By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 935
You deserved it 3 436

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At least it wasn't lit on fire

I doubt the dog did it all by herself...


I doubt the dog did it all by herself...

No the neighborhood Mafia composed of a parakeet, 5 hamsters, a squirrel, and a pitbull is responsible for this!

#11- I love you for your comment.

At least it wasn't lit on fire

referencing billy Madison btw

Im sure its a misunderstanding


The flaming dog shit in a bag is a really well known, commonly used prank. You do not need to cite your sources. If people don't get it, that sucks for them. For us of us who do get it, it only ruins the joke...

I would have left a note on my door saying "Person who left crap at my door, what the hell did I do to you?" and see if I get a response... lol

That's some funny shit right there.

I see what you did there

Shit just hit the fan!

Good you have the ability to understand it. Now have the ability to understand that you don't have to post that you understood it.

3-So much better than "that's a shitty situation." Thank you

My apologies for the shitty pun. I'll just bite my lip and hold it in next time.

Biting your lip is fine, but I don't recommend holding in your shit.

There is a stigmatized joke pertaining to shit and "it" getting real. Just wait for it..

Real just got shit!

After reading ops' name and every comment, I have opted to threadjack myself, and propose that it WAS in fact The Mafia. Amish Mafia that is. and that was horse manure, not dog poop.

The fecal matter has struck the rotational wind deflector.

No, it impacted the forced air node in a particularly odiferous manner. ;)

That joke was comparable to animal excrement.

Hide yo kids hide yo wife cuz they putti dog shit everywhere

Or what more than dog poop is...

Holy crap im glad that wasn't just me going wtf? You totally made me snort....

*punches ya in the nuts* "You know what you did!"

Maybe it's time to invest in some security cameras?

Maybe OP can get that material DNA tested? It might tell what breed of dog or cat it is.

How will DNA testing help him figure out who he pissed off and how? -__-

because it might not truly be dog poop.

Or stop sleep walking.

Maybe you could get a finger print test on the paper so you can track them down. Hopefully it was a mistake and not aimed towards you.

They could step it up. They could get the dog shit print sent to a science lab, have them test the genetics, then put it through the world wide dog data base, and see which dog the shit belongs to.

Maybe do both. :3

Technically, there *is* a DNA database for dogs. It's in Toronto, Ontario, but sadly, it'll do little more than tell you what breeds of dog your dog is (basically, a mutt identifier). And you'll need a mouth swab and around $80.

Ooooooooh! Shit's getting real!!!!