By Deborah - 27/10/2011 06:41 - United States
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I think that if someone doesn't have kids then they have the right to sleep through the night without hearing one of the little bastards crying. I'm on team op. I don't blame her for yelling and getting upset at all. At least the parent apologized to you. That's rare.
So it is the babies fault for crying because they are only communicating the only way possible? Maybe the baby was hungry(which babies always are) or maybe the baby was crying because it crapped its diaper and wanted to be changed. Yelling through the walls is not appropriate. If it bothers the OP so much, simply go up the people and ask them if they could do something to keep the baby from crying at night. Or do like I did when I lived in an apartment and had these issues before, offer to buy them soundproofing to hang on the common wall. When I did that, we all had a good laugh over it and they took me up on the offer, even giving it back to me when the baby started sleeping through the night
If OP doesn't want to hear babies crying at night then OP should either rent/buy their own house or pay for a better apartment that you can no hear through the walls. I understand that if you don't have kids you don't want to hear them but that is your responsibility, not everyone else's. Call the cops for a noise disturbance if you want but that is not a punishable or even ticket-able offense. It's only excessive and unnecessary noises. If anyone would get a ticket it would have been OP. The woman could only try to calm the baby, but sometimes babies just cry especially if they have colic. It was however, unnecessary of OP to yell at her.
Unfortunately no, babies can't directly communicate. It's a hassle, but parents care for them by trying to figure out what's wrong. It isn't the parents' faults because they don't know what the baby wants. However, I hate when babies scream and interrupt me from what I'm doing. It's wrong to shout if there's a possibility the parents will hear you, but OP also has reason to let off steam if they're like me, and night is the most peaceful time for them.
@108 then thats OPs problem. If OP hates the babys crying then he should move. Next time move into a complex where the landlord doesnt allow children. You cant blame a baby for doing what babies do and a parent shouldnt always answer a crying baby because they learn how to maniulate them. In any case both people are screwed. OP gets no rest and the parent is up with a crying kid. Life goes on...
118- I agree with the first half of what you said. The thing about the last half is babies don't cry just for attention in the first six months of life and infants are not capable of manipulation. Whether they have a wet diaper or just need a cuddle the parent should care enough to give them what they need instead of over-thinking something that should come naturally. I am sorry if you don't agree with me but that is how I see it and I have a very happy and independent child because of it so I think I am doing something right. 108- if they can't afford a better place to live then that is their problem. If they want that luxury then they have to pay for it if they can't then they need to change something or quit complaining. The world is not going to cater to you because your poor but you have needs. Ear plugs are what, two dollars at most. It is OP's responsibility to completely check out an apartment complex and make sure it is suitable for his/her needs before s/he signs any lease. If they decide not to then that is their choice and they have to live with the consequences. We lived in an apartment like that and guess what we did... We moved and paid both rent and mortgage because that was our choice and our responsibility.
121- op may have moved in before the others, or the baby just started screaming. They may have had no way of knowing the baby was going to be a problem. Stop acting like it's all op's fault for being sleep deprived and frustrated at 2 am. I sure as hell would be too.
151- it is OP's fault. If they were that upset take a fifteen minute drive to Walmart and buy some ear plugs. Problem solved. Obviously it wasn't an issue before otherwise it would have been in the FML. There is no way that was the only time OP has heard noises from outside or from their neighbors if the baby was able to keep him/her awake. Maybe they did move in before, unless they own the building it doesn't really make a difference. You get what you pay for when it comes to apartments. I have lived next to a highway in downtown fort worth and never heard a sound from anyone or anything going on outside because I made sure of that before I moved in. Either OP is too poor to afford price and quiet or they are to lazy to insure that before moving in. Either way it's their fault. Instead of harassing their neighbors they could have taken responsibility for their choices and went and bought the ear plugs. They put themselves in that situation, no their neighbor, and not the baby.
Hey all, take note: we don't know the specifics. Any specifics. All we know is the, what? Four lines of text? That's not enough to come to "it's all x's fault" conclusions. And why IS this an argument of fault? It's too big an issue to be constrained on FML. There are lots of parenting forums dedicated to deep discussion on this ad many other topics.
Does anyone realize how easy it is to get angry when you're half asleep? My dog constantly barks and when I wake up to him and no one is telling him to be quiet it's irritating. When you're half asleep you have half the mindset as when you're awake, so obviously you're gonna say some stupid shit. So everyones saying it's okay to get drunk and yell stupid shit but not be half asleep, or have woken up from a baby crying or dog barking, and not yell at it to shut up? That's stupid. Yea it's not the moms fault but it's not OP's either. They were probably just really tired and decided to yell then fall back asleep. It was 2a.m...do you think they went to bed that late? Probably not, they probably were sleeping and woke up. Deal with it, you can't yell at either person here
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You can't cater to a childs every cry but you can't ignore it either. You have to find a happy medium. You shouldn't let your kid cry at 2am in an appartment. Taking him/her on a ride to fall asleep is not a crime and will not affect the kid. Or you could rock them or sing to them or domething. I was teribble to get to sleep and thats what my parents did for me. I dont have problems sleeping without any of things.
This is a win. Some parents use the technique of letting kids lay there and cry rather than comfort all the time to "toughen them up". If this was the case then good for the OP, it's frightfully inconsiderate in an apartment building.
I don't blame the baby, but really do the parents think the other tenants appreciate it? If it was midday let the kid cry, but at 2 am in an apartment complex be prepared for angry neighbors and complaints to the landlord. Besides if it was me the night before and exam and the parents were letting the kid cry for the hell of it I would be mad. Also, I do support the method of letting a kid cry and being self sufficient, just not when it's rude to those around you.
Suitgirl and stacianichole are obviously not parents. That theory of letting babies cry has been thoroughly discredited. Babies who get loved become strong, confident, empathetic people. Ignored babies become fuck-ups. Also, even when you tend to a baby immediately, they don't shut up right away. They may have an ear infection, a stomachache or are teething and be in pain even after you try to comfort them.
SANTA ROSA, CA—A study released by the California Parenting Institute Tuesday shows that every style of parenting inevitably causes children to grow into profoundly unhappy adults. "Our research suggests that while overprotective parenting ultimately produces adults unprepared to contend with life's difficulties, highly permissive parenting leads to feelings of bitterness and isolation throughout adulthood," lead researcher Daniel Porter said. "And, interestingly, we found that anything between those two extremes is equally damaging, always resulting in an adult who suffers from some debilitating combination of unpreparedness and isolation. Despite great variance in parenting styles across populations, the end product is always the same: a profoundly flawed and joyless human being." The study did find, however, that adults often achieve temporary happiness when they have children of their own to perpetuate the cycle of human misery.
Perdix, If you pick up your kid every time they cry, your going to teach it that all it has to do is cry and you'll drop everything and come running. How is your kid going to learn to do things for itself? Or entertain itself? my kid is very smart and self sufficient, and she can entertain herself when I need to get things done. And she goes to sleep on her own. She's not a fuck up.
Then take the little guy outside and let your neighbors sleep. Why should an entire building have to deal with your child crying at 2 in the morning. How hard is it to drive your kid around until they fall asleep. and even if they don't fall asleep at least wait till a reasonable hour to return home.
Like perdix said. You guys obviously aren't parents. You can't pick up a kid everytime they cry. Or they will become spoiled and learn that their parents will drop everything to give them attention. Sometimes children do need to cry because they have nothing wrong and just won't sleep. Also you can't just drive the baby around Til they "shut up" why? Because then they will learn that's the only way to fall asleep. They will get used to it. And no people do grow up happy if you raise them right.
Also babies cry a lot. Sometimes there isn't anything you can do. And parents with children need homes more than others. So if op has a problem then op should go elsewhere. You can't fend for a baby on the streets but someone whose an adult can. People can live wherever they want. And she at least apologized. If I was her I wouldn't have.
Perdix, most of the time I enjoy your comments, but this one not so much. I was an "ignored baby" in the sense that my mom let me cry myself to sleep one night to get that whole "you won't get everything you want" thing instilled in my tiny infant brain and guess what? I stopped crying throughout the night and turned out to be perfectly functioning adult, i.e. not a "fuck up". Personally I think it's stupid that this thread has erupted into such an argument. Crying babies are inevitable, as are disgruntled neighbors if the parents of said baby live in an apartment complex. This FML is probably not a big deal in the long run of OP's relationship with her neighbor.
He was relating it to parents who let their kids do whatever they want, or are absent from the kids lives. Typically 99/100 of those kids end up in the same, poor situations as their parents. Good job for staying on track though, whatever your situation may be! (:
You live next to the spawn of satan? *grabs ouji (too lazy to find correct spelling and yes I'll admit it) board* I'll be right there.
#7 dumb ass ouija boards are to "contact the other side". people use them to "talk to spirits" or whatever. basically they spell out words...how the fuck you planned to use a ouija board against a demon spawn is beyond me..like they apparently have some secret exorcism power that only YOU are aware of
Hey, at 2AM, anything keeping you from sleep is bad. And even better, the lady apologized instead of being offended. Don't be ashamed. You got your point across. Maybe not with the nicest phrasing, but it got across. YDI... You deserved the apology.
The parent may get the point, but it isn't necessarily going to change things. Babies cry, there is no off switch even if you go to console it immediately. But now instead of just a baby crying, you have a neighbour yelling at it at the same time. a) more noise to disturb the OTHER neighbours; b) if the mom heard it, so did the baby and the noise will make it less likely to shut up and go back to sleep.
I am sure the sleep deprived mother was stressed enough trying to calm her baby, but now shes got the added pressure of OP being a dick about it. Believe me when my 6 month old is crying at night, all I want is for him to stop before the whole house is up. That stress does not calm me or my son. What does he think she can do, its 2 am for her too and I am sure she needed the rest more than op. So no, him adding on to her issues is not ok, he does not deserve an apology. He lives in an apartment, noise from kids, dogs and music/tv is a 100% given!