By Anonymous
Today, I signed for a delivery for my mom and something inside started to vibrate. I can't leave it because if she gets home and it's still vibrating she'll know I know what it is, but if I open it to turn it off, she'll know I've opened it and know what it is. Someone help me. FML
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By  RichardPencil  |  30

Just pretend you never heard the package vibrating.

That’s much simpler than the optimal solution: Go to the sex shop and get a dildo. Replace the vibrator in the box with the dildo and shove the vibrator up your ass until the batteries die. Your mom will complain about getting the wrong item.

  Paul B. Gyurcsanszky  |  14

I couldn’t wait to see your response. You let me down, man. I am disappointed.

By  interesting33  |  36

It's official. Your only option is to buy an unnecessarily loud shirt, a broad hat and grow a moustache, change your name, age and identity, and move to a hot country with a lama named Steve.

By  chessu  |  21

What did you end up doing? Hindsight suggestions - could've you left it outside the door? Do you live with multiple people, in which case just leave the house and she won't know who signed for it? Or, in general just leave and she will hope and assume it started vibrating after anyone had seen it. If you wouldn't usually put parcels in her room, I feel like leaving this one in hers would've been suspicious. Alternatively, you could've opened it, stopped it, and taped it back together as if it was never opened. I doubt it was a vibrator, though. I've ordered some via post in the past, and you usually have to buy batteries separate and this situation wouldn't have happened.

  BloodRedViola  |  12

Could have been a rechargeable one. They often come precharged since the manufacturer or toy shop needs to make sure they hold a charge, or want their customers to have their fun right away.