 18

#7741559 - Saturday 22 December 2018 7:03

So the doors were not there when you walked in?

By fde2blknimout | 18

#7741560 - Saturday 22 December 2018 7:06

Do you just move as slow as your mind works? Are you going to blame the wall next time when you walk into it and spill your drink?

By fde2blknimout | 18

#7741561 - Saturday 22 December 2018 7:10

You people should make your own coffee if you cant go into a starbucks without spilling your drink every time. Just head to a nursing home immediately.