Today, I started my new job. The first thing my coworkers asked...

By NotASportsGuy - 6/9/2015 12:46 - United States - Long Island City

Today, I started my new job. The first thing my coworkers asked me is what football team I like. When I told them I didn't really like sports, they immediately stopped talking to me and haven't since, even when I ask them work-related questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24516

You deserved it

2743

Favorite

Work

Work name

Season finale

Or he's just becoming an old goober

By NoSexForMe - 13/7/2014 07:46 - United States - Rancho Cucamonga

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67484

You deserved it

8599

Favorite

By Good_old_Grim - 23/2/2010 07:56 - Latvia

Today, I went to move my girlfriend's car. I failed to notice that the snow packed under the front bumper is actually ice. After a bit of struggle I managed to move the car. The bumper, however, is now a separate entity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22629

You deserved it

6770

Favorite

By thanksfyi - 2/7/2011 21:51 - Norway

Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38442

You deserved it

4576

Favorite

By DaddysGirl - 16/10/2011 10:36 - Canada

Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33286

You deserved it

2588

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/5/2019 17:15

Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1625

You deserved it

Favorite

By jacked - 2/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35080

You deserved it

18441

Favorite

By Mintilou - 8/4/2016 03:17 - United Kingdom - Wednesbury

Today, like everyday, I got on the train heading back from my university campus in Preston. Usually, it takes 20 minutes. When I sat down, I realised it was a non-stop service to Glasgow and the doors had closed. It took me 7 hours by train and a lift from my best friend at 2 a.m. to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19982

You deserved it

4450

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/7/2015 11:52 - United States - Garland

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28833

You deserved it

3590

Favorite

By theblackrose23 - 6/9/2013 12:10 - United States - Lansing

Today, I found out my grandfather died via Facebook, because apparently both my father and my aunt think posting a status about it immediately rather than calling family is the thing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47974

You deserved it

2822

Favorite

By - 15/1/2017 10:00

Today, I accidentally uploaded a video of me pleasing myself to my Snapchat story. Five people saw it before I could take it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4894

You deserved it

14829

Favorite

By Scarred - 4/9/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50846

You deserved it

5633

Favorite

By StephD - 20/3/2009 03:41 - Canada

Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

19151

You deserved it

103487

Favorite

By Tonguetied0496 - 10/12/2012 07:21 - United States - Claremont

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37767

You deserved it

7361

Favorite

By weirdlaugh - 10/5/2015 22:08 - United States

Today, I planned a lunch out with my mom for Mother's Day. She seemed excited about it and "couldn't wait!" She never showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30224

You deserved it

2058

Favorite

By lynxstorm - 17/11/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37966

You deserved it

11491

Favorite

By Lookalike - 12/5/2014 14:38 - United States - Nitro

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56324

You deserved it

5486

Favorite

By Ania - 15/10/2011 05:13 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42754

You deserved it

3614

Favorite

By EunJung - 4/11/2011 00:16 - United States

Today, at the nail salon, a Korean woman was making fun of me. I kindly told her, in Korean, that I understood. She kindly told me, in English, that she didn't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47628

You deserved it

4231

Favorite

By xpxp2002 - 27/5/2009 09:48 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58456

You deserved it

6567

Favorite

By France Howell - 10/5/2018 15:00

Today, I rushed my wife to the ER because she was having abdominal pains. She was crying in the car and very faintly said, "If I die, our daughter goes to my sister and they get everything in my will." We later found out she was just having a bad gas problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4699

You deserved it

330

Favorite

By AnonWife - 22/1/2014 01:16 - United Kingdom - Scunthorpe

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67167

You deserved it

9378

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/1/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, while making New Year's resolutions, I realized that I haven't hung out with anybody other than my family in over two years and I started crying. When my mom came in and I explained why I was crying, she replied, "Well that sucks. I'm off to have lunch with some friends. See you later!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

29211

You deserved it

8054

Favorite

By Andrew - 29/6/2009 10:31 - Canada

Today, there was a meeting at work. I had to give a presentation to my boss and the other attendants. My first subject was on how my 5 year old son got to my briefcase and replaced the contents of it with crayons and a stuffed teddy bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47909

You deserved it

5330

Favorite

By Soon2beexhr - 5/2/2018 15:00

Today, my boss tested a candidate for my current position while I was out of the office. How did I find out? I work in HR and the test results were sent to my email. The reason I was out was to have emergency surgery. Now I get to recover and job search at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4373

You deserved it

200

Favorite

By vanorav - 18/3/2012 02:41 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26457

You deserved it

2175

Favorite

By Laurendorcus - 14/3/2010 23:13 - France

Today, I called out "personal" from work because I had to study for a major test that is taking place tomorrow. An hour later my manager called to fire me for "not taking work seriously", then I got an email that the test is being postponed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28283

You deserved it

4008

Favorite

By jm_track - 26/2/2011 22:59 - United States

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14966

You deserved it

35289

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/10/2010 20:34 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35296

You deserved it

2690

Favorite

By Trooper - 15/6/2016 00:19 - United Kingdom - Caterham

Today, I saw the postman approach my house through the window, and my immediate reaction was to drop to the floor in fear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10791

You deserved it

2273

Favorite

By jons - 17/2/2009 21:54 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51320

You deserved it

3571

Favorite

By MSURebel70 - 16/7/2010 23:48 - United States

Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40815

You deserved it

3336

Favorite

By DayamyWuzHere - 24/11/2009 22:47 - United States

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47867

You deserved it

2646

Favorite

By notpregnant - 17/1/2010 12:20 - Italy

Today, I woke up with a pillow under my t-shirt. Turns out my boyfriend wanted to 'see if I would look hot even when pregnant'. We've been dating for three weeks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35125

You deserved it

5185

Favorite

By PunkChik27 - 12/12/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35010

You deserved it

4444

Favorite

By unlovedfatty - 16/12/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I reactivated my Facebook account, having not used it for three months. My "friends" didn't realize this. According to their recent status updates, I'm disgustingly fat, have a hook nose, and I'm secretly hated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36435

You deserved it

4943

Favorite

By Djcc - 21/2/2012 18:03 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31852

You deserved it

7067

Favorite

By Dogmom - 18/12/2018 17:30

Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2147

You deserved it

247

Favorite

By Username - 25/11/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31151

You deserved it

4138

Favorite

By Noname - 5/3/2009 19:44 - Canada

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

535196

You deserved it

52878

Favorite

By ambiiii - 20/8/2015 03:25 - United States - Marble Falls

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25455

You deserved it

2017

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By nzhx | 23

#6404109 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:28

A bit childish on their part, but I think the only course of action if this becomes a serious problem that gets in the way of your work is talk to HR or your boss. Sorry, OP.

By KK3137 | 31

#6404115 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:31

Talk about being bad sports.. Your coworkers are seriously immature.

COMMENTS

By domolovesyoshi | 33

#6404108 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:27

That's really mature of them, what jerks.

TheGreyJayLP | 10

#6405201 - Tuesday 8 September 2015 14:27

I think you mean immature

FreshDonuts | 18

#6405238 - Tuesday 8 September 2015 15:50

Sarcasm #50

By nzhx | 23

#6404109 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:28

A bit childish on their part, but I think the only course of action if this becomes a serious problem that gets in the way of your work is talk to HR or your boss. Sorry, OP.

ligerzero459 | 24

#6404574 - Monday 7 September 2015 20:46

HR is a bad idea. They're there to protect the best interests of the company. Making people talk to the new guy is not in the best interests when they can just let him go and get someone new

By brownapple | 22

#6404114 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:29

You don't need to talk to immature jerks like them, OP.

By KK3137 | 31

#6404115 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:31

Talk about being bad sports.. Your coworkers are seriously immature.

By Twigman8 | 15

#6404116 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:32

They're probably just butthurt because they wanted to deflate someone in their fantasy football league

By jessieexxo | 4

#6404117 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:34

that sucks

By hehe1996 | 15

#6404118 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:34

I'm sorry your coworkers are being such jerks OP. Hopefully the situation is only temporary.

By AlysoninAlaska | 19

#6404119 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:39

I'm sure they'll get over it. Just keep your behavior professional and document that you are asking work-related questions and they are ignoring you, if they keep it up, bring your proof to your supervisor or HR.

By DMA0712 | 22

#6404120 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:41

Chin up OP, stay professional and hopefully they'll stop being so immature. Good luck.

By UhHuhHoney | 20

#6404128 - Monday 7 September 2015 10:55

Where the hell do you work?