Work: Today, I received an email from my boss telling me how appreciated... - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 3

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 5

Spicy

Spicy

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 105

Nice try, though

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, I bought a $100 Victoria's Secret gift card for an ex who I still have a thing for, only to find out she started dating someone else a week ago. I just realized I bought lingerie for her to wear for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 1 370

18/01/2009 04:00

Today, I received an email from my boss telling me how appreciated I was and how valuable I am to the company. I wish I hadn't scrolled down to read the included conversation where he asked his boss whether to lie to me about how good I was or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 396

You deserved it 2 040

The smell detective is on the case

Stealth attack

Slow moving accident

14/11/2010 09:42

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 774

You deserved it 5 136

Metal Cat

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 05:01

Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 83

27/05/2019 02:30

Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 225

23/02/2012 23:52

Today, I came back from a holiday and the friend who'd been looking after my cats returned my spare key. When I wanted to put some relaxing music on, I noticed that he'd switched most of my CDs around in their cases. I have over a thousand of them. Very funny, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 306

You deserved it 4 562

21/02/2010 11:52

Spicy

Today, while my wife was watching me get undressed she said "Bloody hell, you really are getting a beer belly. And it makes your already tiny willy look even tinier." All her accusations are true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 628

You deserved it 7 683

23/01/2015 19:25

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 538

You deserved it 7 939

09/02/2013 20:03

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 748

You deserved it 4 886

06/04/2013 16:17

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 572

You deserved it 3 614

21/11/2010 18:44

Today, while working as a carhop at Sonic, my roller skates ran over some gravel and I fell, causing me to drop a tray of food. I found out later that one of the customers had deliberately done that to see if I would trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 338

You deserved it 2 790

Inference

By Canuckboy - 24/06/2021 07:59

Spicy

Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 329

27/01/2010 06:21

Today, my dad thought it'd be funny to put an Edward Cullen cutout behind my car as I backed it out the garage to see my reaction. Oh it was funny alright, except I was so scared that when I saw him through the mirror I reacted by stepping on the gas. We now have half a garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 648

You deserved it 8 570

Soon.

By erinbarto - 17/10/2019 20:00

Today, I listened to my mom having a conversation with my dog, asking him if he ate my hamster. My hamster isn't even dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 114

02/10/2011 06:36

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 278

You deserved it 3 348

30/07/2019 22:00

Today, I got to a patient having a seizure and was approached by a bystander who said to me, "I have pharmaceutical grade essential oils, and they recommend Frankincense for seizures." Thank you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 112

21/03/2011 17:32

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 561

You deserved it 34 166

31/01/2011 05:47

Today, I was attacked by my dad because I got my hair dyed and he thought I was a robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 221

You deserved it 7 883

16/03/2016 14:51

Today, I'm on spring break on a tropical island, visiting family I hadn't seen in years. They invited me out to eat, and won't take no for an answer. All of this would be wonderful, if it weren't for the fact that I've been vomiting to the point of expelling bile and dry heaving for the last two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 208

You deserved it 1 301

06/09/2016 17:02

Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 443

You deserved it 1 315

10/03/2015 22:38

Today, I was stopped in the grocery store by a stranger, who berated me, quite loudly, for going out in public in my pajamas. I had just gotten off work and was wearing scrubs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 277

You deserved it 2 294

05/11/2015 03:57

Today, our dog died. My daughter was really upset about it, so my husband tried to cheer her up. "At least she will be doing something that she liked forever: Sleeping!" My daughter continued to cry for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 586

You deserved it 1 971

29/08/2019 12:00

Today, my youngest child gave me the cold she had. I also started my period yesterday. Now I can’t stop coughing, and I feel like a human ketchup packet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 167

29/03/2009 18:41

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 181

You deserved it 199 772

Halloween has started early

By Anonymous - 22/10/2019 00:01

Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 143

21/02/2012 18:03

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 907

You deserved it 7 079

26/12/2012 19:30

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 083

You deserved it 3 974

19/12/2009 06:20

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 324

You deserved it 2 685

Monday madness

By socks - 30/11/2020 16:24

Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "Days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 851

You deserved it 10 153

27/02/2011 19:28

Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 926

You deserved it 7 057

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By Anonymous - 29/04/2021 16:59

Today, I'm on the verge of losing my job because of my poor mental health. I've been on a wait list for therapy/psych services for over a year already. My boss's response was, "It can't be that bad, just stop thinking about it." I have PTSD, OCD, BPD, ADHD, bipolar depression and anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 192

08/01/2012 05:38

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared I passed out. I was only on the kiddy hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 190

You deserved it 10 703

10/08/2012 12:57

Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 604

You deserved it 3 219

20/01/2017 22:00

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 034

You deserved it 1 697

29/04/2015 01:36

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 227

You deserved it 5 212

19/12/2011 01:24

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 647

You deserved it 64 187

24/05/2012 19:23

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 215

You deserved it 4 721

20/07/2010 10:12

Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 880

You deserved it 49 552

20/07/2010 19:01

Today, I helped my fiancé pack up and head to Texas for a business trip. I'm not only going to miss him, but I'll also miss my car keys that I accidentally left in his car. I drive for a living. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 527

You deserved it 15 505

07/05/2009 11:36

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 144

You deserved it 152 823

29/08/2017 23:15

Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 680

You deserved it 257

27/01/2010 20:33

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 871

You deserved it 8 262

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Friday 31 July 2009 10:41

I think you should reply his email and say thank you very much, and that you understand certain things that you haven't been doing as well as you should have + how you will improve. CC his boss.

FeelMuchBetter 0

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Wednesday 11 March 2009 2:17

That was very unprofessional of him!

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Timmytwofinger 0

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Thursday 5 February 2009 1:07

what a douche, fuck him

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Monday 18 February 2013 21:29

That's disgusting

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Sunday 8 March 2009 8:13

I'd take this as a cue to do better.

FeelMuchBetter 0

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Wednesday 11 March 2009 2:17

That was very unprofessional of him!

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Tuesday 16 June 2009 15:30

Don't believe this at all. Why would he just randomely send you an email telling you that? Especially if he didn't believe it. LIE

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Thursday 21 August 2014 3:43

He accidentally sent it to OP instead of the boss

I_Bite 22

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Tuesday 8 September 2015 2:57

My partners job gives out letters and boxes of chocolates to people for doing a good job. also if the earlier conversation was with the boss it was probably something about the performance reviews

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Tuesday 14 July 2009 8:08

this is faker than balls. Why would he send you that out of nowhere, then write something to someone else IN THE EMAIL?

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Friday 31 July 2009 10:41

I think you should reply his email and say thank you very much, and that you understand certain things that you haven't been doing as well as you should have + how you will improve. CC his boss.

sjhill 32

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Wednesday 14 December 2011 18:11

agreed

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Friday 2 October 2009 6:19

awww :(.

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Saturday 13 March 2010 7:15

whats your job?

sjhill 32

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Wednesday 14 December 2011 18:08

your boss is a genius...

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Wednesday 18 September 2013 23:18

I can understand him trying to tell you good things, but he's a moron for not deleting the earlier portions of the email.