Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at... - FML

By peoplesuck - 14/5/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently I feel asleep with my headphones as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML

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Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy…

Headache

A beautiful truck decoration

By NorwegianMadman - 22/12/2016 11:55

Today, nearly Christmas, my dad got mad because I don't have enough money for holiday festivities. I can't afford things because I haven't gotten my paycheck yet. I work for my dad. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/7/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The cop was hot so I flirted with him as much as I could. But when he came back to the car he still gave me a ticket. Feeling desperate I said, "I thought you didn't give tickets to pretty girls." His response: "We don't." FML

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By soapysoap - 10/12/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, I received an early Christmas gift from my boyfriend of ten months. It was soap. In a few days he will be receiving his very expensive specialized car horn he has wanted for years, while I will be enjoying my new bar of Walmart brand soap, which has already begun to give me a rash. FML

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By calliefml - 26/4/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML

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By squishylog - 12/8/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/2/2011 06:40 - Australia

Today, I sent an email to a girl I like about how I really feel about her. She later replied "Real funny, tell Michael to change his password!" FML

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By Anonymous - 22/3/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

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By Anonymous - 16/3/2017 02:00

Today, after sweeping up a spill, I managed to break the cupboard door. With my head. FML

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By Old? - 14/1/2009 23:20 - United States

Today, a student of mine used the phrase "well, you know, like back in your day" about defining "going out". I'm only 24. FML

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By pandaboo - 29/7/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML

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By Anonymous - 16/9/2018 12:30 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, I just landed in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, I also took off from Washington DC an hour ago. FML

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By PseudoHappiness - 18/7/2016 00:16 - United States

Today, I found out my debit card information has been compromised and that someone in San Jose, CA has completely drained my bank account. Joke's on them though. I was already broke as fuck. FML

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By gabess - 4/1/2009 01:59 - France

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

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By wotwzombie - 11/3/2009 18:22 - United States

Today, It took me over 3 hours to cut out little letters for an event I'm putting on. It took the wind less than a second to blow them all over campus. FML

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By cuntsmom - 24/9/2013 04:47 - United States

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

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By mark807 - 28/4/2012 06:52 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I fell and hit my head on hard concrete. When I went to the emergency room for a CT Scan, the nurse hit me in the head with an IV pole. FML

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By buttcrack - 18/2/2010 05:31 - United States

Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML

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By awkwardsituation - 11/7/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

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By soaked - 31/8/2009 13:05 - United States

Today, I stood for half an hour in the rain waiting for my bus. As I started to go inside, my bus turned around the corner and splashed water all over me. The bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus because I was soaking wet and I would "mess up the seats". FML

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By Wow - 11/4/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

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By Noname - 12/3/2009 09:30 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 23:15

Today, I was blaring the radio to drown out the sound of the kids in the apartment upstairs. They then started jumping in time with the music. FML

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By Pandy1031 - 9/2/2017 08:00 - United States - Crofton

Today, as I was shampooing my hair in the shower, the power went out. Since my house has well water, no power means no water. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/3/2018 19:00

Today, on my way back from a family trip, my fiancé informed me via text that he'd been cheating on me for years and that he'd moved out of our house and left the state. He blocked me before I could respond. We were together for 7 years. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/2/2019 18:00

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? My boss didn't like that my manager and I are friends outside of work, and he thinks we are sleeping together. She's gay and I live with my boyfriend of 5 years. He blamed it on me wearing the wrong shoes 3 weeks ago. FML

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By mollyeyers - 22/8/2010 17:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new girlfriend 16 seconds later. FML

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By Christin Deason - 8/9/2019 22:00

A Tale of Two Nutritionists

Today, a friend criticized my detox method, calling it "unhealthy and unsafe." Recently, she made a post bragging about her dieting method, which is also very unhealthy and unsafe. I told her she was being a hypocrite. She unfriended and blocked me. FML

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By too eager - 25/4/2016 15:21 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/8/2015 13:19 - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML

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By ToiletTroubles - 3/7/2013 16:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

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By nolove - 14/11/2012 10:36 - Australia

Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

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By MileHighGirlGuy - 14/3/2017 14:00

Today, I almost got upgraded to business class because the gentleman at the check-in was so mortified at having called me "sir" instead of "mam." However, before it could go through, his colleague stopped him, telling me that it was "an easy mistake to make." FML

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By Gabrielguitar - 25/4/2009 14:23 - United States

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

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By Anonymous - 2/10/2019 22:01

Jagged Little Pill

Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML

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By porkieworkie - 21/4/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML

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By fckmylife - 20/12/2016 19:47

Today, I found out that I'm being sued for posting on Facebook about a customer service experience with a local company. Even though we have witnesses, the owners of the store claim that we're lying about the whole thing and that we're "malicious". FML

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By help - 5/1/2015 18:52 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML

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By ...... - 16/5/2012 22:29 - United States

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2014 17:14 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

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By lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

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Top comments

By Apocalyptus | 0

#197992 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:16

Never stay up all night studying. You just won't remember it.

By volcom1206 | 0

#198008 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:19

Just an FYI for the future: it is better to study less and get 6-9 hours of sleep than study more and get less. You will remember things better with more sleep. Studies have shown those that get more sleep, even after studying less did better.

Comments

By Apocalyptus | 0

#197992 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:16

Never stay up all night studying. You just won't remember it.

By x3chibi | 0

#197996 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:17

Omg im about to take it in 2 hours so that really must suck. Some friends! I feel your pain. I don't want people to say 'YDI' bc it sucks and missing a final = bad grade = lose scholarship = fyl.

Hope things goes well!

By evvve91 | 0

#197998 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:17

great friends of yours hey.... shame... FYL

By tamoomoo | 0

#198000 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:18

You need to plan ahead next time, and not wait until the last minute to study.

Reply

bla102 | 4

#4575310 - Saturday 16 June 2012 19:15

It never said he waited to the last minute. He could have just wanted to study one last time

By jillian_xx | 0

#198005 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:18

i wouldn't have woken you up either.

Reply

abcnonamecba | 0

#899842 - Sunday 28 February 2010 8:35

ur mean then cause this test was obviously important

By Mikker | 3

#198006 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:18

Its best to read the day before the exam and to check up on this but never read at the night before a exam :b

By volcom1206 | 0

#198008 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:19

Just an FYI for the future: it is better to study less and get 6-9 hours of sleep than study more and get less. You will remember things better with more sleep. Studies have shown those that get more sleep, even after studying less did better.

Reply

emsbitch | 0

#3076356 - Wednesday 10 August 2011 5:59

...69.

By Callyn | 47

#198018 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:20

Totally your fault. You fell asleep, there are an infinite number of ways to stop or correct that. I'm sorry that you missed your final but it's your job to get their on time and not your friends job to make sure you show up.

By lovinthemcars91 | 0

#198020 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:21

anatomy is awful as it is. I'm so sorry that had to happen to you. :/

By rukusrazor | 0

#198021 - Thursday 14 May 2009 16:21

The professor didn't either? I find that hard to believe. And you didn't study ALL NIGHT if you fell asleep long enough for the professor to come open up, the class to fill in, all take the test and leave.

FAIL.

Reply

dalink | 24

#5355724 - Tuesday 5 February 2013 21:09

Probably given by TA and/or the class is 300 people so Teacher might not know OP that well.