Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled... - FML

By crazybiotch - 28/5/2009 18:09 - Canada

Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11679

You deserved it

60970

Tweet

Share

Whatthefuckaburger

Fairytale ending

Everyone's an expert

By daybyday - 22/11/2011 08:08 - Australia

Today, I found out that what I thought could be a life-threatening issue causing me chest pains was only because I over-obsessed about it. Now not only do I have social anxiety, but I get so anxious I can create fake illnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24561

You deserved it

6331

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/8/2015 15:29 - United States

Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28756

You deserved it

15279

Tweet

Share

By brenami - 31/12/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22714

You deserved it

7668

Tweet

Share

By Ciabatta - 20/11/2008 11:10 - France

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34191

You deserved it

3422

Tweet

Share

By idiotson - 11/6/2014 00:39 - United States - Rocky Point

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

I agree, your life sucks

55120

You deserved it

8924

Tweet

Share

By Mac - 16/9/2009 17:05 - France

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11354

You deserved it

115329

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/9/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Godalming

TMI

Today, I sent a photo of my flat to my mother to show her how tidy I’d made it. What I didn’t realise was that my lube and sex toys were also included in the photo of the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

660

You deserved it

2296

Tweet

Share

By fat and broke - 28/6/2015 07:17 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26768

You deserved it

4571

Tweet

Share

By Makala - 3/12/2011 08:15 - Egypt

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12143

You deserved it

35894

Tweet

Share

By burnswhenipee - 8/4/2015 00:47 - Canada - London

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35979

You deserved it

5504

Tweet

Share

By John LegoHair - 23/5/2019 00:09

Today, a little girl asked me if I was wearing a wig. It's my real hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1409

You deserved it

151

Tweet

Share

By FML - 19/1/2016 06:41 - United States

Today, I found out my fiancée has been sleeping with the salesman I bought her engagement ring from. He knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24831

You deserved it

1439

Tweet

Share

By kicking me while I'm LITERALLY down - 7/11/2017 05:00

Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4492

You deserved it

267

Tweet

Share

By TheIVkindaruinsthemood - 5/8/2015 18:58 - United States - Milford

Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32799

You deserved it

2828

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 12/10/2012 02:56 - United States

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28511

You deserved it

2609

Tweet

Share

By Jukka - 19/4/2011 00:48

Today, I watched Free Willy with my daughter. Later on she decided to free her 6 pet mice into the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32663

You deserved it

8422

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/9/2013 08:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40210

You deserved it

3452

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 8/1/2012 12:24 - United States

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58007

You deserved it

4939

Tweet

Share

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42520

You deserved it

10187

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/9/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely resemble the anti-christ, and I am a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36438

You deserved it

4700

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/8/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33050

You deserved it

7151

Tweet

Share

By So I can go now then? - 9/2/2019 20:00

Today, I got fired from a job I had already resigned from after agreeing to stay on and help them out for an extra month, despite having no contract. They fired me because a colleague refused to work with me anymore because I wouldn't date him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2566

You deserved it

230

Tweet

Share

By radiantum13 - 9/6/2016 02:33

Today, I got yelled at by my supervisor for getting an hour of overtime yesterday. The reason I had an hour of overtime was because that same supervisor made me stay late. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14949

You deserved it

1042

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/11/2013 05:30 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54034

You deserved it

4849

Tweet

Share

By Username - 25/9/2010 04:49 - France

Today, I was at a comedy club, and the girl behind me was drinking. Before she swallowed it, the comedian said something funny, making her spit it all in my hair. I had just had it done for my sister's wedding tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32397

You deserved it

6555

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/3/2015 10:33 - United Kingdom - The Hyde

Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36183

You deserved it

3510

Tweet

Share

By sarah - 14/7/2010 04:32 - United States

Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39247

You deserved it

10126

Tweet

Share

By Timv86 - 16/2/2010 08:18 - Australia

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32792

You deserved it

3059

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/11/2009 00:29 - United States

Today, I'm a 19 year old college student in NYC, it's Friday night and I'm sitting alone on my bed in my dorm room, talking to my mother on facebook chat. Then she stopped responding. Turns out even my mother has better things to do on Friday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31042

You deserved it

6473

Tweet

Share

By hale_551 - 11/9/2015 16:34

Today, I asked my teacher if he could tutor me for my upcoming exam. He said he'd look into it and let me know later. I later got called to the principal's office because my teacher claimed I'd propositioned him for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26880

You deserved it

1543

Tweet

Share

By Sleeper_C3ll - 4/2/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53876

You deserved it

2845

Tweet

Share

By rusty2020 - 25/3/2009 16:32 - United States

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

I agree, your life sucks

163213

You deserved it

13183

Tweet

Share

By Oops - 10/6/2013 11:22 - United States

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48095

You deserved it

13783

Tweet

Share

By Ethan - 17/10/2009 11:13 - United States

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37994

You deserved it

2380

Tweet

Share

By - 19/2/2020 20:00

Just once

Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1807

You deserved it

172

Tweet

Share

By hobo - 17/5/2015 17:47 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I woke up to "we're leaving". I'm now homeless because my Dad and his girlfriend got into an argument over toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31450

You deserved it

2133

Tweet

Share

By moon_paw - 28/11/2009 16:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38927

You deserved it

10561

Tweet

Share

By iGreen - 9/7/2011 14:34 - Canada

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35425

You deserved it

3593

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32037

You deserved it

4611

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/4/2020 20:00

Stir crazy

Today, I was so bored under quarantine, I spent 2 hours on a colouring book for toddlers. I need human contact, any human, desperately, before I start talking to the walls or seeing pink elephants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1334

You deserved it

213

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By um_duh | 0

#240362 - Thursday 28 May 2009 23:09

YDI for being such an idiot.

You are at work to work, not to chat to your friends about your sex life & stuff that you stick in your ass that leads to you injuring yourself...

By drinkupgorgeous | 0

#240403 - Thursday 28 May 2009 23:21

Someone sounds like a whore.

COMMENTS

By Juliexo | 0

#240265 - Thursday 28 May 2009 22:53

Haha

Reply

ilovecheeer | 0

#2468629 - Friday 6 May 2011 16:52

Who tells their bestfriend that?! Dumbass

By soccerkrzy | 0

#240282 - Thursday 28 May 2009 22:57

Reminds me of idiots replying to all to corporate e-mails and saying stupid shit. ALWAYS check your e-mails...

By HeyitsPheddy | 0

#240283 - Thursday 28 May 2009 22:57

How the hell does that happen?

By kwosti | 0

#240287 - Thursday 28 May 2009 22:57

FYL? F the office ladies L!

By Random_Poster | 0

#240296 - Thursday 28 May 2009 22:58

Maybe your friends have a home remedy. Probably not.

By MADISAYSYDI | 0

#240305 - Thursday 28 May 2009 22:59

YDI.

But very, very hilarious for the readers, here.

By uhmfml | 0

#240318 - Thursday 28 May 2009 23:01

agreed with #2. Always check your emails...

By lax2319 | 0

#240321 - Thursday 28 May 2009 23:01

why would you dump your boyfriend after having sex? unless is was with someone else..

By SiLveRStaRLIGHT | 0

#240322 - Thursday 28 May 2009 23:01

I am usually wicked attentive to that kinda thing.

By love_owls | 0

#240329 - Thursday 28 May 2009 23:02

...ew. Be a little more careful next time... and I don't just mean with the emails.