By Kyle - 03/12/2013 06:09 - United States - Seattle

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 264
You deserved it 6 941

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Looks like the yokes on you

I think the sprinkler idea was great, but kids always have other tactics. Try calling the cops to scare them.

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Looks like the yokes on you

That was so punny.

That's the idea

It was almost punny. A yoke is something to which you hitch oxen in order to pull a plow or cart or whatever. A yolk is the yellow part of the egg. I'd have thumbed up if you'd picked the right word.

Haha, I'm sorry, and admit my mistake...early mornings aren't good to me

\ 28

I guess OP egged them on...

67, stop trying to poach all the attention

Or the yolk.

I think the sprinkler idea was great, but kids always have other tactics. Try calling the cops to scare them.

The OP is from the US. Just fire a gun off when you see them, that might work.

I think it's a rude and childish idea. The kids are obviously annoying and wrong to harass OP but it's not exactly abnormal kid behaviour. You have to be the more mature one here - you are the adult after all. I'm sure there are other ways to deal with it, i.e. talk to parents, talk to kids themselves, just ignore them, police if really necessary. Reacting with a sprinkler is more likely to just rile them up and make them more determined to 'win'. They got a great reaction out of you so this is unlikely to stop any time soon.

Ha! Ignoring the kids doesn't seem to have worked out well if they've been doing it for YEARS. Installing sprinklers is actually a very good passive aggressive deterrent. No harm comes to the kids, and it keeps them from reaching the doorbell. Man, if I had dared do something like that as a kid I would have been caught and pummeled by my victim with my family cheering them on. Then I would have been passed around the family adults for extra punishment. These kids got off easy.

"Kops! This is boat thief"

#11 I'm pretty sure that would be considered a warning shot, which is illegal in a lot of places. Also in no way does a gun need to be used in this situation. You're just giving gun owners a bad name.

The outside cameras are cheap. I love mine. And the suggestion of giving the video to the cops is a good one. They have moved from annoying to destroying property. Most kids don't think of the damage that can do or how they could hurt someone. Getting a good scare and being held responsible for any damages is a good lesson. Of course, if you can identify them from the video, talking with their parents first may not be a bad way to go. But some will see this as a harmless they are only being kids prank and do nothing.

You do realize this is a humour web site, right?

Warning shots in some places are required but you can only use a gun if you fear for your life

Wow you guys are ridiculous #11 was making a failed attempt at a joke about Americans, and how we're not gun grabbing Fascists like he and his country probably are.

A paintball gun may be a better educational tool, if these kids do this to the wrong person, they could get filled with lead.

Name a place where it's legal. Warning shots have a potential to kill. Firing into the air can kill someone a mile or so away depending on a few factors. Discharging a firearm in any type of manner is considered leather force whether or not you injure someone. Just think about that.

@121 A warning shot can be fired at the ground as well. It does not necessarily have to be fired into the air. It can be fired in any direction that no one will be hurt by the projectile. The point of a warning shot is just to make known to an aggressor that you DO have a gun and you WILL use it if absolutely necessary,which means that even firing it into the ground would serve as a warning shot because firing it directly into the ground about 3 feet from the side of you has no chance of hurting someone.

Does anyone else hate it when you accidentally hit ydi?

You can change it

From an iPhone? How?

I'm coming from the iPad...is it different on the iPhone to where you can't just click on the other one to change it?

i can vote for both ydi and fyl

It will let me vote for both but I can never unclick it once it's been clicked. Sometimes I'm scrolling down and accidentally hit YDI for things that they really don't deserve and then I feel kind of bad but it happens.

Get a dog, perhaps? Or cameras to show them to the cops.

The security cameras so you can record them and know which kids they are. Then try speaking to their parents, if the parents don't help or don't care, you have evidences for the police.

get one of those horse head masks and an airsoft shotgun and come tearin ass outside shooting

Is it time to wait with your own supply of eggs and return fire?

Except you stick your eggs in the freezer over night.

And dip them in the blood of your past enemies

#6 I concur.

I hear that paint guns are harmless but can sting like hell, especially when you get hit in the balls. Not that I would ever condone violence in any way.

Paintguns are not harmless. Those things will take an eye out.

"You'll shoot your eye our!"

#18- Then why was paintball shooting invented?

#29: It's recommended protective gear be worn during paintball fights to prevent injuries. It's possible to be injured if you don't.

The kids deserve to have their eyes shot out with the paintballs for harassing, OP and now vandalizing his property for years. Years...that is ridiculous and they have no damn conscience or empathy. However, if one was hit even on his foot with a paintball, he will cry like a little bitch to his sorry sack of shit parents who cant supervise their kids. And they will call the cops and press charges for assaulting her rotten spawn. This has gone on for years. They deserve a hail of paintball pellets shot on every inch of their bodies.

No... Yeah a paintball gun can hurt like a bitch and can literally take out an eye. I was in a tournament and rules state protective gear and minimum 5 foot distance for a shot or surrender. Some ass shot me point blank right in the throat. Needless to say he was strapped to a tree for the team to unload on him. ANYWAYS. Yes, they can cause damage

Wow #62, a little bitter are we? From the FML, only the ding dong ditch part has been going on for years, while the egging only happened in response to the sprinkler OP installed, which was rather silly of OP. Kids like that will always retaliate. So if you shoot them with a paintball gun they might do something worse in return, because in the immortal words of Bugs Bunny; "Of course you know, this means war!" (My apologies if I missquoted Bugs there, but it has been forever since I saw the cartoons.)

As someone whose friends aimed solely for my balls because they knew I forgot a cup, shoot them there as much as possible to scare them off

I love the motion activated sprinkler idea. Now you just need a flame thrower. Lol

To cook the eggs?

To cook the children...

Go buy yourself a good nice AEG airsoft gun and start pelting them with BBs.

The kids would, at the very least, have to be wearing eye protection. Unless OP wants a lawsuit for putting an eye out. Plus the cops usually frown on waving a very realistic fake gun around.

If OP disguises himself, disposes of the airsoft gun soon after where cops cant find it, and admit nothing he can get away with it. Be like "no officer, I was sound asleep in my bed. I heard sounds of screaming and l have no idea what was going on." Dont admit to cops the ding dong ditching or eggs...that will show a motive. Get an alibi or someone you trust with your life to swear you were with them when it happened.

Maybe buy the airsoft gun with cash so they cant trace it. Or craigs list. If you dont do something they will keep egging and damaging your home and peace of mind. They may start throwing rocks and breaking stuff next.

So, BluKatz, by "very realistic" you mean "bright-orange tipped," correct?

Yeah... Except air softs usually don't have those orange tips. You've gotta put them on yourself and I'm not sure if it's okay even when you do that.

They are required by law to come with orange tips. You, yourself, never have to put them on the tip of the barrel.

Oh.. Well I've never seen them like that, is that something from the States then? They are actually almost illegal in my country, unless you meet special requirements, but all over Europe we've never seen them with the orange thing. So, my last comment was a mistake, disregard it!

Get more powerful sprinklers and hope the kids don't have RPG's. You don't want to have to resort to filling your sprinkler system with napalm (even though the streams of liquid fire would be bad-ass!)

Hire Miley Cyrus to sing on your lawn they will never come back.

#14, but if she brings that giant pussy with the moving lips, the homeowner won't ever go back, either. And, God forbid that she also brings the tall, singing kitten!

Get a wrecking ball

I came in like a wrecking ball! I never hit so hard in love! All I wanted was to egg your house! All you ever did was dreeeench me! Yeah you... You dreeenched me!

#14- Don't forget about Justin Beiber.

30, can we all please forget about Justin Bieber?