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This isn't called My Life's Fantastic, it's called Fuck My Life. Of course it sucks.

#32. most stories on here don't actually suck

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If only there were a button you could press so you didn't have to comment this...

I don't understand why everyone is so hateful he is just simply stating his opinion

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lots of CEOs have personal body guards, people who work for goverment or defense contractors. source: I do that. now would i tackle someone in the situation above... probably not.

Why the hell did this get downvotes, but the top comment is basically the same thing? I guess with this sort of voting system people just go with the crowd.

It might be as a result of a spelling error in the comment - "your boys" instead of "your boss"

#45 - If someone quickly thrust an object towards the gut of a subject (standing close to the coffee machine) whom you are protecting, you would do nothing?

45 said probably wouldn't not that he wouldn't at all. Because a bodyguard's job is to be aware of everything that's going on around the subject. Which includes in this case realizing that the machine he's using doesn't automatically dispense cups or at the very least should be vigilant enough to notice that op was carrying a cup. The body Guard in this case wasn't so vigilant and therefore had to resort to tackling someone who didn't deserve it. Now if op had been standing really close to the subject and pulled the "cup"out of his pocket in a quick and suspicious way, then yeah he would have been tackled. Good body guards aren't just hunks of beef standing around, we got eyes and a Brain too.

hott

Apparently the coffee/sexual innuendo pun was bad.

No it was pretty good some people just don't get things

Started off with a bunch of down votes. The tables turned rather quickly!

This sounded like an action movie lol

But kudos to you for trying to help (:

You must watch some pretty boring action movies

Where do you work that your boss has a bodyguard? Sounds interesting.

The bodyguard store. Definitely the bodyguard store.

the mafia

I'm from the US, and I don't know if I've ever seen a coffee machine that automatically drops the cup, unless it was at a rest stop on the interstate. However, that is odd that he started the machine without a cup under the spout. Sorry you got tackled OP! Hope you didn't get hurt...

Its a possibility they had thought it was like a regular coffee pot, where it brewed inside of the pot itself.

There are actually a lot of coffee machines that do that... I've worked at FedEx where there was one coffee machine in the break room that drops the cup and then pours the coffee.

I live in Canada and there are some cities that have fully automated coffee machines in their public spaces (like libraries for example). One brand is 2monks Coffee Company. They're designed to make quality coffee with the least hassle and mess, which includes internal cups. These are also used in office buildings.

I'm somewhat jealous. I work at a breakfast restaurant and we have to brew a new pot of decaf every time someone orders one. It's a pain. An automated coffee machine would be amazing. The only place I've seen one was in a hospital.

I can brew half a pot without the pot in and pull the pot out while it's going and it will stop. Love my cheapo Mr Coffee but my Kurige is faster and more convenient for single cup.

We had a big coffee vending machine in our office that ground the beans and then poured the coffee into a cup that it dropped automatically. It was free unless you wanted specialty coffee or hot chocolate.

it's called a vending machine coffee machine

factory I worked at had those ten cents small cup of joe 25 cents a large 5 cents for cream and sugar.

Last time I saw a coffee machine that dropped the cup was in Dubai. I'd have a hot chocolate before class each day and I loved watching the whole process.

There's one at the precinct I work at that drops a cup, and they are common on the ferry system in Seattle. I'll agree they are rare but if it's a huge boxy machine I'd probably assume too...

Hospitals have them

I live in central California and at my high school, they have a coffee/hot chocolate vending machine and it automatically drops the cup.

there's a coffee machine like that in Terminator 2

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OP would probably get written up/fired for laughing at the head boss like that

Sounds like a better alternative to being tackled by a dipshit body guard.

Do you work for an illegan weapon dealer? I mean who else goes around with a bodyguard?

Illegan sounds like an illegal vegan. Which might might make for an interesting movie.

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Scott Pilgrim reference?

lots of CEOs, goverment employees, defense contractors. i do that.

40 - Yep.

Lifehack #301.71b: If you don't want an extra dish or wasted paper mug, you let the coffee pour directly into the drainage receptacle and lift the coffeemaker up to drink from there.

'Tis the American way.