By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London
Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  DocBastard  |  38

SkoomaKi - Boys don't have to shave? Maybe you haven't hit puberty yet and don't have to shave your face, but we adults do unless we want to look like a caveman. And what the hell do you mean that guys don't have to cook and clean? What the fuck kind of misogynistic bullshit are you spouting?

You sound like a complete asshole. I hope you continue beating girls in video games so that they continue ignoring your stupid ass.

  SkoomaKi  |  27

Boys: scratch their balls, piss from at least 3 feet away, don't have periods, don't give birth, don't take ages to get ready, don't have to shave, has awesome gaming skills (better than girls), can get an orgasm within 30 seconds of masturbation and most importantly don't have to cook or clean! So I think us boys have it great!

  XxDevilxXGt  |  26

Yeah.. Not sure it's a good thing we can orgasm that fast, because then we can't do it again fir a long time. Sexually girls have the advantage: unlimited orgasms. Also boners are annoying when they show up unnanounced. Major disadvantages to balance out.

  SkoomaKi  |  27

34 - my dick has obliterated every 12 year old nuke boosting hacker (MW2) I have conquered dragon infested Tamerial (Skyrim) raced in the world championships (Forza Motorsport 3), helped clean the water supply of the USA (Fallout 3), beat every pokemon piece of shit game out there! Come at me bro!!!

  disturbed678  |  10

Being that quick could be a good thing if you're just masturbating to get rid of an annoying boner, not if you're trying to make a night out of it or trying to impress someone

  fthislyfe  |  22

100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Woman

We can get laid anytime we want
We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar
We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk
We get out of speeding tickets by crying
We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg
We can sleep our way to the top of the class
We get to shop at Victoria's Secret
We can marry rich and then not have to work
We never have to pay when we go out on dates
Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them
Men light our cigarettes for us
Men hold the door open for us
We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!)
We're cuter
We lie better
We're better manipulators
We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch
We always have food in the fridge
We don't worry about losing our hair
We always get to choose the movie
We dont have to mow the lawn
We dont have to take out the garbage
We dont have to paint the house or walls
PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men
We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole
Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold
PMS is a legal defense for murder
Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever
We can masturbate more in a day than men
2 words- multi orgasmic
We dont have to constantly adjust our genitals
Sweat is sexy on us
We never run out of excuses
You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often
Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too
We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back
We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men fuck up so often
We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner
Women are cleaner
Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know)
We're better arguers
We dont always have to think with our genitals
We're better parents
We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night
There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men
We're flexible
When women get pissed we dont destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can
Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50
Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex
Men in uniform
There is no penis envy
We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up
It generally takes us less to get drunk
We have a higher tolerance to pain
We often get to cut in line
Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT
Better tips
Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting
We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public
Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume!
We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want
We dont have excessive amounts of body hair
We dont spend 45 minutes on the toilet
Men will pay us for sex
Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile
We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return
Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want
Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us
Women sweat less
Women smell better
When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - a blowjob and sex fixes all
Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats
Women dont get the humor in the three stooges
Women have three accessible holes
We don't get embarassed when buying tampons
We're better gossips
We have better fashion sense
We're better shoppers
We dont have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man
Our friends dont pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone
Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you)
We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage
We dont have to drive when on a date
An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked
Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line
Women know how fake it
Women look better naked
We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing
When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short
Women do less time for violent crime
Women dont have to worry about not being able to get it up
An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night
Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye"
Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood
Women never have to see combat
The remote control is not an extension of ourselves
Women are sexier
We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it!
Problem ?

  DocBastard  |  38

SkoomaKi - Boys don't have to shave? Maybe you haven't hit puberty yet and don't have to shave your face, but we adults do unless we want to look like a caveman. And what the hell do you mean that guys don't have to cook and clean? What the fuck kind of misogynistic bullshit are you spouting?

You sound like a complete asshole. I hope you continue beating girls in video games so that they continue ignoring your stupid ass.

  SkoomaKi  |  27

Before assuming I'm an asshole, have you considered what I said may have been a joke? Stop taking everything so serious DocBastard. Who's the asshole now?

  SkoomaKi  |  27

Oh sorry I didn't realize that I can't use those phrases. I was referring to another commenter who was saying "my vagina has blah blah blah". Leave it at that.

  Annpop  |  1

Ya watever u say
What ur reallyyy saying is w/o girls, guys like u cant make food to eat, will live in a pigsty, and hav no kids....? And btw ur totally wrong bout the gamer skills.. I kno girls dat can KICK ASSS lol ... Altho i agree wid the time thing.. I guess we do do that..............zZ

  The_Troller  |  14

46- I think overall, more guys play video games, but the girls that DO play are typically better than the guys that do. My sister is actually a hardcore gamer and she wrecks people on TF2 with her female friends.

  skyeyez9  |  24

Some men don't shave. At least I think they don't. For example, I never saw a native american with facial hair or even hair follicles on his face. The same With certain tribes in africa. I don't think they have facial

  The_Hitdude  |  12

80-Not really. I've been on FML for about a year, but I made my account a few months ago. Regardless, I've seen the good Doc make some clever injections, even call put a person or two, nut never get into an argument with somebody. That, for me anyway, is a first.

  kb021  |  18

57- That's got to be one of the biggest generalizations I've ever seen. I'm almost ashamed to admit I'm a woman after reading that. I've never met any woman who falls completely under the description you gave, and I hope I never do. Though I know who it was aimed at, I'm not sure if what you said is more insulting to women or to men!


57 A LOT AND I MEAN A LOT, of your points were invalid to most women. Also, I'm pretty sure saying you guys manipulate/lie better is insulting yourself.

A lot of the shit you said, guys can do too.

80% of what you said could only be done by a woman who has her man TOTALLY whipped.

Besides those points, it was way too long and even I lost interest. You tried to make out all girls to be lying, manipulating, gold-digging, whorish bitches and that couldn't be further from the truth. I really don't see what else you intended to accomplish with that comment.

By the way, if that wasn't copy/pasted and those are YOUR qualities, I never want to meet you.

  blondpr0fet  |  5

Not gonna lie 57 sounds like a lil high schooler that has no idea what real life is like. She just assumes that what she sees on tv is what life is like for an adult women when in reality very few women like havin most of she said handed to them. My ex for example didnt like havin her doors opened, car doors unlocked, etc. unless i was takin her out on a date and my current gf is the same way. Some people juat have no clue.

  darkgodxvx  |  4

46- How does that make sense? He did not say "we have more male than female gamers" but rather "more men are better than women at video games than vice-versa" and your comment about quality is wrong because competitive, professional male gamers outnumber competitive, professional female gamers by a wide margin. Therefore in economics terms; males possess what is called an absolute advantage.


83- that's true about native Americans. I'm part Cherokee and my uncles and grandfather can barely grow a small moustache. They have hair follicles, just not as many as say, a European man


57- I actually read all of that merely out curiosity, and out of all of those qualities, only a few handful are legitimate and worth bragging about, but most aren't. If you live by those qualities, then you sound like a bitch.

  LittleAkuma  |  2

Okay gaming has as much to do with gender as cooking, which has also come up. For instance; I am female, love to play video games ( and almost never missed a headshot in melee only games on Combat Arms, that is when I used to play), and am about as good at cooking as my brother. I'm seeing generalization on both sides and truthfully men and women are equal in most things. I saw a mention of higher pain tolerance on women I think, I believe our pain tolerance goes up for child birth but generally is equal to/lower than a males.

How the gaming debate started on this FML I will never know.

Anyway, go Black Ops!


PS- Sorry this response is all over the place, I suck at organization.

By  loserman67  |  35

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? Because they don't have balls to scratch. You're just jealous. Stop staring at every guys junk and get back to work.