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By - / Tuesday 4 December 2018 15:00 / United States - Saint Joseph
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By  BurnInDemonFire  |  24

You could always go the other way with this. Let him have his fully-clothed fetish (does he stay dressed, as well?) during sex, and then while you're doing other things around the house, get naked. If you've got it, you might as well flaunt it, right? And ladies, y'all know y'all got it.

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By  BurnInDemonFire  |  24

You could always go the other way with this. Let him have his fully-clothed fetish (does he stay dressed, as well?) during sex, and then while you're doing other things around the house, get naked. If you've got it, you might as well flaunt it, right? And ladies, y'all know y'all got it.

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  EinVoegelein  |  6

Not because they haven't heard of it.
But not acknowledging that you SO might have a fetish and instead projecting it on your own insecurities feels kinda immature to me.
Talk it out people.

By  Stan_The_Man  |  7

Maybe he’s the one self conscious, and feels inadequate because you’re more attractive. Maybe, just maybe, it has nothing to do with you, that’s just what he likes. After being married for awhile, you gotta mix things up to keep it fun, try not to draw conclusions before you have an honest open discussion about it.

By  mssileas  |  17

Maybe he'll get it once you stop indulging him.
I'm usually not an advocate for withholding sex deliberately, but in this case it's not so much a punishment, but a consequence of you not feeling comfortable with your sex life.

It takes two to tango, if you're saying you feel self-conscious from sex, there's something going wrong. His kink not being your kink is not necessarily a deal breaker if you can be honest and find compromises of how to fulfill his fantasies, but also find something that makes you feel good and equal in this. It just doesn't seem like he's interested in doing this, so it may be time to stand up here for yourself.
Why should you want to have sex with a partner who blatantly ignores you when you say you're not comfortable and who makes no moves towards fulfilling your needs as well?
Please don't put up with this, it's insanely damaging long-term. You're two people in this relationship and in your bed and it's time to acknowledge that.

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  mssileas  |  17

Obviously she did?
"He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him" - I'd say this implies she has told him this, to no avail.

Like I said, you don't have to share all kinks and preferences, but when your partner - and this is not gendered on purpose - tells you they feel uncomfortable or affected in their self-worth with how sex is handled in the relationship, and you tell them "I don't get why you'd feel that way", that's a really bad sign. Whether you'd feel the same way in the situation or not, so whether you 'get it' or not, is not relevant. Your partner expresses clear discomfort, there's nothing else to 'get'. And if it's not a couple's mutual interest to make sure everyone is enjoying sex, something has gone really wrong.

This is the most intimate aspect of your life, so I do believe it should be treated better than "I don't know what your problem is, so now just let me do it". It is really damaging to receive this kind of indifference from your partner, the person who's supposed to be closest to you, and it obviously has already messed with OP's confidence, which I think is horrible.
But that's just my two cents.

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  ChibiChibi_fml  |  24

"He doesn't get why this makes me self-conscious about getting naked in front of him"----- The problem here is that he may really and truly not get it and your suggestion of withholding sex could essentially come across as punishing him for having a fetish and preferences which is equally as damaging. His particular fetish may simply to have her in a more clothed state than him. Not because he doesn't find her attractive or because there is anything wrong with her, but because it adds a certain hint of humiliation which he finds pleasurable for him if he's naked and she's not. He may very well have explained this to her since she has expressed that he doesn't get it. This may easily be a case of she needs to understand that fetishes tend to be outside of people's control and that while he likes the look of her naked, much like people who can't get off if they aren't tied up, he has a fetish and that's about him, not her. Yes, he is going to need to try to see it from her point of view and try to make her feel prettier but really there is only so much one can do there. She'll either believe or she won't. For the most part it is going to be on her to learn to understand that it is most likely the case that if were with a different woman he would behave exactly the same way because a true fetish is needed for completion and it definitely sounds like he has a fetish. That's what marks the difference between a fetish and a kink. A fetish is necessary for completion, a kink is just added fun.

By  zuckerburg  |  16

It's a PREFERENCE. He's always had that. What makes you so special to think that there's something wrong with you or your body that he doesn't like? Sorry, the ring on your finger proves he thought you were the best. Men don't settle (point to one that wants marriage and you'll be pointing to a lonely person with no friends who would trade his hell for another one with companionship)

So get over yourself. A preference that has been with him for ages makes you feel self-conscious? WHY??? If he had a preference for short hair, but you like it long, would you start feeling self-conscious? Or tell him (like a big girl with words) that YOU prefer it long (or in this case, being naked for sex)

Oh no lets take offense and write an FML about it for sympathy because "what he is actually saying is he doesn't like my body"...... pffffff

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  PhoenixChick  |  24

Weirdly, OP probably thinks it has something to do with them because they are the only other person in the room. Kinda like how you probably think this comment is directed at you because I replied to you. Their husband prefers not to see their naked body during sex. For most women, this would make them start to wonder if their naked body was not sexy. Having a partner never wanting to see you naked is unusual.

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  ChibiChibi_fml  |  24

The thing is though if the OP had to explain that his sexual preferences make her self-conscious about getting naked in front of him, and he "doesn't get" it, that would suggest that he does want to see her naked. The issue here seems to be that his lack of interest in her being naked during sex is in general making her bothered to get naked around him such as when changing clothes or showering. It could easily be that he's indicated that he enjoys seeing her naked, in general, but because he has a preference during sex that she be clothed, she's taken that as "he doesn't like to see me naked." A preference during sex does not necessarily indicate a preference in the rest of your life. He may like her more clothed during sex but might enjoy it if she was naked while just hanging out in the house, cleaning, or whatever. For all we know from his perspective the FML goes something like "Today I found out that my girlfriend decided that my fetish means I don't find her attractive. I tried to explain that I'd like to see her naked more outside bedroom situations but she just doesn't get it and is convinced that I don't find her attractive"

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