Health: Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks... - FML

By baybuh - 30/12/2009 17:26 - United States

Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 872

You deserved it 26 360

This Charming Man

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Worked out

Modern warfare

By Anonymous - 11/09/2021 22:59 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, as I enjoyed my peaceful evening, I realized that my redneck neighbors had gone into the hills to shoot machine guns. How the almighty f**k did they get MACHINE GUNS? FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 158

By miss_peppermint - 14/12/2018 13:30

Today, my dog of 10 years died suddenly. My husband’s response? “At least you don’t have to buy dog food anymore". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 896

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 16/04/2012 04:03 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 758

You deserved it 1 964

Bad sex

By izzie - 09/05/2010 14:15 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time in months. His apology took longer than the sex did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 413

You deserved it 5 046

By waternixie - 08/10/2014 03:49 - Malaysia - Rembau

Today, my OCD reached a new high when I used a correction pen to white-out an eyelash which was photocopied onto every single page of my reading material. I did it because the eyelash was too distracting and I couldn't finish reading the article without the urge to rip it into shreds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 137

You deserved it 5 334

By preggersss - 19/07/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 544

You deserved it 17 172

By Anonymous - 03/12/2018 14:00

Today, my son begged me to take him to the doctor for the weeping bloody rash on his penis so I had to take an unpaid day off for his appointment. The doctor laughed us out the door after it turned out to be a good old-fashioned friction burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 168

You deserved it 528

By acme - 04/10/2012 06:20 - Israel

Today, I found out why it might be awkward to have your plumber and your least well-behaved dog share a name. Bad plumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 610

You deserved it 2 765

By xxccruzxx - 29/06/2012 13:30 - United States

Today, at work, my phone kept crashing. Without thinking, I announced that it was having a seizure. Who did I announce this to? My boss. Who also happens to have epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 132

You deserved it 29 750

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 119

You deserved it 39 996

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 22:15 - United States - Lehi

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 973

You deserved it 3 730

Invest in ear plugs

By Dana O'Neil - 24/08/2020 15:03 - Canada - Westerose

Today, and every night all summer, I can hear the kids outside playing when I go to bed. They’re so loud, it makes it hard to sleep. The kids have a later bedtime than I do, and I’m 33. I'm feeling like a broken down old lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 246

By maggie74 - 27/06/2012 04:58 - United States - Enfield

Spicy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a nude picture, he sent it back to me with a mustache on my face from that iPhone app and told me he likes it much better that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 701

You deserved it 9 568

By Subliminal message - 19/01/2014 23:21 - Switzerland

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 597

You deserved it 8 457

That's nice

By Anonymous - 04/06/2021 18:01 - United States - Angier

Today, I told my boyfriend of 3 years that I wanted to marry him someday. His response was, "Oh, OK, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 12/01/2013 08:14 - United States - Mansfield

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 022

You deserved it 44 144

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 20/03/2021 03:01 - United States - Trenton

Today, while spacing out about my hot male boss, he called my name for something and I replied, "Yes Daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 1 273

By aasatt22 - 08/06/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 777

You deserved it 8 663

By J-Sauce - 20/06/2016 14:54 - Canada - Salmon Arm

Today, I went to a club with 6 girls thinking it would be awesome. As soon as we got there, they all said they wanted to go dance and asked if I could watch their purses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 755

You deserved it 2 770

By Anonymous - 11/08/2012 06:21 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 543

You deserved it 5 616

By anonymousyo - 24/04/2015 22:04 - United States - Vacaville

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 049

You deserved it 4 210

By Madmanmorton - 16/06/2011 18:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 113

You deserved it 47 141

By failedparenting - 07/09/2016 16:44 - United States - Bronx

Today, I figured out why I have been feeling so drowsy and lethargic for the past week. My daughter had been slipping sleeping pills into my coffee as payback for taking her phone away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 778

You deserved it 1 708

By anonymus - 18/08/2009 16:33 - United States

Today, I asked a woman where her beautiful accent was from. The woman stared at me for a while. Then her daughter told me that the reason her mother talked like that was because she had a stroke a few months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 793

You deserved it 10 258

By Sous_Chef - 11/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, my roommate came in slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 849

You deserved it 3 076

By Anonymous - 23/01/2016 01:43 - Canada - Moncton

Today, I discovered that the pain I've had for the past couple of weeks was actually due to a broken collar bone. Now work won't pay for the treatment I need because I continued to work despite the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 511

You deserved it 2 267

Mr Empathy

By Anonymous - 24/10/2021 20:00

Today, over the past 48 hours, my husband has ignored a dog with a broken leg, because, “It’s not our dog, so it’s not our problem,” and also ignored a young lost boy crying for his mother in Asda, because, “He’s not our son, so who cares?” I think I want a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 05/04/2016 20:13 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I forgot an important book for school, because I dreamt that I was putting it in my bag. My brain somehow classified it as reality. This isn't the first time my dreams have trolled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 127

You deserved it 2 418

Targeted

By Anonymous - 10/06/2020 05:08

Today, I woke up and went down to my apartment's underground garage/laundry area to do my laundry and noticed my family's car in the back of the lot, as far away from the garage door as can be, had been broken into. The other, more expensive cars around the garage were untouched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 104

By forgotten - 21/09/2010 22:16 - United States

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 058

You deserved it 7 406

By MumMatters - 09/09/2016 10:26 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, my babysitter told me to find a replacement, so I tried to bribe her into staying by offering her a raise. She told me that the money would be better spent on an exorcist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 087

You deserved it 4 169

Wrong drugs

By Anonymous - 26/07/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 145

You deserved it 84 808

Not so special

By Anonymous - 03/04/2020 08:00

Spicy

Today, the guy I've been dating and sleeping with told me he is also dating another woman, but that they only kiss. I was under the impression we were exclusive for two months now, since I told him if we slept together that it would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 398

By Anonymous - 05/03/2011 06:07 - Canada

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 534

You deserved it 11 350

By Pusillanimous - 19/07/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I was waiting in line with a friend, and she poked my stomach and said, "I wish I had your stomach." I asked her why. She said, "Boys wouldn't flirt with me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 232

You deserved it 5 425

By justletitbeover - 28/05/2011 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I got so stressed about my upcoming final exams that, in the silent section of the library, I had a panic attack and almost passed out. No one helped me. 3 people shushed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 289

You deserved it 9 559

By theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? - 31/05/2013 22:25 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 381

You deserved it 4 613

By sophhiee - 05/11/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 687

You deserved it 7 186

Get Out

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 06:04 - Australia - Mulgrave

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 062

You deserved it 8 105

By obviously not the favorite - 05/07/2017 18:37

Today, my mom called me a "useless spoiled brat" because I refused to drive my sister across the city just to buy flavored gelatin. I've had Amoebic Dysentery for 3 days now and need constant bathroom access. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 550

You deserved it 321

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Top comments

MF12 0

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:08

um I wouldn't consider a gigantic freckle "cute".

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:11

Damn, I think I'd be happy if the giant freckle on my nose turned out to be a blackhead. Then I could get rid of it, instead of living with it and constantly being aware of it. But you didn't even have that problem, OP, because you thought it was cute. Which means, if you could misconstrue it as a pleasant addition to your skin, I'm sure nobody else noticed it for what it is. They have cleansers for blackhead blemishes. You can get rid of it pretty quick. No worries here.

Comments

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:04

um.... ew. but at least theres concealer right? and you think its cute!! hm..

FOOFIGHTERSrock 0

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Thursday 31 December 2009 5:47

shes one big dumb fack! they are different

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Thursday 1 March 2012 0:50

You being racist because it's black? Tisk Tisk tisk

KatherineAnne 7

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Sunday 22 April 2012 20:12

Pop it? If its that big it should pop.

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:06

That sucks

MF12 0

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:08

um I wouldn't consider a gigantic freckle "cute".

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:09

ewww =S get it removed or something!

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:11

Damn, I think I'd be happy if the giant freckle on my nose turned out to be a blackhead. Then I could get rid of it, instead of living with it and constantly being aware of it. But you didn't even have that problem, OP, because you thought it was cute. Which means, if you could misconstrue it as a pleasant addition to your skin, I'm sure nobody else noticed it for what it is. They have cleansers for blackhead blemishes. You can get rid of it pretty quick. No worries here.

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:14

hm... I think freckles are cute. Guess I'm in the minority on that...

rxxk 0

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:19

So you noticed something that just appeared on your face and assumed it was a freckle, something that you have your whole life?

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Saturday 2 January 2010 20:50

Umm, you don't have freckles your entire life, as if you're born with them. They are an effect of the sun on the skin and can occur at any point throughout life. It is true that they don't go away though.

GlambertGirl93 0

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Sunday 3 January 2010 13:19

I was born with a face full of freckles. But yeah nice attempt at trying to sound smart

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Saturday 20 February 2010 14:44

You can be born with freckles and you can develop them over time. Look at a really tanned person and you will see just as #79 pointed out. I was born with a few freckles and have over the years got a few more.

i_wuz_nver_here 31

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Saturday 1 January 2011 9:00

some people only have them in the summer then they fade away cuz there's not enough sunlight. it happened to this one girl in my class a few years ago.

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Monday 28 November 2011 4:00

I only get freckles in the summer when I'm in the sun a lot, and I never had any until I got super sunburned on my nose when I was little. After it healed, I got freckles there.

redbluegreen 40

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:19

Cute... Black... Freckle? I have tons of freckles and they look nothing like blackheads. Other then a blackhead, it'd more likely be a mole then a freckle, which is not the same thing.

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:24

eww that's gross......how could you not tell?

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Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:31

Get a facial designed for acne/blackhead extraction; they should be able to remove it and others that you may have.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 16

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 28

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 70