Intimacy: Today, I sent my mom a link to a news article via Facebook. Immediately...

By mako

Today, I sent my mom a link to a news article via Facebook. Immediately after sending, however, I noticed I had forgotten to copy the news article's link, and what I had sent instead was the last thing I had copied and pasted: a porn link. FML

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Intimacy

BO Central

The bird

Bunch of bankers, the lot of them

By steve - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

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By NoMoreMeatForAYear - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML

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By rozsrredd - United States - Lancaster

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

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By Embarrassed - Germany

Today, while having dinner with my boyfriend's family, his mom told me that it looks like I've gained quite some weight. When my boyfriend told her that this was a rude thing to say, she said it wasn't rude, just the truth. FML

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By Ican'tgotoschoolapparently - United States - Vancouver

Today, I found out after $200 worth of checks and tests, three rugs being ruined from her peeing and pooping on them, that my cat isn't sick. She just has really bad separation anxiety. FML

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By ohlordhelpmenow - United States

Today, my dad created a new rule: It isn't old until there's mold. FML

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By ciararow - United States

Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML

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By maddie94 - Australia

Stained

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Niles

Today, my mother had to ask me when my birthday was, because she gets it confused with the day she bought our old car. FML

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By EpicFail - Canada

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

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By Farva - United States

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

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By not as scarred as he should be - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/2/2021 11:01

Bad day?

Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML

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By Claustrophobic - United States

Today, I was on a plane in the aisle seat; the guy in the middle was encroaching on my space, and the window seat was not taken. The stewardess noticed my discomfort and suggested the guy move so we both had space. He had bought both seats and "liked sitting in the middle." FML

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By catlover - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

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By David H.

Check 'em

Today, I saw my first boobs ever, at 18, volunteering at a retirement home. FML

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By ohsugarxo - United States

Today, I was at my only sister's wedding. She gave a speech about the person who means the most to her. She said, "She is my favorite sister who has always been there for me." Being her only sister, I got up to hug her. Turns out she was talking about her slutty sorority sister. Not me. FML

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By FootInMyMouth - United States - Miami

Today, a customer brought his cat in to be euthanized. I told him to "have a nice day" as he was leaving. FML

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By CrackHouseBaby - United Kingdom - Manchester

This Is Us

Today, I learned that my parents lied. They didn't meet each other at an acid house rave. They met each other at a crack house. FML

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By skyhigh - United States

Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML

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By green2black - United States

Today, I finally found the girl of my dreams, she's smart, loyal, energetic and adorable. There's one problem. She's a Golden Retreiver. FML

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By stopinthenameoflove - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/4/2021 11:00 - Germany - Papenburg

Good boy

Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML

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By workworkwork - United States

Today, after working for over ten years at a dead-end factory line, I told my friends I was going to take some business courses and land myself a real job. All they've done since is laugh, mock me, and say that if Clinton couldn't fix the economy, I have no chance. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Staten Island

No balls activity

Today, my right testicle popped out during gym class while we were running laps. The teacher saw it and said, “Put that thing away! There aren’t any balls involved in this activity!” FML

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By rugs - United States

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

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By KidCudi227 - United States

Empathy

Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML

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By Anonymous

(facepalm)

Today, while working roadside assistance, I arrived to a bewildered client who couldn't find their spare tire. The vehicle in question was a Jeep. I pointed out the spare, but was corrected as "that's just for decoration." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML

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By thanks, cunt-o - Australia - Blackburn

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML

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By mael - France

TMI

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I got into an accident and my bike broke. My insurance expired 5 days ago and the accident wasn't even my fault. The lady was on the phone and on the wrong side of the road. She's threatening to sue me even though her car is in better condition. There are no witnesses and no cameras either. FML

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By me

Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Bessemer

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

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By mraow123 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Montr?al

Today, my 19 year old brother called me a moron and told me to go read a book, after I corrected him when he said girls don't have colons. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Chicago

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Nampa

Today, I took my binder on a short road trip two hours away from my home, so that I could study for my upcoming finals. When I got home, I realized I that had left my binder all the way there, containing my notes, classwork, homework, finals notes, etc. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/4/2021 08:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Epic

Today, I ended up missing all my Zoom classes because I had the audacity to stay up all night and build an epic Minecraft fortress. And then I accidentally deleted it. FML

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By sylverster - Singapore

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

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Top comments

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7460422 - Friday 26 May 2017 2:16

Facebook just became Disgracebook for you.

By Robert Kenneth Marshall | 6

#7460420 - Friday 26 May 2017 2:13

you will grow to be a legacy in your family

COMMENTS

By Robert Kenneth Marshall | 6

#7460420 - Friday 26 May 2017 2:13

you will grow to be a legacy in your family

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7460422 - Friday 26 May 2017 2:16

Facebook just became Disgracebook for you.

By Rebecca Stockert | 16

#7460428 - Friday 26 May 2017 2:47

might be one of her favs

By RichardPencil | 30

#7460432 - Friday 26 May 2017 3:01

Talk about fake news!

Those ladies are constantly faking.

By Robert Kenneth Marshall | 6

#7460434 - Friday 26 May 2017 3:24

another comment from me. the real question here is what kind of porn was it? was it just ordinary porn or porn that would make it hard for your mother to look you in the eyes

By Druu | 53

#7460456 - Friday 26 May 2017 6:27

For your sake, OP, I REALLY hope it wasn't incest porn.

By malsomethingorrather | 5

#7460485 - Friday 26 May 2017 7:59

This is a phobia of mine. Every time I paste a link to friends I double check its not something embarrassing. Doesn't matter how long it's actually been since I actually googled anything bad.

Pixiewolfe | 46

#7460492 - Friday 26 May 2017 8:23

I'm the same..and clearing searches before letting people use my phone/ pc

By rad100567 | 8

#7460514 - Friday 26 May 2017 9:31

Say you were hacked? It's a common thing yeah?

By Mike3258 | 18

#7460563 - Friday 26 May 2017 11:00

why were you copy-pasting a porn link bud

LtCmdrData | 11

#7460914 - Saturday 27 May 2017 2:07

It was going into the bibliography of his Humanities paper. Or for other future reference.

By trucker2 | 33

#7460877 - Saturday 27 May 2017 0:08

Happy Belated Mothersday