Transportation: Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back...

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23186

You deserved it

5044

Favorite

Transportation

And today, on Dr Phil…

Compassion

Fragile

By LostSoul

Today, I found out my daughter was planning a wedding and invited everyone but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1658

You deserved it

436

Favorite

By Anonymous - Israel

Today, my husband told me that he never washes his hands after using the bathroom because he thinks it's only for "paranoid people". FML

I agree, your life sucks

32347

You deserved it

3708

Favorite

By nano123

Played yourself

Today, I gave myself a hickey on my bicep just to know how it feels. I'm a 28-year-old virgin and yes, that's possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1485

You deserved it

507

Favorite

By annoyedgirl - United States - Ephrata

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52430

You deserved it

4719

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a 24-hour taco shop, while he was wearing a tee-shirt that says "F*** Me I'm Famous." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35968

You deserved it

9513

Favorite

By daddydaughterWTF - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27423

You deserved it

2601

Favorite

By poop - United States

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42543

You deserved it

19466

Favorite

By Andy

Today, on my Facebook newsfeed, I noticed a photo of a coworker. In the comment section of the photo he and his wife had written "I love you" to each other. As a joke I commented "get a room". Turns out the woman with the same surname as my coworker wasn't in fact his wife, but his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3852

You deserved it

6128

Favorite

By fail - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28184

You deserved it

5825

Favorite

By RIPJarJar

Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4496

You deserved it

470

Favorite

By emoflowers - United States - Amarillo

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29357

You deserved it

3315

Favorite

By Michelle - Australia - Richmond

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50607

You deserved it

5601

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I realised that every morning my girlfriend gets me to help her put on a locket her ex-boyfriend bought her on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35510

You deserved it

4554

Favorite

By GlueAndCarrots - Canada - Markham

Today, I told my daughter that we're going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog that we buried in our back yard last week so it can come along. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25049

You deserved it

1778

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - San Leandro

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36900

You deserved it

1784

Favorite

By tinyfeet - New Zealand

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20388

You deserved it

1279

Favorite

By bunintheoven - United States - Seligman

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33328

You deserved it

5078

Favorite

By UnwantedDisappointment

Today, I accidentally saw my boyfriend's sexts to a guy he's friends with. He's been turning me down for sex for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2763

You deserved it

236

Favorite

By projectfain - United States - Akron

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47814

You deserved it

3187

Favorite

By erptwerp - United States

Today, it's my 25th birthday and all of the friends who promised they could come had excuses why they couldn't make it. Now I'm at the bar, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23352

You deserved it

1538

Favorite

By lolwut - United States - Albany

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be ok if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

48103

You deserved it

18070

Favorite

By sammsamm56 - United States

Today, I found out that my over protective brother is going to move in with me when he gets out of jail. My chances of ever being in a relationship are now next to zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34315

You deserved it

4635

Favorite

By Oh dear... - United States

Today, I told my college friend that I considered her to be my best friend. She responded, "I don't think you should call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40210

You deserved it

4058

Favorite

By ninnang - United States - Honolulu

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48951

You deserved it

3493

Favorite

By Queerbait - Australia

Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23673

You deserved it

2388

Favorite

By Uncircumcised Penis - Canada - Richmond

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30527

You deserved it

2451

Favorite

By SingleGirl - United Kingdom

Today, my mum grounded me for going to my boyfriend's house instead of the library. She said my boyfriend's mum phoned up because she could hear us having it off in his room. When I denied it my mum shouted at me for being a liar as well as a slut. I did go to the library. FML

I agree, your life sucks

84938

You deserved it

4202

Favorite

By anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, while arriving to a date for the first time in a couple years, the first thing out of his mouth was, "I'm only dressed up because I had court today." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34226

You deserved it

3947

Favorite

By anonymous - France

Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29459

You deserved it

4258

Favorite

By garfield749 - United States

Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30047

You deserved it

2242

Favorite

By pizzalady

Today, while delivering pizza I was yet again given $0.04 over the total bill and told condescendingly to "keep the change". This happens on every shift. My pay is reduced during deliveries, and I drive my own car and use my own gas. For $0.04. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7962

You deserved it

764

Favorite

By dominator152 - United States

Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52004

You deserved it

3819

Favorite

By ILTali - United States

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

I agree, your life sucks

121605

You deserved it

8154

Favorite

By Woops - United States - Secaucus

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22780

You deserved it

47150

Favorite

By BeautifulDisastre - United States

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29422

You deserved it

4737

Favorite

By - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19339

You deserved it

46113

Favorite

By apparently inexperienced - United States - Brockton

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33598

You deserved it

6453

Favorite

By Sad preggo

Today, my attention-seeking sister-in-law came to my 20 week ultrasound and afterward, without my knowledge, took it upon herself to announce the gender to Facebook and call the entire family, telling them "we're having a boy" nullifying any need for the announcement I had spent 4 weeks planning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7615

You deserved it

731

Favorite

By MrDanito - Czech Republic - Lysa Nad Labem

Today, I never thought I would see a blowjob from the perspective of the viewer, but it happened, in our open-space office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16412

You deserved it

1638

Favorite

By officework - Canada - Toronto

Today, during the "what can your manager do to help with your career aspirations" section of my annual review, my manager basically told me she wouldn't help me and I should quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22394

You deserved it

1647

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By bitchesbcrazy | 0

#3997788 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:45

Damned batshit psychopaths

By sweetness17 | 7

#3997791 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:45

15 minutes can save you 15% on your car insurance.

COMMENTS

By hatesfate | 6

#3997776 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:44

Ouch. That sucks. Hope they have good insurance!

robotchicken19 | 0

#3997814 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:47

Hopefully he listened to the gecko and got geico.

biggestfan23 | 11

#3998006 - Monday 6 February 2012 3:20

Yea that's when you beep the horn repeatedly.

kooochris1995 | 14

#3998303 - Monday 6 February 2012 4:26

What's with all the fmls about parking lately? Lol

trollfaced | 2

#3999170 - Monday 6 February 2012 5:25

At least you weren't driving a smart car

royalt313 | 0

#3999176 - Monday 6 February 2012 5:26

That's what your horn is for.. Waving isn't going to do anything bro.

I_Punch_Babies | 7

#3999536 - Monday 6 February 2012 7:11

I bet the guy hit him on purpose

kj51 | 5

#3999570 - Monday 6 February 2012 7:27

"it's that bitch who stole my spot in line"

By MelTheGreat | 23

#3997777 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:44

who needs driving school?

Katiekhalifa_fml | 28

#3997946 - Monday 6 February 2012 3:01

Is that a rhetorical question..?

MelTheGreat | 23

#3998073 - Monday 6 February 2012 3:35

Duh.

amyjadee | 0

#3998125 - Monday 6 February 2012 3:45

Your mother.

The_Tool1 | 13

#3998256 - Monday 6 February 2012 4:16

Is that a fat joke?

Dadz_fml | 0

#3999037 - Monday 6 February 2012 5:01

No.

MrSassypants | 32

#3999076 - Monday 6 February 2012 5:08

Is this also a random, stupid question to add on to the others in this thread?

The_Tool1 | 13

#3999153 - Monday 6 February 2012 5:22

Mrsassypants, quit putting up pointless questions. Tool

LunaDragon | 10

#3999458 - Monday 6 February 2012 6:42

I just wanted to board the fail train, am I in the right place?

tanneriscool | 2

#3999914 - Monday 6 February 2012 9:12

Is this spot taken? I need company for this long ride..

capper44 | 18

#4000748 - Monday 6 February 2012 16:01

Well if you gonna teach then i would just go for lesson while i do have a lisence lol :p

tanneriscool | 2

#4007593 - Wednesday 8 February 2012 4:16

^^ Are you speaking a language?

McDonaldsworker | 4

#4012390 - Thursday 9 February 2012 8:30

Hey all!

That's the spirit!
Let's all get thumbed down together!

kylo_117 | 17

#6560002 - Tuesday 15 March 2016 22:51

SpongeBob

By msm0220 | 0

#3997781 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:44

Lot vulture.

EatnBeef | 7

#3998093 - Monday 6 February 2012 3:40

Thems fightin words OP. I didn't see you.

By bitchesbcrazy | 0

#3997788 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:45

Damned batshit psychopaths

schrodingersdog | 4

#3997953 - Monday 6 February 2012 3:06

You forgot insane!

WaSiSimiLang | 8

#3998231 - Monday 6 February 2012 4:11

Errr... What? Them being blind /= they are psychopaths... Blind batshit yes...

grapisy | 8

#3998930 - Monday 6 February 2012 4:40

I would be quite frightened if I saw a pile of guano driving towards me. Although "Night of the Living Bat Shit" DOESN'T quite have the right ring to it for a horror film...

DrOfTheInternet | 6

#3999108 - Monday 6 February 2012 5:14

Make a driving mistake? Must be a psychopath who is trying to kill everyone. Wtf?

2ndSucks | 15

#3999442 - Monday 6 February 2012 6:38

Don't be a killjoy. Just laugh at the damn FML.

AlexanderSilver | 0

#4001242 - Monday 6 February 2012 18:44

70 I agree. OP acts like the man was too busy cannibalizing his friend to look around.

By sweetness17 | 7

#3997791 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:45

15 minutes can save you 15% on your car insurance.

hahahaidontgetit_fml | 5

#3997809 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:47

or more!

silentbutfunny | 0

#3997870 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:53

By switching to Geico

Minecraftering | 5

#3998216 - Monday 6 February 2012 4:08

And giving someone a blowjob.

The_Tool1 | 13

#3998919 - Monday 6 February 2012 4:39

15 minutes can get you a lot from me.

Bigmoneyshotz | 0

#3999039 - Monday 6 February 2012 5:02

LMFAO!!!

quite_bored | 9

#3999287 - Monday 6 February 2012 5:50

But the question is: Are you in good hands?

2ndSucks | 15

#3999426 - Monday 6 February 2012 6:32

Well, only one specific part of him... That is, if the fifteen dollars allows such business.

sweetness17 | 7

#4007460 - Wednesday 8 February 2012 3:29

60- what does that mean exactly?

PackardBell_fml | 19

#6613686 - Tuesday 24 May 2016 5:47

And, is State Farm there like a good neighbor?

By omfg_creepers | 8

#3997793 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:46

From psychopath's perspective: "Oops! Just a little dinger, that's what insurance is for."

Awsumuzzie | 12

#3998320 - Monday 6 February 2012 4:33

Lol this reminds me, the should pull out the tooth brush and tooth paste.

Awsumuzzie | 12

#3998339 - Monday 6 February 2012 4:35

They*, sorry.

By xbella | 8

#3997795 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:46

waving? why didn't you honk.

Keebz_02 | 0

#3999515 - Monday 6 February 2012 7:04

Apparently, in OP's mind, the horn is only for use in letting someone know the light has turned green.

P_to_the_AM | 9

#3999677 - Monday 6 February 2012 8:27

Or just back up when you see him coming closer?

KiddNYC1O | 20

#4001586 - Monday 6 February 2012 20:11

112- it's a parking lot. Chances are there were parked cars right behind op.

By pinkcrayola | 0

#3997828 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:48

This happened to me before except they told the insurance company it was my fault.

By DontClickOnMe | 28

#3997836 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:49

I would've honked if I saw that they were backing up too much. Or I would try to back up a little, too.

By chaela | 3

#3997837 - Monday 6 February 2012 2:49

Should have honked or backed up your car!

Vernetto | 8

#3999383 - Monday 6 February 2012 6:21

The batshit insane psychopath probably backed up too quickly for OP to react at all.

justalilrandom2 | 4

#4000238 - Monday 6 February 2012 11:33

I did both, the car behind me did nothing, result? Accident is my fault, op as long as it isn't your fault why sweat it? You'll be fine, honest.