Work: Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working...

By ari - 18/02/2013 22:15 - United States

Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 921

You deserved it 3 883

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Hellish - 21/10/2016 04:11 - United States - Gurnee

Today, I started a new job that was highly recommended by a worker there. The same coworker that is now making my life a living hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 734

You deserved it 820

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 26/04/2016 05:04 - United States - Kenosha

Today, I started a new job. The synopsis of my training was, "You're starting a job you're going to hate and you'll be fired for entertaining yourself while waiting for us to give you more work. But you're going to love being here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 1 917

Cut short

By Technomage - 27/03/2021 11:01

Today, my first day at the job, I went up to my coworker and began to ask her name. She cut me off and snapped, “I have a name.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 65

By anonymous - 12/08/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 768

You deserved it 3 139

By Frustation - 30/07/2012 13:00 - United States

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 882

You deserved it 1 798

By That_guy - 12/02/2012 06:02 - United States

Today, I got a new job. This would've been a good thing, but apparently, the person I'm replacing was very well-liked around my workplace. All of my co-workers hate me now for replacing someone who I don't even know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 536

You deserved it 2 123

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 10:17 - United States

Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 856

You deserved it 1 670

New hire

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Brazil - Jacare

Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 534

You deserved it 2 946

By - Moved Across the Country - 06/08/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, I found out my ex is applying for a job at my current company. She may be my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 600

You deserved it 3 814

By screwedfortheweek - 28/01/2016 23:39 - United States

Today, I started a new job. After being trained on several obscure computer programs I'm expected to use in just one day, my new boss informed me she's going on a week long vacation starting tomorrow. She's the only other person who knows how this program runs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 856

You deserved it 1 488

asleepingbear 8

Tuesday 19 February 2013 1:09

Illuminati?

TwitchingNebula 17

Tuesday 19 February 2013 1:11

At least you don't have to wonder who the office nut is anymore.

Comments

AustinCarlile01 12

Tuesday 19 February 2013 5:40

its called having a good sense of humor.

Geary519 20

Tuesday 19 February 2013 6:06

sounds like a dwight wanna be

elrcastor 8

Tuesday 19 February 2013 6:38

i guess you need to figure out how to do her in.

mjthenerd 6

Tuesday 19 February 2013 6:48

EXTERMINATE

grlinusarmy 6

Tuesday 19 February 2013 7:16

You must be John Conner.

andiw 6

Tuesday 19 February 2013 7:30

She seems friendly

chanellgymnast 17

Tuesday 19 February 2013 7:34

What a friendly welcome.

fksfsdhfsdfh 26

Tuesday 19 February 2013 7:51

Comforting

Kiyaralovestolol 14

Tuesday 19 February 2013 8:00

A figure from the future ?

PikaPikaPika_fml 9

Tuesday 19 February 2013 8:38

Well she sounds like she has a sense of humor. :)

Keywords

Relatable Management Work Annoying Transportation Cars Weird Love Sex Kids Abuse Miscellaneous Embarrassing Roommate Music Singing Health Farts Dogs Animals TV shows Cheating AITA Sports Death Family Awkward Money Cute Doctor

The Top

Today, I went to my friends-with-benefits's house as planned. My phone was on do not disturb so I missed the message half an hour before I was supposed to be there, asking to come tomorrow. I arrived and he had another chick there. Most awkward encounter, being asked to leave when she was the last minute plan, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 1 241

Today, the guy I was seeing told me he only wants to be friends. Every guy I've dated in the last 10 years has lost interest after we've had sex for the first time, and nobody will tell me why or what I did wrong. I'm going to die alone and I don't even know why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 170

The Top

Today, I’ve been getting my ass handed to me by my anxiety for nearly a year. I talked to my doctor about starting meds. I got so terrified of the possible side effects that I not only had an anxiety attack, I also had a panic attack. I still couldn’t bring myself to take the pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 233

Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 321

You deserved it 10 041

Today, my parents booked my 18th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 296

You deserved it 8 336

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who insisted that I go with him to his friend's house party to meet people and socialize, as I'm new to the city. When I got there, I realised he had invited two other girls as his date as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 154

Today, I was headed on vacation with my family. On the way, our trailer tire blew out. Because the trailer was tilted from the flat tire, the door would not open to get the spare. After breaking the window to get the spare and putting it on, the spare blew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 2 027

Today, after getting married recently and my wife making a ton of promises about "things" we'd do, she admitted she won't do any of them and said I should just accept that she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 978

You deserved it 743

Same thing different taste

Bad omen

Cut short

New hire

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