Love: Today, I sprained my knee while going down on one knee to propose...

By smoothmove - 26/06/2011 04:29 - United States

Today, I sprained my knee while going down on one knee to propose to my girlfriend. She laughed as I rolled in pain. I still haven't gotten an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 696

You deserved it 4 742

Love

Dysfunctional

Broken heart

Toasted

Timing is key

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 08:04

Today, we live in a society where an Uber Eats order arrives a lot faster than the authorities. To make things worse, the Uber Eats order arrives screwed up as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 103

By Anonymous - 19/10/2012 02:49 - Canada - Regina

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 969

You deserved it 37 103

By dishwasherforlife - 04/11/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I filled out a 'perfect job placement' test, where you put down your skills, experience and education level and then it finds you jobs based on your abilities and areas of knowledge. No lie, the most compatible job they found for me was 'Dishwasher'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 420

You deserved it 6 140

Considerate

By BadLuckLad - 22/10/2014 22:38 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 235

You deserved it 3 832

By Sick - 28/01/2017 16:00

Today, I noticed a thick layer of mold growing inside the straw of my water bottle. I use that bottle every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 677

You deserved it 4 668

Gentle prank

By Anonymous - 17/02/2021 22:58 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my little sister swapped out the hard white cheese on the meat-cheese platter with slices of white chocolate and put some Skittles into the bowl of M&M's. My limited circle of friends and family in our safe social pandemic bubble think it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 82

By silkysmooth - 31/10/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 805

You deserved it 5 463

Scarred

By Anonymous - 27/05/2020 14:00

Today, my niece asked why my veins were so close to my skin. She was referring to my stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 149

By anonymous - 26/03/2015 03:43 - United States

Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 861

You deserved it 2 909

By neverleavingthehouseagain - 08/12/2015 23:08 - United Kingdom - Epsom

Today, my ex, for whom I still have feelings, introduced me to his new girlfriend. To make things "less awkward," he invited a mutual friend of ours. However, the last time I'd seen this friend, it was a week after my ex and I had broke up, and we hooked up. Awkward doesn't cover it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 686

You deserved it 5 523

Is this guy Hugh Hefner?

By Gold diggerzzzzzzz - 15/03/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is getting married for the 4th time. First it was my mom, then as they got older, he married a woman 10 years his junior, then his third wife was my age and 28 years his junior. Now at the grand old age of 64, he is marrying a 22 year old, 42 years his junior, almost 2 decades younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 28/01/2014 21:57 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 648

You deserved it 5 740

Crazy day

By Anonymous - 30/12/2021 14:01

Today, a total Karen climbed into my passenger seat and told me she was going to give me a bad Uber review for being late. I ain’t no Uber driver, but she refused to believe me. I had to call the police to get her out of my car. They had to taser her to get her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 76

By j_Lauren - 28/01/2013 04:48 - United States

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 524

You deserved it 3 301

By Geezum Crow - 06/12/2018 17:30

Today, I found out my school's financial aid had a "misunderstanding" of my finances, I can no longer afford to pay half of my bills or pay for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 653

You deserved it 153

By mugres22 - 17/08/2013 05:11 - United States - Pacoima

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 892

You deserved it 3 309

By shandrith - 03/07/2009 14:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 335

You deserved it 252 513

By nofriends - 27/08/2009 02:28 - United States

Today, after going to T-Mobile thinking my phone won't receive texts, I found out that my phone is perfectly fine, my friends just don't text me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 693

You deserved it 8 257

Who knows?

By lilyann - 24/12/2020 08:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, the entire back room of Walmart smelled like cat piss. No one else complained, as they all claimed they couldn’t smell a thing under their masks. I, on the other hand, have a headache and nausea from the overpowering scent despite my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 91

By Anonymous - 01/03/2015 19:03 - United States - Springfield

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 787

You deserved it 3 009

By mafille - 19/03/2015 03:22 - France

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 267

You deserved it 5 466

By A. Person - 07/04/2010 05:36 - Mexico

Today, I was t-boned by a car that sent mine flying into five parked cars. My car was totalled. As the person who hit me pulled me out of the right side of the car he said, "Sorry. I sneezed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 912

You deserved it 2 775

By JoshuaRob - 03/03/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 134

You deserved it 8 001

By BFons - 15/12/2014 02:07 - United States - Newark

Today, my wife and I are about to move across the country when the landlord for our new house called and said a water line busted and flooded the house. The movers are coming tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 885

You deserved it 2 135

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 19:26 - United States - Grandville

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 421

You deserved it 2 489

By Anonymous - 14/01/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 144

You deserved it 6 008

By meeeeeee - 26/11/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 3 868

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 23:15 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 652

You deserved it 1 963

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 137

You deserved it 8 633

Cook out

By zazadudu - 23/12/2008 06:47 - France

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 916

You deserved it 3 944

By Anonymous - 11/08/2016 12:40 - Canada - Toronto

Today, two customers complained about the shitty service they received from my coworkers. I apologized and asked about the complaint. Their issues were legitimate and I promised to pass them on. They demanded to speak to my manager and my coworkers got in trouble. Now they think I'm a snitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 815

You deserved it 1 532

By Stepmotherfucker - 23/03/2016 06:32 - Ukraine

Today, my stepmother started talking to me after a month of the silent treatment. When I asked her what I had done wrong, she replied, "Nothing, but do you know that feeling when you look at someone and you just want to choke them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 115

You deserved it 1 542

By dumped - 23/08/2015 10:22 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 413

You deserved it 2 449

By Anonymous - 22/11/2009 07:31 - United States

Today, my boss called me into her office to tell me I needed to mind my own business and not question everything my newest co-worker does. Yesterday, I stopped the new girl from giving $6,000 to the wrong person. I was fired on the spot. The new girl was promoted into my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 545

You deserved it 2 988

By shouldabeenapornstar - 17/03/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 196

You deserved it 40 234

By k.k. - 05/02/2017 14:00 - United States - Seymour

Today, I left 20 minutes early for school to get a good seat in class. I sat in traffic for 20 minutes before I even got on the thruway and for another 25 minutes once I got off the exit for school. Then I couldn't find parking at my university. I missed class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 875

You deserved it 789

By iamrose - 13/06/2009 05:16 - United States

Today, as I was rehearsing a kissing scene for a play, I realized that before this play, the last guy I had kissed was the same one I was kissing now. It was also for a play. Four and a half years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 888

You deserved it 5 696

Stinky

By ytho - 05/04/2021 00:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my natural body odor has gotten so bad that despite wearing 20 swipes of men’s deodorant under each armpit and taking three showers a day with an entire bottle of body wash, I still smell like a cross between onions and hot garbage. I’m a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 14:13 - United States

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "what birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 336

You deserved it 31 129

By Anonymous - 02/01/2010 07:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 971

You deserved it 4 670

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Top comments

that1kid82 2

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:18

What you need, is a proposal pillow.

TheCrazyAli28 1

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:15

hmm what a nice fiancé

TheCrazyAli28 1

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:15

hmm what a nice fiancé

borichick1 0

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:18

if she even said yes! lol

fthislyfe 22

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:34

I'm so sorry, i hope she says yes, then you'll laugh whenever u remember this proposal, and u'll tell your children!

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:45

iiirrrrrooooonnnnyyyy!! get use to it, marriage is nothing but pain. except the sex, the sex is good.

chlorinegreen 27

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Sunday 26 June 2011 14:26

hmm that's weird. I didn't know you could do that! well I guess if you can dislocate your collar bone from just removing a bra you can do anything. tough luck. I wouldn't of laughed but I guess try try again.

EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

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Sunday 26 June 2011 19:45

I find that whenever there is an FML posted about a boy/girl being rude to one another someone always comments: "what a nice boy/girlfriend. Tres annoying.

TheCrazyAli28 1

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Sunday 26 June 2011 23:56

wellllll, I find that when another someone decides to comment on the original comment, it is frankly a waste of your time and ours because its already been posted. its also quite annoying

l0606299 0

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Monday 27 June 2011 8:23

awhhh... well isn't she a keeper!!!

dathan 14

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Tuesday 18 December 2012 7:13

No, she's not.

hideyoself 4

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:17

Lose some weight bro and step up your game.

Mysanitywins 10

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:38

Good assuming. Cause you know it makes an ass out of me and boners ;)

LikeaPRESIDENT 0

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Sunday 26 June 2011 14:36

just cause he sprained his leg doesn't mean he's fat.

xlord 27

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Sunday 26 June 2011 15:02

I hope this doesn't "strain" his relationship

dre_bro11 12

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Sunday 26 June 2011 15:30

2, 'hideyoself' before you get raped for your fucked up comment.

Sniper_Fidelis 1

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Monday 27 June 2011 11:58

Herp derp bro

Sniper_Fidelis 1

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Monday 27 June 2011 11:58

Herp derp bro

crazyanthonySF 0

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:17

you shouldnt wait for an answer if she laughed at you when youre in pain then why marry her

notsocrazee 0

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Sunday 26 June 2011 17:35

sometimes it's hard to tell if people are joking about an iinjury.

takeapieandrun 9

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:17

Wow, that's harsh.

NomOnShroomz 14

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Monday 27 June 2011 1:23

Wait was she laughing at you getting hurt or the proposal.... well I guess it's pretty bad both ways.

KennKenn 0

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:17

The answer better be Yes.

hodgepodge365 8

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Sunday 26 June 2011 17:11

hahaha, good one

that1kid82 2

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:18

What you need, is a proposal pillow.

ChrisLTC 3

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Sunday 26 June 2011 13:46

*Patent pending

Insomniaddict 0

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Sunday 26 June 2011 15:33

This.

1215116a 14

Sunday 26 June 2011 16:10

I read your comment in an Italian accent. :)

remain 3

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Sunday 26 June 2011 19:48

hahahah good one!!!!

pamelax3 6

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Monday 27 June 2011 0:59

Take it to 'Shark Tank.'

btown1616 0

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:18

dump her ass

lyssaisyourgirl 7

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Sunday 26 June 2011 15:22

agreed

CryMoreFMLs 14

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Sunday 26 June 2011 18:54

well btiwn, since you have such a charming girlfriend / spouse in that picture, I'll tell you why not. How would you feel if you tried to propose to her, and you slipped and busted your tailbone. Then she just laughs. Feeling good yet? No, I didn't think so.

CryMoreFMLs 14

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Sunday 26 June 2011 19:17

btown* I hate my iphone.

Chuckles420 0

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:19

Sucks for you. What a bitch though dude.

MEM0817 18

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Sunday 26 June 2011 12:20

No answer is your answer...

ImaginaryFoe 0

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Sunday 26 June 2011 15:26

Agreed. Laughter may have been her answer as well. Maybe it wasn't even the sprained ankle that made her laugh but, if it was, "sickness and health" is going to be a misery, Cut your losses.