Miscellaneous: Today, I saw a photo on Facebook of all my best friends from... - FML

By scooterbyrd

Today, I saw a photo on Facebook of all my best friends from high school together at a 50th birthday party I wasn't invited to. I knew the birthday guy for longer than any of them and introduced everyone in high school. They wouldn't even know him without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9874

You deserved it

1003

Tweet

Share

Taking stock

This Charming Man

Clocked

By omgdesdes - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39547

You deserved it

5950

Tweet

Share

By notcountry!

Today, even though my mom’s only ever been to the south once, she’s completely obsessed with talking with a bad, overly exaggerated southern accent. Not to mention constantly prattling off random nonsensical country phrases. We’re from and still live in California, nowhere near any country. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1568

You deserved it

150

Tweet

Share

By spekledworf - United States - Plymouth

Today, as I wandered through the streets of an unfamiliar city, I spotted a cop and darted across the street to ask for assistance. He kindly gave me directions as he wrote me out a citation for jaywalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41070

You deserved it

10103

Tweet

Share

By Alycat

Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5780

You deserved it

832

Tweet

Share

By fazzems - Canada

Foiled plan

Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6594

You deserved it

70503

Tweet

Share

By lifedoessuck12 - Philippines

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42765

You deserved it

11723

Tweet

Share

By KeepOnTruckin'

OK doomer

Today, it's been 3 weeks since I, a 17-year-old, have been working 50 hours a week at a grocery store trying to keep our shelves stocked during coronavirus panic-buying. It was also the day a customer informed me that, "All you teenagers are lazy and that's why the shelves are empty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2323

You deserved it

138

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3687

You deserved it

257

Tweet

Share

By moe - United States

Today, the man who has been my stepfather for six years, has forgotten how old I am. However, he remembers exactly how much my real father owes him for child support. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30534

You deserved it

2845

Tweet

Share

By fuck - United States

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44021

You deserved it

5924

Tweet

Share

By ThatsIncentive - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6893

You deserved it

1114

Tweet

Share

By edgyasfuck23 - United States - Blairsville

Today, I was hiking with my uncle. We were going down a slope, and I kept slipping. He jokingly pushed me just as we approached a big drop. I ended up with three fractured ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15527

You deserved it

989

Tweet

Share

By Ariella - Singapore

Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35751

You deserved it

2445

Tweet

Share

By Lena - United States

Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt weird, like I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character." FML

I agree, your life sucks

57939

You deserved it

7546

Tweet

Share

By Brightbulb - United States

Today, I went to work feeling great. I'd just paid off my student loans and was planning a trip to see friends in Italy. I left work unemployed because a fraud case I exposed 3 years ago got the company sued for slander. It was thrown out because everything was fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3696

You deserved it

330

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Phoenix

Today, I wanted to talk about marriage and our future with my boyfriend of over 10 years. My 30-year-old boyfriend responded by hiding under a blanket and pretending he couldn't hear me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3015

You deserved it

660

Tweet

Share

By H…… - 20/11/2020 20:08

Are you sure you're OK?

Today, my roommate and I were talking about how much better my dog has gotten at not peeing in the house, and how I was doing better at not losing my temper when he did. A few hours after this conversation, the dog pissed all over the floor and I screamed so loudly that now my throat hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

267

You deserved it

1507

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13315

You deserved it

41355

Tweet

Share

By Toothy. - Australia

Today, I went to the dentist to have two cavities filled. I hate the dentist. After he'd started drilling, I heard a "clunk" noise followed by an "Oops." My dentist had cut my tooth in half. Now I have to go to surgery to have the tooth extracted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54939

You deserved it

2911

Tweet

Share

By DeActivated - United States - West Jordan

Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44121

You deserved it

5934

Tweet

Share

By Octobre - United States

Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11563

You deserved it

27957

Tweet

Share

By little nokken - United States

Today, I was out driving with my dad when the car broke down. He made me get out and push. I am a 5 ft tall 90 lb girl, and the car was an SUV. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3744

You deserved it

461

Tweet

Share

By tbanana95 - United States

Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31006

You deserved it

10981

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I woke up to my disabled mother screaming for me. Fearing the worst, I hopped out of bed only to find that she was yelling because her cat had brought a field mouse inside as a gift. The problem? It was still alive. I had to get it from him and throw it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2470

You deserved it

224

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27338

You deserved it

5368

Tweet

Share

By Almostlovedchild

Today, my father made a post on Facebook with an old baby picture, saying how proud he was that I got into college. This would have been sweet if the baby picture was actually of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6910

You deserved it

562

Tweet

Share

By dammit - United States

Today, my father's company shut down his branch, leaving him without a job. This is followed by a letter from my school's financial aid office, saying I'm not getting a penny because my family's income level is too high. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60397

You deserved it

3092

Tweet

Share

By lee - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over breakfast. In the afternoon I got to smile at him prettily for hours because he was the photographer in a session neither of us could get out of. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35163

You deserved it

3293

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States - Anaheim

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31375

You deserved it

7328

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Malaysia

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27786

You deserved it

4661

Tweet

Share

By Jjay08 - United States - Miles City

Today, I discovered a purple BMX bike abandoned in my front yard. I wondered why it was there, until I looked over to discover that my own bike had be stolen. I guess they liked mine better. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13560

You deserved it

1115

Tweet

Share

By gumpy - United States

Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35117

You deserved it

4407

Tweet

Share

By nix1993 - United Kingdom - Chorley

My Humps

Today, I visited my old job to pick up some paperwork. Since leaving over a year ago, I’ve lost over 60lbs, but I’m currently 6 months pregnant. Not a single person believed that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1495

You deserved it

219

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Southerly North Slope Bo

Today, I tried proving to my best friend that I wasn't a lesbian by telling her I once liked her brother. She was mad because I never told her and now she's calling him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42022

You deserved it

6323

Tweet

Share

By AquaKelly - United States - Newark

Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30746

You deserved it

4730

Tweet

Share

By dicksonthebrain - United Kingdom

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35215

You deserved it

6602

Tweet

Share

By Ed - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29589

You deserved it

11047

Tweet

Share

By rozsrredd - United States - Lancaster

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52945

You deserved it

4155

Tweet

Share

By pass me the fucking rope - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14375

You deserved it

915

Tweet

Share

By Ian Artis - United States

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29777

You deserved it

2804

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By TheEpicKitten | 20

#6710287 - Monday 7 November 2016 9:54

Did you stay connected with them after high school? Maybe they didn't realize you still wanted to be friends

By Tripartita | 44

#6710295 - Monday 7 November 2016 10:33

"Guys, I'd like you to meet Creepy B—/Regular/ Bob. I've known him since I was a little kid, and he's recently expressed interest in people our age—I mean, interest in /meeting/ people our age!"

COMMENTS

By TheEpicKitten | 20

#6710287 - Monday 7 November 2016 9:54

Did you stay connected with them after high school? Maybe they didn't realize you still wanted to be friends

By Exaspera | 54

#6710288 - Monday 7 November 2016 10:09

Isn't it nice to be so "loved"?

By elk17 | 7

#6710293 - Monday 7 November 2016 10:23

Dislike the post in Facebook and unfriend them you don't need them

By Tripartita | 44

#6710295 - Monday 7 November 2016 10:33

"Guys, I'd like you to meet Creepy B—/Regular/ Bob. I've known him since I was a little kid, and he's recently expressed interest in people our age—I mean, interest in /meeting/ people our age!"

By Ise_fml | 6

#6710296 - Monday 7 November 2016 10:48

So? People grow apart

By FlexMaster | 10

#6710333 - Monday 7 November 2016 13:12

didya keep in touch. if yes that sucks. if no ydi

By shesaywha | 19

#6710357 - Monday 7 November 2016 14:55

So? They don't owe you anything. If you didn't try and keep in touch with them it's not their problem.

By crudeandrudeguy | 29

#6710364 - Monday 7 November 2016 15:21

So they're obligated to still like you decades later??

By RichardPencil | 30

#6710376 - Monday 7 November 2016 15:43

Just because you introduce a couple to each other, doesn't mean you deserve a threesome with them.

By RinoaHeartilly | 36

#6710591 - Tuesday 8 November 2016 6:37

Just because you knew him first doesn't mean you're as close to him as the others after all this time. Stop acting so entitled.