Animals: Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The...

By Anonymous - 15/04/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I saw a commercial for some sort of meaty beef dish. The camera zoomed in and my mouth watered because it looked so delicious. Then flashed the next scene: golden retrievers running through a field and eating from their bowl. My mouth just watered for a dog food commerical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 405

You deserved it 24 409

Animals

Broken heart

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

How not to raise 'em right

By anonymous - 06/08/2015 08:33 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, at work, the girl I've been into for the past 6 months confessed that she liked me, but also confessed she had sex with our boss. Our boss happens to be my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 577

You deserved it 1 825

By gumchuck - 05/02/2015 21:03 - United States - Marshall

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 801

You deserved it 16 234

Amazon addict

By Anonymous - 30/09/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my husband spent us into overdraft charges through compulsive online shopping. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 176

By muffin - 10/05/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, I wanted to look really good for my date. I was a little self-conscious, so I decided to use Nair on my upper lip just in case I had a female mustache. Unfortunately, it turns out I'm allergic to Nair. Now I DO have a mustache. A rash mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 873

You deserved it 16 555

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 10:48 - Netherlands

Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 602

You deserved it 4 144

By Syrinth - 21/07/2010 16:09 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my grandmother saying she locked her keys in the car and I needed to bring her the spares. After an hour bus ride, involving me missing my stop and getting temporarily lost, I arrived and handed her the keys. I brought the wrong ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 504

You deserved it 31 442

By Nope - 05/03/2012 09:42 - China

Today, I defended the dried up things in the cup noodles as being real vegetables, just so that it would appear that I do actually eat vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 371

You deserved it 23 926

By Anonymous - 18/11/2012 05:05 - United States - New Cumberland

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 101

You deserved it 30 371

By shorty - 11/04/2011 17:36 - United States

Today, I found out that if I were 2 inches shorter, I would have to sit in a booster seat in the car. I'm about to turn 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 653

You deserved it 4 847

By traumatised - 15/06/2019 22:27

Today, I went to make my morning coffee as usual. When I opened the container for the coffee grounds, I saw it bubbling. Perplexed, I looked closer. This is how I discovered that maggots can actually bubble what they ingest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 259

By Anonymous - 08/06/2011 11:22 - France

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 326

You deserved it 3 811

Misogynistic and insensitive. Great.

By Anonymous - 23/06/2018 14:30 - United States - Huron

Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom passed away when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered, "Women drivers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 841

You deserved it 421

By Anonymous - 07/09/2011 15:11 - United States

Today, I had a bunch of friends over for a party. My mom came stumbling into my room, crying about how she was officially menopausal, and that I was going to "die an only child." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 196

You deserved it 2 307

By dessy - 09/05/2016 21:37 - United States - San Diego

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick up a few things from the store for him while he was at work. After picking up everything he asked for, I wasn't left with much money so I used $50 from my account. When he got home he then grumbled about me spending all of "his" money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 764

You deserved it 1 013

By notAMrs - 20/11/2012 17:22 - United States - Jeffersonville

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 000

You deserved it 9 172

Baller

By Anonymous - 26/06/2020 17:00

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 157

Welcome to the Splash Zone!

By Vomitoid - 07/02/2018 01:30

Today, we had a test in history. My best friend, who was sitting right behind me, had forgotten about it and put his finger in his throat to vomit. It sprayed all over his desk, his pants, and the entirety of my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 211

You deserved it 323

Chainsaw

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 07:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after a very poor night's sleep, I've had to stay awake and do housework while my husband, who slept like a baby last night, keeps on sleeping because he "didn't sleep well." He was snoring all night long, the reason I didn't sleep well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 104

The joys of public transportation

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 04:56

Today, I was on the subway and there was a guy yelling, "Regret your sins and devote yourself to God right now." Another man got up from his seat and told him, "I work 12 hours a day and all I want is to go home and rest, you shut the fuck up or I'll make you meet God personally." FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 205

I don't like to move it, move it

By Anonymous - 22/03/2020 09:30

Today, I realized just how sedentary both my work and home lives are after I went to the doctor with a rash on my butt and he diagnosed it as bedsores from near constant sitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 1 144

By dmvfail - 15/09/2011 00:13 - United States

Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 282

You deserved it 2 949

By LifeSucks - 29/10/2008 11:57 - Canada

Today, as I was taking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 3 958

By fat and broke - 28/06/2015 07:17 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 821

You deserved it 4 587

By crappingrapping - 21/05/2013 15:01 - United States

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 187

You deserved it 43 724

By Weedle - 04/06/2019 20:00

Today, I was at my brother's graduation. His mom was taking pictures of him in his cap and gown, but she got a picture of me sucking off a Coke bottle for a laugh, and she posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 795

By Ashley Rocha - 11/09/2018 20:30

Today, after my washing machine broke yesterday in the middle of a cycle, I went and spent $1400 on a new one. Also today, my dryer started to smoke and almost caught my clothes on fire. There goes another $1000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 730

You deserved it 314

By thewallrules - 05/12/2009 14:10 - United States

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my dorm room. He was naked and was peeing into my water bottle. He kept asking for Chris. I have no idea who Chris is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 894

You deserved it 3 442

By DeepFriedLettuce - 29/04/2016 01:33 - United States - Vashon

Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 384

You deserved it 1 504

By UnhappyLips - 16/12/2016 09:43

Today, the lip balms I ordered online finally arrived in the mail. After trying one out, my lips had an allergic reaction. It's a 4-pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 794

You deserved it 1 012

By nullpointer - 03/08/2016 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 731

You deserved it 1 947

By Anonymous - 11/06/2013 15:20 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 700

You deserved it 4 656

By Anonymous - 06/07/2013 11:26 - United States

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 626

You deserved it 6 780

By LuvShawn - 27/02/2009 18:39 - United States

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 335

You deserved it 67 332

By same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 657

You deserved it 6 818

By storyofmylife - 10/06/2015 02:44 - Canada - Truro

Today, my boyfriend and I were hanging out when he suddenly said, "Do you know who I think is the most beautiful girl in the world?" I prepared myself for a cute compliment, until he showed me a picture of another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 727

You deserved it 2 765

By babasheep - 20/06/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, after dieting and working out for almost 3 months, I sit down on my chair to finish off some work. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 607

You deserved it 4 740

By nightDREAMERms - 23/04/2011 14:55 - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 670

You deserved it 7 491

By cmondude - 18/09/2018 15:30

Today, I was finally cast in my high school play. As Violet. The gum chewer who turns into a blueberry. Does my instructor not know I'm a guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 500

You deserved it 322

By me - 20/11/2013 15:28 - United States - Bronx

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 121

You deserved it 3 826

By tmac - 04/04/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 012

You deserved it 43 012

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Top comments

yesmy_love 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 16:10

hey, it's a recession. dog food is cheaper anyways.

philopastry 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 16:22

Im so glad this has happened to someone else....... sometimes they just look so tasty

yesmy_love 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 16:10

hey, it's a recession. dog food is cheaper anyways.

020266t 5

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Friday 4 February 2011 3:17

#1: Tottaly

becky_becks 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 16:10

Not necessarily an FML, more like a chubby-chub move.

XxGivesMEhellxX 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 16:10

That's not so FML, it's not like anyone saw you drooling and slobbering over it

Art_Vandeley 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 16:11

I`ve tried dogfood. It`s not that bad actually.

5bye7 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 16:11

ok this is stupid

rukusrazor 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 16:12

How did you not know that was dog food. You must eat some terrible, terrible shit on the daily. I wanna puke when I see that shit.

InfamousRaider 15

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Sunday 30 June 2013 4:48

Some dog foods can be very human looking but I must agree

Drode 0

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Wednesday 15 April 2009 16:15

"Oh noes I mistook dog food for real food. FML FML FML" Come on at least you werent eating when you discovered it was dog food. Plus maybe thats a good thing that dog food looks good. If you would consider eating it Im sure the dog would like it. Im not an expert on what good for dogs though, so who knows.