Love: Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year... - FML

By dwellswithin - 20/07/2009 22:00 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year ago because he "moved" to Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 403

You deserved it 4 529

Hard no

Dumdum moment

Watch where you're going

By Paicked - 25/01/2012 12:33 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 17 632

Bisexual!

By Anonymous - 25/11/2019 14:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 684

You deserved it 252

Social media was a mistake

By Gorgonzola - 13/11/2021 07:59

Today, my now ex-girlfriend dumped me because I refuse to open an account on Facebook, Instagram or whatever. Four years ago, I had to retire from social media for good because another ex-girlfriend was harassing me frequently. No, I didn't have any children with that ex, if that's what you think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 81

By mish - 22/09/2013 20:41 - United Kingdom - Leominster

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 144

You deserved it 4 167

By fuggers :/ - 24/11/2013 21:38 - United Kingdom - Basingstoke

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 468

You deserved it 3 800

By Anonymous - 29/07/2015 12:04 - United States - Camden

Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 721

You deserved it 2 544

By pasha - 16/05/2015 00:51 - Canada - Beamsville

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 086

You deserved it 2 837

By kewlio45 - 01/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 880

You deserved it 6 319

By Sally - 31/10/2018 22:00 - United States

Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 739

You deserved it 1 281

By Anonymous - 10/05/2017 04:00

Today, my mom came in to hug me while I was sleeping, or so I thought. I woke up and tried to hug her back, only to find she had wrapped a tape measure around me. She was trying to measure my bust size to win a bet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 776

You deserved it 365

By Jade - 25/04/2011 13:49 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 268

You deserved it 9 643

By negin - 22/03/2011 07:23

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 090

You deserved it 6 736

By Anonymous - 26/03/2018 12:00 - United States

Today, I got fired because I abruptly hung up on my boss while being pulled over for talking in a hands free zone. I also got a $300 fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 707

You deserved it 2 087

By LD - 23/01/2015 16:46 - United States - Nampa

Spicy

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 337

You deserved it 4 182

Quickie

By Disappointed - 04/09/2020 20:08 - Austria

Spicy

Today, my 6-minute-long-shower lasted 3 times as long as the sex prior to it. Including foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 246

DIY FML

By Anonymous - 03/05/2021 02:02

Today, after spending hundreds of dollars on parts and tools, and hours of research to teach myself how to perform the work, I upgraded my bike. It was also today that I made it 4 blocks from my house on my first ride before I hit a curb and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 132

Heavy

By Anonymous - 21/09/2019 04:04 - United States

Today, a 100-foot maple tree fell on my house. I was inside. I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 86

By zamwow - 20/12/2013 23:36 - United States - Ridgefield Park

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 676

You deserved it 8 845

By an unlucky man - 05/08/2016 09:37 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 3 080

By DarrenP - 03/08/2019 22:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I got a burn on my foot from a Pot Noodle I didn't even want. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 140

By Anonymous - 04/10/2012 18:10 - United States - Omaha

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 248

You deserved it 2 326

My life is average

By Kohsukeff - 07/12/2020 08:02 - United States - Gig Harbor

Today, as a single, 24-year old college graduate working temp jobs outside his field, the only thing I look forward to in my day is what I get to eat for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 27/07/2012 14:10 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 918

You deserved it 3 536

By Anonymous - 31/01/2011 17:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my fiancé ended our engagement, saying he wanted to have "one last quickie" for the road. He saw nothing wrong with that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 929

You deserved it 4 019

By Brianna Michelle Ferrell - 18/09/2018 13:30

Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 487

You deserved it 333

By budadepressed - 18/07/2016 21:22 - United States - Burnsville

Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 500

You deserved it 1 055

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 20:24 - United States - Lufkin

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 195

You deserved it 4 147

Wait, what?

By HereToLaughAtU - 18/11/2014 04:16 - United States - Des Moines

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 401

You deserved it 4 792

By cowgurl91 - 13/01/2010 21:40 - France

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 226

You deserved it 42 278

By Quirk - 29/10/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 182

You deserved it 7 024

By Anonymous - 05/10/2017 20:00

Today, I was crying after a bad day at work. As I walked down the street, a young boy in a minivan tried to get my attention. He kept saying, "Hi, hi, please wave!" in a sad voice. When I politely waved at him, I saw a group of kids in the van giggling hysterically and taking pictures of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 229

You deserved it 272

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 22:02 - United States

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 137

You deserved it 5 053

By hannamacintosh - 28/06/2016 17:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 673

You deserved it 1 564

By Jesus - 27/09/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 227

You deserved it 31 898

By me - 20/11/2013 15:28 - United States - Bronx

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 121

You deserved it 3 826

Stomach bug?

By Heather Scurfield - 21/03/2021 10:59

Today, I was going to be sick, so I ran to the bathroom. When I got there, I fainted, and fell back against the wall. When I came around, I immediately vomited all down my body, in my hair, and all over the floor. My cat judged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 93

By Fridaythe12th - 15/03/2010 04:51 - United States

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed but out of business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 816

You deserved it 4 849

I don't care

By Anonymous - 13/02/2020 19:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend sent me a revenge video of her having sex with another guy, because I cheated on her. I got angry with her, but later used the video to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 5 155

By cock sauce - 09/06/2012 21:15 - Switzerland - Luzern

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 344

You deserved it 29 555

Bad date #3764

By Greenpuppy416 - 04/07/2020 05:02

Today, I had a date at a formal restaurant I'm well known at. My date showed up two and a half hours late with a jogging suit on, and then got mad at me for ordering, eating, and paying without him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 727

You deserved it 127

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Top comments

DirtyParkBench 0

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:51

He could've just come back to visit, smart one.

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:48

The "I'm moving" excuse, that's a classic.

Comments

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:48

The "I'm moving" excuse, that's a classic.

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 4:37

post #69, omg lol i win!

unlucky_angel02 0

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 6:06

Dipshit

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 6:15

@69, LOL. /highfive.

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 6:24

What a gay FML. The OP is a retard.

onlycusimbored 0

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:50

He could've moved and came back, dumbass.

fosizzlemynizzlE 0

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:51

or he could have been visiting.

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 3:44

LOL seriously, this one is stupid.

DirtyParkBench 0

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:51

He could've just come back to visit, smart one.

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:51

How do you not notice that he never left? He could have just been coming back.

Mellieexbabee 0

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:51

Agree with # 3! i was gunna say that haha. yeah he could have been visitingg!

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:52

he probably left and came back.

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:55

Why are you assuming? Besides, it's been a year. He could have moved back or is visiting. If it was a week, yeah sure FYL to the max. FYL for breaking up with him, but YDI for assuming.

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 5:19

well if it was a week then he couldve just not moved yet...

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 0:56

Florida is overrated and it sucks. I call it Flori-duh for all the stupid people that live there. A lot of people go there and hate it and go back home. You suck for putting your boyfriend through all that pain and heartache just to get rid of you!

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:00

10th!!!

brown_eyed_girl 0

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 1:02

and u didn't realize it until now that he wasn't gone? stupid.

MzMegs 20

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 7:54

Fail.

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12

You deserved it 8

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 16

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 1 929

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 189