By friskeyk14 - 04/10/2011 07:04 - United States

Spicy
Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 681
You deserved it 19 071

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I'm not sure if a calender and calculations works on him, but to me that just sounded like a total mood kill

I appreciate the fact that you're keeping score and wanting MORE sex, but if I was your boyfriend, I'd be a little weirded out that you're keeping score.

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First. Yay. Mums going to be proud :/

Well, get to it!

Offer to let him cum on your face.

OP, you've got it all wrong. You'd have better luck with a gold star reward system

Op, get rid of the calendar you makin sound like work!

Ahh I just realized that #1's comment got deleted so does that technically mean im first?

No, you're #44, but nice try

56-Can't tell if trolling, or just reeeeaaally stupid.

maybe this months pin up was easier to masturbate to

I think this is more of an fml on the guy's side

This was followed by a pie chart and a PowerPoint presentation with goto meeting with a therapist to show the rapid decline of productivity

I believe this is OPs fault for lack of "bow chicka wow wow" you know "lets get it on".... It could also be that your boo loves you so much and wants to get it on but nooo "i need to chart out these calenders" You realy dont " have" to show him

I would be so weirded out if my hubby/S.O came to me with a sex calendar who keeps the dates marked down? That's just not normal get a life honey, I hope you still have a boyfriend after showing him the sex calendar and how much he's lacking isn't there anything else important in your relationship that it's not all sex? If it's the sex that keeps you guys together it's time to call it quits as that's not love nor a long lasting relationship YDI

I wonder if the op works for some kind of statistics department... Keeping score on a calendar is just weird, though I also wonder if she counts the days twice if they did it twice that day.

It seems you're better in teaching than in bed!!

obvious point: its a month. people have low periods, mapping it on a calendar just makes you look like an obsessed psycho. youve also made him feel pressured to perform, so goodluck with that. by the way, almost triple the number of hits tells me the calendar wasnt blank...and yet youre complaining. YDI.

I totally agree! Of course right now me and my guy are doing it we have a relationship that is based on other things besides sex. The only thing is that it is very frustrating right now since i really really want it now can not wait for later! Maybe put on some sexy lingerie or watch porn with him to get him in the mood again. I might try that this soon myself.

Yep, he's a keeper!

Whoever is in your photo is sooo cute!

Thanks Steve, she's my daughter. And I agree, soooo cute!

"stats" Good work OP use a sports reference that will make your boyfriend understand.

PS. Not all guys need to fuck like rabbits.. Try filling your time with things other then sex.. When you have sex so often it becomes routine, try making love.. Or showing love with other activities...

Your poetry is beautiful. Off topic but I thought it fit to tell you.

Sorry I'm new on this site but that was for the guy above me

I'm not sure if a calender and calculations works on him, but to me that just sounded like a total mood kill

It's communication. The thing that makes relationships work. She's expressing a desire for more sex & doing it in a clear, quantatative way. She's not trying to seduce him on the spot or set the mood. Men like you are never satisfied. You want game playing not a real woman.

32- just be quiet.

32 has never been in a relationship with an actual human being. seriously, a calendar? my solution: spray yourself with copious amounts of sex panther. they've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works - every time.

I have a program that tracks my periods / ovulation days and shows the same data. Maybe she's using something similar?

Stats? I wouldn't be thrilled with this sort of presentation either. Communication is great but method of delivery is important. If you want more sex, try initiating more sex. Or try telling him what you want, how, when, and where you want it. If he doesn't respond, I doubt charts will change his mind.

32, although my sex has nothing to do with my comment I thought I'd inform you that I'm a girl :)

I hope OP went all coach on her boyfriend, and made that inspiring underdog speech.

4, 32 wouldn't understand that. And 32, when I started reading that comment, I was actually like 'Hey, sounds like a good point this person has.' towards the end I just wanted to throw my phone.

32 is totally right... I should totally start communicating about what kind of sex life I want with a calender. Or you know, I could just communicate by saying something. I'm fairly certain that most men and women would prefer any other method than just "here are the stats, now lets get busy." *Shows calender* I find it disturbing that she needs to mark each day she has sex... is this like evidence or something?

Ya 32 it may be communication but it's terrible. Instead why not just say hey I want more sex. Quite simple and you shouldn't get any mixups. As for the calendar if it's gotten to that point where she has to present it that way maybe she should switch up what she's doing cause sounds like whatever she's doing isn't right.

Forget the calender, 32. Everything is more fun with bar graphs!

I appreciate the fact that you're keeping score and wanting MORE sex, but if I was your boyfriend, I'd be a little weirded out that you're keeping score.

Men keep score all the time.

Oh really? Because I'm male, and I certainly don't.

Its not that hard to keep remembering your score is zero.

I don't think it's that she kept score, cuz of course people are gonna think about how many times they've had sex with their partner recently. It's that she marked it on the calendar, as if after they're done she reaches over and exes out the date. That's a little creepy.

Its possible that it was a period calendar that marks "had sex" days

They crack?

Its called seduction not a calender ;)

Exactly. : / I think it's weird to keep count of how many times you've had sex.

maybe he's more of a "hands on" learner. start walking around the house naked naked and offering head. he'll get the picture and you won't seem so fucking creepy

who keeps a calendar of how many times they crack? ydi for being a super creep and keeping up with those numbers, I wouldn't hump you either.

I immediatly thought of Growing Up Cullen then... its not hard to imagine Wardo keeping stats on his sex life either.

I keep track on an app on my phone. its for health reasons if something ever happens or if I were to get pregnant. I keep track of where it was and if we used and birth control. OP I do it too. you're not alone.

Let's get to making more sammichs. But I'm sure he won't have a problem with more smex time.

September: sex count three. October: One. Yup definitely needs improvement.

OP maybe I can spice it up for u(;

^ no.. just no ._.

59 - 15 years old and autitioning for male prostitution. You have now entered my shitlist. You are, once again, why I have no hope for my damned generation and hate a vast majority of you little pricks.

Well teenagers carry 6 shooters So that can add 6 times in a day That will help her get back on track xd

You have a great outlook on life, maybe instead of going on to fml to proclaim your loss of hope for your generation you should go and do something about it instead of whining.

It was a jk guys omgosh >.>

I'll pick up his slack if you'd like. :P

No you look like a llama-faced creep.

It was a joke, but I suppose you're right it was rather ill conceived. :

Twas rather ill conceived

OP I apologize.

On the bright side: you had less chance of accidentally on the less month. Unless you were actually trying to get pregnant and that is why you wanted the amount of times to improve

I agree with this guy... Only girls I've seen do this are the creepy ones trying to trap me into a relationship through kids.

that's..Scary. .#100.