By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 13:25 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I realised that I've been working in an all-male environment for too long when my supervisor walked into the canteen visibly scratching his balls, and this seemed like a completely normal occurrence. FML
I agree, your life sucks 23 320
You deserved it 2 885

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theHIGHroad2 5

I love being a guy.. Things are just easier!! Sorry ladies..

SkoomaKi - Boys don't have to shave? Maybe you haven't hit puberty yet and don't have to shave your face, but we adults do unless we want to look like a caveman. And what the hell do you mean that guys don't have to cook and clean? What the fuck kind of misogynistic bullshit are you spouting? You sound like a complete asshole. I hope you continue beating girls in video games so that they continue ignoring your stupid ass.


theHIGHroad2 5

I love being a guy.. Things are just easier!! Sorry ladies..

Boys: scratch their balls, piss from at least 3 feet away, don't have periods, don't give birth, don't take ages to get ready, don't have to shave, has awesome gaming skills (better than girls), can get an orgasm within 30 seconds of masturbation and most importantly don't have to cook or clean! So I think us boys have it great!

22- 30 seconds!?

If you really try you can do it in 30 seconds! At least I think you can...

26 - The post isn't experiences from me, it was a guess.

Better gaming skills? There are plenty of girls who totally pwn guys.

29- Ijustine can lol

My vagina has wrecked many a man in video games, 22. They made the same unfortunate assumption you do about girls and games. >:)

Yeah.. Not sure it's a good thing we can orgasm that fast, because then we can't do it again fir a long time. Sexually girls have the advantage: unlimited orgasms. Also boners are annoying when they show up unnanounced. Major disadvantages to balance out.

I'm agreeing, it can be pretty crappy being female. But about the gaming thing, no no.

34 - my dick has obliterated every 12 year old nuke boosting hacker (MW2) I have conquered dragon infested Tamerial (Skyrim) raced in the world championships (Forza Motorsport 3), helped clean the water supply of the USA (Fallout 3), beat every pokemon piece of shit game out there! Come at me bro!!!

45- quality beats quantity

Being that quick could be a good thing if you're just masturbating to get rid of an annoying boner, not if you're trying to make a night out of it or trying to impress someone

fthislyfe 22

100 Reasons Why It's Great to be a Woman We can get laid anytime we want We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar We piss sitting down so its easier to pass out on the toilet when you're drunk We get out of speeding tickets by crying We get out of speeding tickets by showing a little cleavage or leg We can sleep our way to the top of the class We get to shop at Victoria's Secret We can marry rich and then not have to work We never have to pay when we go out on dates Men take us on all expense paid trips- all we have to do is sleep with them Men light our cigarettes for us Men hold the door open for us We pout better (those puppy dog eyes always work!) We're cuter We lie better We're better manipulators We always end up sleeping in the bed when we fight with our other halves- you guys get the couch We always have food in the fridge We don't worry about losing our hair We always get to choose the movie We dont have to mow the lawn We dont have to take out the garbage We dont have to paint the house or walls PMS- yet another excuse to bitch at men Cosmopolitan We can con our way out of anything - not just dig ourselves deeper into a hole Men unlock our side of the car first- a real bonus when its cold PMS is a legal defense for murder Men are like tiles, lay em right the first time ya can walk all over em forever We can masturbate more in a day than men 2 words- multi orgasmic We dont have to constantly adjust our genitals Sweat is sexy on us We never run out of excuses You guys may get to think about sex 200 times a day, but we could be having it that often Doggie style - that way we get to watch the game too We get expensive jewelery as gifts that we NEVER have to give back We get candy, flowers and jewelery all the time cuz men fuck up so often We can give "the look" that will make any man want to cower in the corner Women are cleaner Women have more than one erogenous zone (in case you guys didnt know) We're better arguers We dont always have to think with our genitals Massage!!!! We're better parents We never have to sit home alone on a weekend night There's never a shortage of ready, willing and able men We're flexible When women get pissed we dont destroy property or hurt people - we just take it out on the world in general because we can Menopause- thank god we're not capable of having children after we're 50 Menstruation- just another excuse to use so we can say "no" to sex Men in uniform There is no penis envy We can just roll over and go to sleep after we masturbate because there's no messy clean-up It generally takes us less to get drunk We have a higher tolerance to pain We often get to cut in line Most women actually look good in short shorts- men DONT Better tips Women who dont wear underwear are considered sexy and wild, when men do it, its rather disgusting We have mastered civilized eating - we don't embarass our friends or make loud bodily noises in public Women can go a day without showering or shaving and not look or smell disgusting - thank god for long pants and perfume! We can connive men into doing our homework, writing our papers or carrying our books anytime we want We dont have excessive amounts of body hair We dont spend 45 minutes on the toilet Men will pay us for sex Smoking the seeds in marijuana doesnt make us sterile We can throw a punch at a man and not get hit in return Men may fantasize about having sex with more than one woman at a time, but we can have sex with an entire football team at once if we want Men walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the road so that if a car hits us, he gets hurt not us Women sweat less Women smell better When women make their boyfriends mad, we don't have to waste money on flowers or cards - a blowjob and sex fixes all Men are more often serial killers, thieves, rapists and cheats Women dont get the humor in the three stooges Women have three accessible holes We don't get embarassed when buying tampons We're better gossips We have better fashion sense We're better shoppers We dont have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man Our friends dont pick on us if we arent sleeping with anyone Men don't know what our 'girl talk' is all about (and I'm not gonna tell you) We're all sittin on a gold mine- we know it and use it to our extreme advantage We dont have to drive when on a date An ugly woman can use makeup and get a new hairdo to become presentable - ugly men are just fucked Women can use the old "that mark on my neck is from a curling iron burn" line Women know how fake it Women look better naked We know that rhythm doesnt only pertain to dancing When women are short, we're petite, when men are short, they're just short Women do less time for violent crime Women dont have to worry about not being able to get it up An oblong vegetable is all we need for a good time any night Women's conversations generally consist of more than just "uh huh, yep, ok, then bye" Women don't need an excuse to be in a bad mood Women never have to see combat The remote control is not an extension of ourselves Women are sexier We can get laid ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, ANY WAY we want it! Problem ?

Sorry but most girls suck a COD..

SkoomaKi - Boys don't have to shave? Maybe you haven't hit puberty yet and don't have to shave your face, but we adults do unless we want to look like a caveman. And what the hell do you mean that guys don't have to cook and clean? What the fuck kind of misogynistic bullshit are you spouting? You sound like a complete asshole. I hope you continue beating girls in video games so that they continue ignoring your stupid ass.

TheElderTROLLZ 15

I though the OP was gonna say he got a boner for some reason... But anyway, where the hell do you work?

Before assuming I'm an asshole, have you considered what I said may have been a joke? Stop taking everything so serious DocBastard. Who's the asshole now?

Based on your "my dick has obliterated every blah blah blah" and your "come at me bro" stupidity, I would say you are.

57 so many of these aren't real facts, you also repeated the getting laid a lot... You sounded like a blabbering 12 year old.

EpicSquirrel 0

still you, 65. *run run run*

57-cleaner? Thats a choice. And you contradicted yourself. Sweat less, sweat looks sexy.

Oh sorry I didn't realize that I can't use those phrases. I was referring to another commenter who was saying "my vagina has blah blah blah". Leave it at that.

57 - sweat is sexy on us? Not if it smells like shit.

Ya watever u say What ur reallyyy saying is w/o girls, guys like u cant make food to eat, will live in a pigsty, and hav no kids....? And btw ur totally wrong bout the gamer skills.. I kno girls dat can KICK ASSS lol ... Altho i agree wid the time thing.. I guess we do do that..............zZ

Junizumi4 3

those eye candys you call tits? be proud when the droop to the floor

Holy crap! I've never seen DocBastard argue/say more than two words to or with someone on a thread before! I just saved this under favorites.

The_Troller 14

46- I think overall, more guys play video games, but the girls that DO play are typically better than the guys that do. My sister is actually a hardcore gamer and she wrecks people on TF2 with her female friends.

The_Troller 14

Wow, 78, you must be new here.

Idonebeenhad 17

What kind of games, 34? :)

skyeyez9 24

Some men don't shave. At least I think they don't. For example, I never saw a native american with facial hair or even hair follicles on his face. The same With certain tribes in africa. I don't think they have facial Hair.

Aha so tru

She made me cringe.

80-Not really. I've been on FML for about a year, but I made my account a few months ago. Regardless, I've seen the good Doc make some clever injections, even call put a person or two, nut never get into an argument with somebody. That, for me anyway, is a first.

Angelrose2004 17

Wow! How long did it take you to think of all that? But just an fyi, not all women are lying, cheating, lazy, manipulating, whorish gold diggers. js

gurly98 13

Fuck u

57- You probably googled that, than copy and pasted lol.

@ShoomaKi - I pity your idiocity.

57- That's got to be one of the biggest generalizations I've ever seen. I'm almost ashamed to admit I'm a woman after reading that. I've never met any woman who falls completely under the description you gave, and I hope I never do. Though I know who it was aimed at, I'm not sure if what you said is more insulting to women or to men!

No one's seemed to have mentioned how much it kills for a guy to get kicked in the balls! That has to be a bad thing.

57 A LOT AND I MEAN A LOT, of your points were invalid to most women. Also, I'm pretty sure saying you guys manipulate/lie better is insulting yourself. A lot of the shit you said, guys can do too. 80% of what you said could only be done by a woman who has her man TOTALLY whipped. Besides those points, it was way too long and even I lost interest. You tried to make out all girls to be lying, manipulating, gold-digging, whorish bitches and that couldn't be further from the truth. I really don't see what else you intended to accomplish with that comment. By the way, if that wasn't copy/pasted and those are YOUR qualities, I never want to meet you.

I am a kick ass strategy gamer, thank you very much! Dawn of war!!!

theHIGHroad2 5

57- you do realize that u are calling yourself a whore, right? Getting all ur expenses paid by sleeping with men??? That's low..

Not gonna lie 57 sounds like a lil high schooler that has no idea what real life is like. She just assumes that what she sees on tv is what life is like for an adult women when in reality very few women like havin most of she said handed to them. My ex for example didnt like havin her doors opened, car doors unlocked, etc. unless i was takin her out on a date and my current gf is the same way. Some people juat have no clue.

46- How does that make sense? He did not say "we have more male than female gamers" but rather "more men are better than women at video games than vice-versa" and your comment about quality is wrong because competitive, professional male gamers outnumber competitive, professional female gamers by a wide margin. Therefore in economics terms; males possess what is called an absolute advantage.

Someone literally meant 100 but you did repeat yourself a few times in different ways. And mainly focused on sex and smell

babyyninjas 1

Your lies are not welcome here.

PandaPandamoneum 0

83- that's true about native Americans. I'm part Cherokee and my uncles and grandfather can barely grow a small moustache. They have hair follicles, just not as many as say, a European man

Men and women are all fucking idiots. The End.

lebronesque73091 12

57- I actually read all of that merely out curiosity, and out of all of those qualities, only a few handful are legitimate and worth bragging about, but most aren't. If you live by those qualities, then you sound like a bitch.

lebronesque73091 12

108- It's really good to hear that from a girl :)

Okay gaming has as much to do with gender as cooking, which has also come up. For instance; I am female, love to play video games ( and almost never missed a headshot in melee only games on Combat Arms, that is when I used to play), and am about as good at cooking as my brother. I'm seeing generalization on both sides and truthfully men and women are equal in most things. I saw a mention of higher pain tolerance on women I think, I believe our pain tolerance goes up for child birth but generally is equal to/lower than a males. How the gaming debate started on this FML I will never know. Anyway, go Black Ops! TTFN. PS- Sorry this response is all over the place, I suck at organization.

We dont get periods

Whatever still loving being a man any woman would love to be a man if she had a choice. And if u do all these things that makes u a slut

megamandude455 10

34 your a gamer?

megamandude455 10

57 "ugly men are just fucked" bow chicka bow wow

At 57- you just set the womens rights movement back. U just spewed sexist bs on fml. None of that should be true In a society of equals.

Girls can fake an orgasm, but a guy can fake a whole relationship.

actually women smell like baloney if they dont shower

Greendaycheese 12

30 seconds is terrible :3

The reply button works. Sincerely, A. Girl.

-57 pretty much like 90% of those things depend on the individual

most of these only apply to pretty girls

22- we still have to shave...

Who cares if guys are better gamers lol get off your ass and get a life rather than sitting around and playing video games ?

I believe in some places that's even called prostitution.

And yet you've posted about it indicating otherwise

Feeling awkward? Time for a strap on!

Do you not understand what the point of this site is? I would explain to you, but I'm just gonna give your brain some more time to work it out.

Shes posting about how she finds it normal smartass....

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

135: * he

Boys will be boys

Da_Bauss435 8


It really is the best feeling

edibleamazing 4

Get over it . Us guys have balls , they itch , we scratch them .

That's fine but when they scratch them around food it's gross

Food is better with balls around

Umm yeaaaa no. But you do enjo foo more when you have balls

Yet, when a girls vag itches does she walk around the workplace with her fingers all up in there?

77, we'd be getting raises like crazy.

edibleamazing 4

93^ your my hero

flashback.miss 28


Insightful response.

Why do balls itch? Can someone explain?

choff47436 4

Because we can scratch them

Why does any part of your body itch? It just does.

They get itchy...self explanatory

TheRealOF 4

Most of the time it's not because they itch, it's because they get sweaty and stick to your thighs haha

I'm typing this reply with one hand right now.

Dajucy1 7

Damn, too much sausage not enough taco ;)

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? Because they don't have balls to scratch. You're just jealous. Stop staring at every guys junk and get back to work.