Miscellaneous: Today, I spent all day at the hospital with my grandma for some... - FML

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent all day at the hospital with my grandma for some tests. When I drove her back home she decided to thank me with $50. Knowing she is unemployed, I told her I couldn't take a whole $50. She replied with "Ungrateful, just like your mother", then took the money and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39363

You deserved it

4541

Tweet

Share

Understandable

Thanks, I hate it

Fishy anxiety

By TuT - France

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41880

You deserved it

4155

Tweet

Share

By Jordan - Jordan - Amman

Bugging out

Today, I wore a new shirt, but forgot to remove the price tag. It was kind of windy outside, so when I got outside, the tag hit me on the neck, I thought it was a giant insect attacking my neck. I started screaming like a little girl. I'm a 30 year-old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27531

You deserved it

8416

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my company filed for bankruptcy, but the reorganize kind where it still functions. There are no funds to give out paychecks any time soon. They won't fire me. If I voluntarily quit, I cannot file for unemployment. I'm now an unpaid intern. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57852

You deserved it

2963

Tweet

Share

By FreshFaced - United Kingdom

Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40893

You deserved it

8031

Tweet

Share

By rebeccaremily - Canada

Today, my computer stopped working. Me, the technology challenged one, decided to do a system recovery on it hoping that I could make it better. Turns out, system recovery means deleting all the files off the computer including family photos, music and assignments and starting fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12622

You deserved it

54567

Tweet

Share

By nottoosmall - United States

Today, I was buying condoms at Walmart. I grabbed the XL size, and the cashier commented, "Ahh, you'll definitely need a smaller size." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37686

You deserved it

15572

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Pomona

Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20118

You deserved it

2548

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Rapid City

Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26664

You deserved it

6657

Tweet

Share

By slim_breezy - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had to rush my son to the ER after he ate a poisonous plant. He said the plant looked like one in Skyrim and he thought he'd get super powers from eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15376

You deserved it

2432

Tweet

Share

By allergyface - Canada

Today, I was talking to my parents, when all of a sudden my dad starts freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is, he was dead serious the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27489

You deserved it

2452

Tweet

Share

By NotAGoodDay - United Kingdom - Sudbury

Today, I had severe constipation. I went to get some more laxatives when I felt something fall onto the top of my head. I reached up to see what it was and it turned out to be quite a large spider. Guess who isn't constipated anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14498

You deserved it

1103

Tweet

Share

By random1456

Today, my credit card got declined while I was buying anti-depressants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2106

You deserved it

309

Tweet

Share

By ostler - United Kingdom

Today, at work I was told I'd be working over Christmas because I don't drink. Apparently if you're tee-total, you're not entitled to spend time with your family and are incapable of having fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32769

You deserved it

3909

Tweet

Share

By painedandpissed - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I called my boyfriend and invited him over to watch a movie. He was all for it, until I mentioned I was on my period, at which point he said "NOPE." and hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44931

You deserved it

7135

Tweet

Share

By Dom

Today, I proposed to the girl I have known for a while, since our Dads have worked together for 40 years. After I rang my Dad to tell him the good news, he told me that there was a position open at work, which had belonged to her Dad. My Dad had to fire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1847

You deserved it

109

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10411

You deserved it

1418

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my stress sweat overpowered my prescription strength deodorant 45 minutes into an 8-hour shift. I don't know who is more miserable, me or my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1753

You deserved it

157

Tweet

Share

By Ansharus - Belgium - Londerzeel

Today, I noticed I'd lost my wedding ring after returning home from a long, tiring day of painting our newly purchased home. After driving back and forth to the house for more than an hour to go looking for it, I found it tucked away in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11741

You deserved it

3991

Tweet

Share

By King_of_Cha0s - United States - San Jose

Today, my PE teacher yelled at me for not trying hard enough in class. This my second week back after being in the hospital with a collapsed lung. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28872

You deserved it

1720

Tweet

Share

By Lisa

Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes I understood why. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2975

You deserved it

901

Tweet

Share

By Darth Spasticus - United States - Flower Mound

Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22574

You deserved it

1750

Tweet

Share

By FrickingBusDrivers - United States - Farmington

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31783

You deserved it

2268

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Bel Air

Today, while opening up to a few friends about how I was sexually abused as a child, one of them blurted "Pics or it didn't happen." How did the others react? With outrage? No, just with awkward chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26084

You deserved it

2059

Tweet

Share

By Asterisk1009 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50455

You deserved it

17011

Tweet

Share

By WhenRumoursAreBetterThanReality - Australia - Belconnen

Today, I got a call from a friend asking why I didn't tell him I was engaged. I'm not, but I wish I was. Rumours about my life seem to be better than the reality. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47035

You deserved it

4579

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Bakersfield

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42655

You deserved it

4114

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48726

You deserved it

5170

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Saint Petersburg

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34741

You deserved it

24865

Tweet

Share

By Darkness162000 - France

Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37222

You deserved it

2106

Tweet

Share

By StupidCar - United States

Today, I spent 600 dollars to have my brakes fixed on my car, they weren't squeaking. I got my car back and now the brakes squeal and my air conditioning won't work. I just spent 600 dollars to break my car even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33950

You deserved it

4843

Tweet

Share

By Secretlypossessed

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2876

You deserved it

260

Tweet

Share

By ishouldhavebeenbornrich

Today, at work, a man wanted to buy a garden hose which came up on the till as £1.99. He said that it was wrong and that it should be £1.89, so he then demanded that I called someone down to set it right. He held 20 customers up for 15 minutes to get 10p off a garden hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11472

You deserved it

1211

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57807

You deserved it

6002

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58918

You deserved it

3320

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Fort Worth

Threat Neutralized

Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3221

You deserved it

692

Tweet

Share

By asdf1851 - United States

Today, I let my friend who is in 'beauty school' do my hair. I now look like i have a mullet. What was supposed to be auburn highlights is now hot pink. I have a job interview in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18672

You deserved it

36869

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30111

You deserved it

9365

Tweet

Share

By Cliché... or Touché?

FML: Uncensored

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36689

You deserved it

61723

Tweet

Share

By Messiahman - United States

Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13876

You deserved it

33936

Tweet

Share

By ananomus - United States

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35055

You deserved it

5852

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Luckster | 0

#550526 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:47

You're greedy if you take it, ungrateful if you don't. You can't win.

By jessicadawg | 0

#550555 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 10:08

You should've accepted, and taken her out to dinner.
That way you would both win.

COMMENTS

By derkk | 0

#550494 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:32

first.

Reply

IceCubez | 0

#550501 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:35

Congratulations, loser

Reply

tgd4444 | 9

#551451 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 21:00

well

Reply

Firetroop | 0

#968427 - Friday 26 March 2010 6:59

Did you know that calling first on an FML makes you look like you sit in front of the computer all day pressing the refresh button?

Reply

stuffhappens223 | 7

#3849930 - Sunday 8 January 2012 12:28

Lol so true

By isantorin | 0

#550495 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:33

Just take the money next time.

Reply

rikard_fml | 0

#995838 - Monday 17 May 2010 2:45

yah dont be a to good for granny moneh beeyotch!

Reply

SadinSherman | 16

#3369510 - Friday 30 September 2011 15:31

What are you saying?

Reply

domolovesyoshi | 33

#5865384 - Saturday 22 February 2014 5:19

excuse me? what exactly were you trying to say?

By muffinsareyummy | 1

#550500 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:33

Lol. This sounds like something my grandmother would say to me. :P

Reply

miyon_fml | 0

#553040 - Thursday 10 September 2009 12:13

Heh mine too. I love her like crazy but she is so grumpy at times.

By Dou_fml | 0

#550514 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:41

Aw! Sorry for you!

Reply

LexRB | 0

#1691444 - Saturday 13 November 2010 4:01

shut up

By cherry_popper | 0

#550520 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:45

Owned.

By Luckster | 0

#550526 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:47

You're greedy if you take it, ungrateful if you don't. You can't win.

Reply

Inkay | 13

#5842183 - Tuesday 28 January 2014 21:27

Well my guess is that it probably is how OP said it, making it sound like they wanted more.

By allmidnighteyes | 10

#550531 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:50

She probably went to the casino and used it on a slot machine; you should have accepted.

By jessicadawg | 0

#550555 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 10:08

You should've accepted, and taken her out to dinner.
That way you would both win.

Reply

the_stereotype | 0

#552294 - Thursday 10 September 2009 2:03

that's a really good idea!

i don't think people should hate on the grandmother, though. i mean, she's old and doesn't have a lot of money, at least let her keep her pride...which sounds like what happened here

By sexymessy | 0

#550583 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 10:45

That's how my grandma is!Well OP you did the right thing in my opinion! Who knows what she would have said if you did accept it!

By WoolyWhoop | 7

#550618 - Wednesday 9 September 2009 11:29

I hate old people.