Miscellaneous: Today, I rushed to the post office to mail an important document...

By nostamp - 10/07/2009 06:20 - United States

Today, I rushed to the post office to mail an important document for the study abroad program that I'd applied for, which was due in a few days. Just as the envelope slipped out of my hand and into the mail box, I caught a glimpse of the upper right corner where there was supposed to be a stamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 275

You deserved it 39 175

Miscellaneous

Weird reason to leave, but OK

You tried

The fertility dance worked

By takeiteasy - 07/01/2009 03:58 - France

Today, my wife and I went to a wedding. At one in the morning, when the cheese was being served, we were starting to fall asleep at the table, so we went to our car to take a short nap. When we woke up it was 5am, and the party was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 648

You deserved it 34 449

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, it's my birthday. My boss's birthday is 5 days away. Instead of wishing me happy birthday, the staff decided to surprise my boss with an early gift. We also had to take a picture of him with everyone. I work at another branch alone, and had to post the picture to social media. Happy Birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 80

By Anonymous - 04/06/2018 20:30

Today, like most days, I spent my lunch break with a sandwich in one hand while typing with the other, trying to keep up with my work load, while my coworker took a nap. We're supposed to be doing the same job, but he refuses to learn most of the software. The boss is fine with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 659

You deserved it 363

The Boxer

By single - 27/03/2020 05:15 - Canada

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I checked the box with the ring to make sure it was still there, and saw a piece of paper in it. It said, "No." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 233

You deserved it 165

By rawr - 20/04/2011 14:15

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 303

You deserved it 3 568

By Anonymous - 10/02/2017 13:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my wedding ring came off in a Walmart bathroom and fell into the toilet. It was an automatic toilet. It flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 790

You deserved it 819

By JC - 19/10/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly runs across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family that owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 263

You deserved it 5 929

By The Doc - 07/06/2016 22:41

Today, I was on a first date at a bar, when a girl walks over and ask me if I'm a doctor. I said yes, thinking she overheard me talking about my PhD. The girl then showed me a lump on her breast and asked what to do about it. My date then slapped me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 553

You deserved it 1 363

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 00:14 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my friend texted me from a bar, saying they had just called my name in a raffle to win a trip to Aspen, CO. You had to be at the bar to claim the prize. I had left the bar half-an-hour earlier, not knowing they were even having a raffle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 590

You deserved it 4 416

By Marie Foster - 27/07/2019 08:00 - United States

Today, I was talking to my online therapist about my problems with relationships, mainly that guys only want sex and don't listen to me. After I'd confided in him, and told him how I felt about my issues, he told me he would marry me and have my children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 864

You deserved it 207

By yermom - 13/12/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need". After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 661

You deserved it 3 077

By vlcardenx3 - 12/03/2011 21:11 - United States

Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 513

You deserved it 6 131

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 630

You deserved it 5 638

By leena - 23/02/2016 00:55 - United States - Encinitas

Today, my two best friends that I've known since middle school broke up. I'm glad I'm no longer a third wheel but now they won't talk to each other and both use me to complain about the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 540

You deserved it 1 399

By DefinitelyNotDogshit - 28/08/2013 04:06 - United States - Levittown

Today, I walked into my new office for the first time after receiving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 603

You deserved it 3 654

By bucollegegirl - 08/10/2012 14:07 - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 654

You deserved it 6 542

By Username - 08/02/2011 16:57 - United States

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 796

You deserved it 15 304

By RIP - 07/10/2012 18:34 - Finland - Espoo

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 599

You deserved it 1 807

April Fool's

By Ballprankster - 02/04/2021 16:57 - United States - New York

Today, I wanted to prank my husband and filled a kitchen cabinet with tennis balls. Not sure what was funnier, seeing his reaction when all the balls fell out, or the fact that before he got home, I forgot that I had placed the balls there and opened the cabinet myself. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 1 281

By Sapphire Mills - 28/11/2018 13:30

Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 418

You deserved it 532

By Danger. Hard Hat Area. - 28/01/2017 20:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, while walking past a construction site on my way to class, a hard hat fell off a roof and hit me on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 234

You deserved it 496

By God,NotAgain,Please - 15/04/2017 19:00 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, I re-sat an expensive exam I'd flunked 6 months previously. The same impossible multiple choice questions appeared, which I'd been unable to find the answers to, even with all my textbooks and the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 257

You deserved it 747

By cheddar - 20/07/2011 22:17 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 351

You deserved it 2 621

I am the law

By Anonymous - 27/09/2019 06:03

Today I got a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the road. It was a one-way street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 342

By justsomesummer - 26/01/2016 18:09 - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 819

You deserved it 1 650

By Crushed - 04/11/2016 14:23

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for months invited me on a group hiking trip this weekend so that she won't be the most out of shape person on the trail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 814

You deserved it 1 143

By soundbox - 27/01/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 425

You deserved it 4 676

The gift that keeps on giving!

By Anonymous - 26/12/2017 19:30 - United States - New Bremen

Today, for our Christmas gift exchange, we were supposed to all bring alcohol. I got a Crown Royal Apple box with a couple of positive pregnancy tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 518

You deserved it 494

By NoDocVisit - 27/07/2016 02:27 - United States - Parrish

Today, I found out why my husband doesn't want me to go to the doc. It's not because of the reasonable copay. It's because he has let 3 other women use my insurance to give birth, in the last 4 years. They are all his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 985

You deserved it 1 111

Spelling is hard

By WTFFAIL - 03/12/2009 09:08 - United States

Today, I finished a 50-page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 139

You deserved it 39 732

By user210 - 26/03/2012 03:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 956

You deserved it 4 059

By Smooth - 11/04/2009 07:38 - United States

Today, I had hooked up with this girl and had finally lulled her asleep. I didn't want to stay so I quietly managed to get my clothes back on and get out the door without waking her. I made it all the way out of her building and to my car before I realized I had forgotten my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 335

You deserved it 112 146

Richard ?

By fartbucket51995129565 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - New York

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 325

You deserved it 6 887

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 03:05 - United States

Today, I had to give a 63 year old man a shot. He started bawling before I even brought out the needle. I tried to get him calm down. Then he grabbed the needle, threw it at me and ran out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 713

You deserved it 3 212

By CaeliLady - 13/09/2009 23:10 - United States

Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 953

You deserved it 6 353

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 143

You deserved it 3 303

By killmenow - 19/02/2009 21:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 203

You deserved it 3 476

Call CPS!

By leovaldez - 22/06/2020 20:08

Today, after years of having seasonal allergies and months of having my throat close up, my mom agreed to see a doctor, only to insult me in front of the doctor, saying I just find new ways to make their lives harder and I'm probably making it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 18:06 - Netherlands - Apeldoorn

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 535

You deserved it 7 498

By ROLLY - 03/03/2010 20:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 479

You deserved it 3 905

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Top comments

fyourlife33 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:10

if you were at the post office like you said then just ask one of the employees to get it for you... big deal

testing_fml 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:03

You should always make sure of those things. So YDI.

testing_fml 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:03

You should always make sure of those things. So YDI.

dakotalesmercy 6

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Saturday 15 May 2010 23:33

go cry in a corner

justin555 0

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Monday 5 July 2010 23:57

can't u buy stamp at the post office

thebigslim 13

Friday 10 July 2009 16:07

Yeah you deserve it.... but I know I have done that at least once in my lifetime, so you could have submitted one MUCH worse than this.

ihasanintegral 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:20

You were going to a study abroad program and missed it because you forgot a stamp on the envelope? The point is, people have done it but I'm pretty sure you haven't studied abroad "many times" That's the fml part.

m00sem00se 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:39

I dare you to make less sense.

a1mostevi1 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 22:26

i accept your dare! ......pineapple.

renyark209 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:09

YDI... Dumb mistake. Always double check the envelope to make sure its correct.

fyourlife33 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:10

if you were at the post office like you said then just ask one of the employees to get it for you... big deal

blalien 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 22:57

Yeah, I mean if it was 6pm and that was the absolute last day to deliver it, then yeah, FYL. But you could have just asked a post office employee for help.

GoGrEeN17 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:18

Who cares.

arsenicalhumor 30

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Friday 28 June 2013 14:47

Obviously, you care enough to comment.

randomxtremely 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:19

u use a stamp on mail

lastminuteperm 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:21

YDI. If you still had a few days, why rush?

fyourlife33 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:24

im guessing the op was sending it to another country.....

kingbeau 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:38

Sending mail to other countries has taken closer to weeks than days whenever I've tried it.... The only mail that gets there within a few days is local and if its local why didn't she just go drop it off? Maybe its different for some other countries, but in my experience, a few days for mailing something is guaranteed too late...

girlygirl666 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:33

Hahaha Dumbass!

The_Cait 0

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Friday 10 July 2009 16:36

They'll mail it back to the return address if there is insufficient postage. So you'll find it in your own mailbox soon and can re-mail it properly then [unless you ALSO forgot to put a return address]. Since you have a few days before they're due, it might be fine.