Love: Today, I saw photos of my boyfriend at his 25th birthday party....

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 2

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 88

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 1 209

05/10/2009 13:55

Today, I saw photos of my boyfriend at his 25th birthday party. The one he told me was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 456

You deserved it 3 531

Love

Walk the line

Triage

Footloose

23/01/2013 01:33

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 913

You deserved it 2 530

06/01/2013 13:06

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 163

You deserved it 4 053

Men and their balls

By Anonymous - 02/03/2021 05:01

Today, five years after the birth of our last child, my husband still hasn't gotten the vasectomy he swore he would get. He wouldn't let me get my tubes tied, because it was "the least he could do," but when I ask about it, I'm a nag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 340

You deserved it 176

21/11/2014 09:56

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 798

You deserved it 11 831

02/10/2010 13:04

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 834

You deserved it 3 146

11/09/2009 14:48

Today, I was putting my horse away into her pasture, when I slipped in the mud. In a haisty attempt to support myself, I grabbed the electric fence in on hand, and my horse with the other. The shock from the fence traveled through me to her, sending her running and leaving me with 2 broken teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 089

You deserved it 6 767

12/04/2013 00:59

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 207

You deserved it 9 680

23/08/2012 16:14

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 683

You deserved it 1 935

Misunderstood

By fuck - 18/03/2015 17:40

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to "Get a life. Or better pickup lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 501

You deserved it 4 043

Perfect timing!

By Savanerzz - 18/03/2018 01:30

Today my fiancé broke up with me. Two hours later, the store I bought my dress from called to say it’s ready to be picked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 874

You deserved it 283

05/03/2009 02:18

Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it she picked it up, put it down and said "no". Then she started to eat the dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 700

You deserved it 5 404

30/10/2009 07:45

Today, I decided to adopt a 11 year old dog that has been in need of a home for several months. Two hours after I got him home, I discovered him dead in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 581

You deserved it 3 971

Kittens are everything

By Squanto - 16/08/2021 16:01

Today, I realized that since moving in with my boyfriend and adopting two kittens, I feel more alone than ever. He cuddles the kittens more than me, he doesn’t want to hang out with me at home anymore. Is this normal? FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 135

26/04/2019 14:00

Today, I was changing my tampon in a public toilet. When I threw away the used one and opened a new one, it turned out that it had no thread on it! I took another one out. Again, defective! It was the last one I had with me, and it was the second day of my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 085

You deserved it 166

27/03/2010 08:26

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 206

You deserved it 10 421

15/10/2012 20:27

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 923

You deserved it 2 578

07/10/2009 04:39

Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 234

You deserved it 39 124

19/10/2013 00:05

Today, I asked my students to buy a copy of Anne Frank's diary for an assignment. One of them asked me in all seriousness who wrote it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 140

You deserved it 5 005

09/03/2014 06:08

Today, a teenage girl bumped into me and my phone fell out of my hands, and over the Golden Gate Bridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 626

You deserved it 6 151

30/10/2012 04:05

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 698

You deserved it 27 625

23/05/2012 20:38

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 806

You deserved it 5 156

18/05/2013 20:06

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 802

You deserved it 5 342

02/05/2018 05:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 2 years lost her virginity on a cruise last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 778

You deserved it 730

Estoy Poopin

By Anonymous - 08/05/2018 07:00

Today, I cracked my back while pooping at work. It was so bad I had to go to the hospital and get carried out of the toilet by paramedics. A $4,000 bill later, my coworkers will not shut up about how funny it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 055

You deserved it 512

03/07/2009 00:18

Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 130

You deserved it 2 929

13/08/2012 04:43

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 062

You deserved it 3 330

17/06/2014 02:45

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 796

You deserved it 47 642

09/03/2010 18:42

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 274

You deserved it 64 592

09/04/2009 04:14

Today, I was going running. It was an especially windy day and things were flying through the wind. Apparently, bodily fluid can also fly through the wind. Turns out, a women was barfing over a bridge and the wind caught it and it flew through the air. Right into my face and body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 305

You deserved it 3 816

30/04/2012 02:53

Today, I blacked out at a wedding as a bridesmaid, during the service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 824

You deserved it 4 017

24/02/2009 13:43

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 215

You deserved it 54 475

04/09/2013 17:28

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 076

You deserved it 7 240

05/02/2009 20:13

Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 211

You deserved it 7 959

02/10/2018 15:30

Today, our 6-month-old is finally sleeping through the night. We thought we'd finally get a good night sleep ourselves, until my dumb husband fell asleep with the tv on and our 5-year-old ended up watching Saw 3 by herself. Now the 5-year-old wakes up with nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 133

You deserved it 567

25/09/2013 22:12

Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 561

You deserved it 3 523

Chubby life

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 472

You deserved it 265

27/01/2009 11:22

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 243

You deserved it 28 209

21/12/2008 05:04

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 850

You deserved it 2 516

09/11/2013 20:41

Today, my boyfriend moved out and took all his things with him. He also took some things that didn't belong to him, namely my rent money. My landlord comes tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 100

You deserved it 3 794

02/10/2017 10:00

Today, I finished a repair on my trailer. About twenty miles down the road, one of the joints gave out and the whole thing broke on the freeway, scattering lumber and splinters everywhere. The traffic cop called me the worst carpenter in the whole state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 688

You deserved it 960

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Top comments

Brooklynxman 0

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:18

Thats gotta suck. Confront him about it.

blondiealldayday 0

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:14

oh snap

Comments

blondiealldayday 0

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:14

oh snap

Brooklynxman 0

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:18

Thats gotta suck. Confront him about it.

followmeimfamous 0

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:18

hahahahha ouch that sucks sorry you werent invited!

kukopia 0

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:23

So the now ex-bf's party...

varsity_gijane 0

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:31

ouch that sucks

Zhejan 0

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:33

25? Is that one bitch for every bitch you are, bitch?

Miss_Cullen 2

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:40

he was telling u it's over duh

the_stereotype 0

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Tuesday 6 October 2009 5:09

maybe, or maybe he just wanted to hang out with his guy friends on his birthday. i mean, it's HIS birthday, so it's kind of up to him

yehr 0

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Monday 30 November 2009 7:18

yeah but if that's all it is he should be able to explain that. If he's hiding it, then i'm thinking there was a reason.

NeonPopRocks 14

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Tuesday 23 October 2012 5:37

Was the so-called "reason" A stripper named Rea Sonne (Reason) Or maybe one named The Guys (The Guys)

ruben7467 0

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:41

There has to be a reason you were not invited!

Pandachewchew12 0

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:47

OWNED xD

thatSucks7 0

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Monday 5 October 2009 20:49

it's your fault. You picked a horrible bf from the start or you do something that bothers him enough for him to not want you to be there.

michelleJ11 25

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Monday 12 August 2013 4:18

What ..? Where's the logic in this?