By Anonymous - 06/01/2013 13:06 - United States - Tampa

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 233
You deserved it 4 062

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She wants the D... The chef boyardee.

It's good if she makes those noises during oral, means you are giving her something filing and satisfying


It's good if she makes those noises during oral, means you are giving her something filing and satisfying

It's always best to start the day with something filling and satisfying. It reduces cravings throughout the day.

I too, always start my day with a well balanced meal.

Special V, start your morning off right!


His chicken is orgasmic.

Everyone makes moaning noises when eating bacon.

If you have to think about it you're probably bad at both

aka_Specs 7

Can you imagine what would happen if you introduced whipped cream?

87- op is female

Mmmm baby it's so good! God I love those fish tacos. Spoon me harder!

I don't think you can spoon someone harder...

Sure you can. If you spoon hard enough eventually you'll morph into one person! Don't believe me? Back before I was born, a lion spooned a monkey-snake, then the lion-monkey-snake forked a parrot and the result was me!

ahippienamedrae 10

'fish tacos' lmao

thats akward. I dont think we needed the details

She wants the D... The chef boyardee.

bossroyd 4

D as in candy

But... OP is a woman. I doubt her girlfriend wants the D.

Then she wants the V!

V-enna sausages? Then again, she might not be a fan of sausage..

She wants the D, the Maitre D'.

TxCountryBeauty 10

Umm it doesn't say if OP's a man or woman the sign is down the middle meaning that OP didn't specify which gender it is. So OP's girlfriend could want the D or the V (My comment was to 24)

madskittlesftw 5

65, you are quite mistaken. OP is in fact a woman.

TxCountryBeauty 10

66 how do you figure?

Txcountrybeauty, the symbol with the circle and the cross at the bottom means woman, not that the gender is unspecified. The symbol in the other corner with both the male and female symbols represents sex, the category that this FML was posted in.

Studying to be a lawyer eh tx... I wish you luck.

SwtCherryPie 26

Well, I would thumbs up your post because it should be but I dont like your username.

SwtCherryPie 26

@ Tx - We know its a woman because it says it is "Anonymous (woman)"

txgirl2013 14

Every person just face palmed at your comment...

TxCountryBeauty 10

Ok I see that now... I always thought there was a red, blue and purple (red-girl, blue-boy, purple- not specified). Well thanks for showing me I had an idiotic moment:) it happens!

i would love to her hear eating

You surely do know how to write a correct meaningful sentence, huh?

You surely do know how to write a correct meaningful sentence, huh?

#4-Go home, you're drunk.

braja3249 4

18- if you're talking about a correct sentence, you need a comma between correct and meaningful.

94- If you want to write a correct sentence, begin in with a capital letter.

You guys are trying way too hard

I read words in the wrong order all the time, but this one stood out way too easily.

don't hate. I was high, not drunk haha

VooDooCarrie91 19

Maybe she's just enthusiastic.

perdix 29

Isn't she usually eating in bed?

I think she prefers to eat out...

Don't forget the extra cream that comes with that order!

45- OP is a woman.

57- yes I am aware of that but even women produce juices... Or have I used the wrong term?

57- yes I am aware of that, but women produce bodily fluids too, do they not? I think I may have used the wrong word though. My apologies for the confusion...

I was thinking of whipped cream.

tj5810 21

The shake is what makes it.

Authoress14 15

lol FYL! Talk about confusing

It's not all that confusing...

RedPillSucks 31

Or OP is a really great cook. or she's faking it.

I just wonder if she belches during sex.

ballettillidie 8

Probably both...

Oh god yes! Oh god yes! So good! Honey can you cook again tomorrow night?:D

It probably is embarrassing any time Op takes her out to a nice restaurant

Valiumknights44 12

Maybe you are really good at both?

...or really bad. She may be shrieking in pain in either situation....

Or she's completely silent.

Or maybe she just really likes the way he prepares his sausages.

90, This would make sense if op was a man.