Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year... - FML

By dwellswithin - 20/7/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year ago because he "moved" to Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52365

You deserved it

4528

Tweet

Share

Serious times

Deep-seated resentment

Great guy

By Hotdogwater - 29/12/2016 13:33

Today, my neighbour put in a noise complaint against me for being loud at midnight. I was having a coughing fit and couldn't breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5556

You deserved it

317

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/6/2011 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34150

You deserved it

4949

Tweet

Share

By trooper93 - 18/1/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I received a letter saying that I was accepted into university and that I qualified for a number of scholarships. Too bad an equivalent sum of money will be spent fixing the car I hit, after spinning out on ice, whilst driving home from said university. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26844

You deserved it

4826

Tweet

Share

By Faceplant - 14/11/2017 10:00 - United States - Port Orchard

Smooth move, teach.

Today, I monitored my students as they conducted a lab experiment. I was walking to the other side of the room while looking at a student who seemed about to ask a question. When she looked up at me, I walked into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2936

You deserved it

673

Tweet

Share

By stalker - 27/9/2009 17:24 - United States

Today, I had a restraining order put on me. I have apparently been following a woman's daughter home after she leaves track practice and parking my car outside their home. I'm a math teacher at the school and leave everyday at 4:30. I have lived across the street for the past six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55265

You deserved it

2531

Tweet

Share

By itsEVERYWHERE - 8/3/2010 05:34 - United States

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36976

You deserved it

2602

Tweet

Share

By Danny - 12/9/2018 20:30

Today, after being together for 8 months, I learned that not only was my boyfriend a liar, but that he is also married and has been for 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2988

You deserved it

254

Tweet

Share

By tuggernuts - 17/7/2012 15:32 - United States

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14179

You deserved it

43772

Tweet

Share

By confused - 27/2/2015 03:07 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35265

You deserved it

25855

Tweet

Share

By Ashleighx94 - 5/7/2011 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my bedridden mother called me selfish. After an operation two weeks ago, all I've done is feed her, clean her and the house every day. She called me selfish because I couldn't lift a TV into her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37011

You deserved it

2723

Tweet

Share

By kitkat3308 - 27/9/2013 06:20 - United States

Today, I found out that my controlling, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend from nearly four years ago is still obsessed with me. Apparently, he's told everyone back home that he and I are getting married as soon as I finish college. We haven't spoken in over two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47893

You deserved it

3048

Tweet

Share

By Chaosfigure - 3/9/2017 13:00

Today, after my driving instructor told me I should pass without any worries at all, I completely failed. I was hit by another car. While parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3834

You deserved it

218

Tweet

Share

By What-_- - 25/1/2017 00:00

Today, my roommates keep opening my bedroom door to "let the WiFi out." FML

I agree, your life sucks

4360

You deserved it

520

Tweet

Share

By BaMiTsAnYa - 16/9/2013 01:21 - United States - Orlando

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45050

You deserved it

12806

Tweet

Share

By ohgodwhyyoufreaks - 1/4/2013 11:57 - United States - Moorhead

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49567

You deserved it

6709

Tweet

Share

By FilthyIke - 21/8/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47455

You deserved it

4340

Tweet

Share

By nolinguist - 22/11/2009 17:39 - Austria

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28214

You deserved it

18714

Tweet

Share

By Not That Old - 28/7/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I went to El Pollo Loco for the $10.00 special. I ordered from the pimple-faced kid at the register, pulled out two fives, and he said, "That'll be 9.70, I gave you the senior discount." I'm 10 years away from that. Thank you? FML

I agree, your life sucks

31002

You deserved it

6649

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/4/2017 16:00

Today, I confronted my lousy, loud, messy neighbors about the trash they throw in my yard. They responded by throwing my trash in their yard, then called the police to report me for vandalism and illegal dumping when I returned their trash. Guess who has a court appearance in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5676

You deserved it

390

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/10/2012 22:27 - Canada - Truro

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9659

You deserved it

40427

Tweet

Share

By backseatbusted - 21/5/2013 16:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56649

You deserved it

12939

Tweet

Share

By itisobviouseinstein - 30/9/2015 03:31 - United States - New York

Today, a bible toting evangelist on the street ambushed me and asked me what my religion was. I wear a hijab. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24705

You deserved it

3665

Tweet

Share

By fallingforfakenamesandmindgames - 27/7/2017 13:00

A dealer of both drugs and hugs

Today, I found out that the reason why the guy I took home from the bar seemed to understand everything about me instantly was because he was my ex's secret drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3601

You deserved it

469

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/1/2012 00:55 - United States

Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30628

You deserved it

2771

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/6/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50222

You deserved it

3513

Tweet

Share

By loveade11 - 12/1/2010 19:28 - France

Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11666

You deserved it

35316

Tweet

Share

By sarah - 18/4/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51961

You deserved it

10950

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/9/2015 13:00 - United States - Grand Junction

Warrior

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30332

You deserved it

3236

Tweet

Share

By Sad.To.Be.Me. - 13/1/2012 23:56 - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a World of Warcraft commercial came on. He turned to me and said, "Yeah, I'd choose the Horde over you any day." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28456

You deserved it

4419

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/1/2012 20:02 - United States

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27955

You deserved it

4197

Tweet

Share

By Typicalwhitechick - 18/6/2017 00:00

Today, I finally have a day to go to the library and read for hours. Today is also a playday event for toddlers. In the library. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4614

You deserved it

506

Tweet

Share

By Jan - 18/10/2013 06:13 - United States

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48491

You deserved it

2971

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/12/2010 03:03 - Korea Republic of

Today, I met my boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents. I had to listen to them while they called me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compared to nice, pretty, Korean girls. They don't know I speak Korean. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53750

You deserved it

3513

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/6/2009 04:28 - United States

Today, I took a nap with a kitten I just adopted from my mom's house. To make her feel more comfortable, I took a nap with her on my bed. In my dream, I kept smelling poo and I felt around on the bed to find the kitten. She apparently had diarrhea on my bed and I had stuck my hand in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45086

You deserved it

8252

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/5/2012 19:23 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24184

You deserved it

4708

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, I woke up and rolled out of bed. I'm on the top mattress of a bunk bed. We have tile floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34711

You deserved it

8648

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/12/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27526

You deserved it

3843

Tweet

Share

By Nonbikerbiker - 8/12/2018 22:00

Today, while enjoying a nice drive on my motorcycle, I got into an accident. I was lucky to have minor injuries, but my bike was totaled. When I got home, I found the driver of the car that hit me sitting in my living room. My partner introduced us by saying, “and this is my gay lover, grandpa.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

3062

You deserved it

225

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/7/2013 16:53 - United States - Concord

Today, I was at Walmart. A guy in a mobility scooter bumped into me, then told me to "get the fuck out of the way." When I told him to watch his mouth, he got up and shoved me into a shelf. Just a few minutes prior, he'd yelled that he was paralyzed from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52489

You deserved it

3577

Tweet

Share

By babysitter - 17/4/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64825

You deserved it

3722

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By DirtyParkBench | 0

#414794 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:51

He could've just come back to visit, smart one.

By fxdxhk90 | 0

#414779 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:48

The "I'm moving" excuse, that's a classic.

COMMENTS

By fxdxhk90 | 0

#414779 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:48

The "I'm moving" excuse, that's a classic.

Reply

ManImCool | 0

#415245 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 4:37

post #69, omg lol i win!

Reply

unlucky_angel02 | 0

#415376 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 6:06

Dipshit

Reply

kaitRAGE | 0

#415390 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 6:15

@69, LOL. /highfive.

Reply

ChrisWasHere | 0

#415407 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 6:24

What a gay FML. The OP is a retard.

By onlycusimbored | 0

#414788 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:50

He could've moved and came back, dumbass.

Reply

fosizzlemynizzlE | 0

#414797 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:51

or he could have been visiting.

Reply

wut_fml | 0

#415173 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 3:44

LOL seriously, this one is stupid.

By DirtyParkBench | 0

#414794 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:51

He could've just come back to visit, smart one.

By melodyalam | 0

#414795 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:51

How do you not notice that he never left? He could have just been coming back.

By Mellieexbabee | 0

#414798 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:51

Agree with # 3! i was gunna say that haha. yeah he could have been visitingg!

By smellanie | 0

#414802 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:52

he probably left and came back.

By CaptainStew | 0

#414812 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:55

Why are you assuming?
Besides, it's been a year. He could have moved back or is visiting.
If it was a week, yeah sure FYL to the max.

FYL for breaking up with him, but YDI for assuming.

Reply

Plumppotato | 3

#415302 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 5:19

well if it was a week then he couldve just not moved yet...

By plexico | 3

#414816 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:56

Florida is overrated and it sucks. I call it Flori-duh for all the stupid people that live there. A lot of people go there and hate it and go back home.

You suck for putting your boyfriend through all that pain and heartache just to get rid of you!

By jaybrown | 0

#414827 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:00

10th!!!

By brown_eyed_girl | 0

#414842 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:02

and u didn't realize it until now that he wasn't gone? stupid.

Reply

MzMegs | 20

#415520 - Tuesday 21 July 2009 7:54

Fail.