Rule number 1 : Remember to always check your voicemail before you start applying to jobs.

Rule number 3: Don't leave your email as [email protected]

Rule number 4: Update your resume. Stop lying about speaking spanish ect.

This is exactly what happened to me too. Actually it probably saved me from a horrible employment at Target, especially considering their reputation now, but it smartened me up on public image. Now at the age of 18 I'm a professional and performer making 75-100 dollars an hour.

Rule number 5: One fight at a time.

30. "At the age of 18 I'm a professional and performer" You don't have to be ashamed of it. Just say it. Stripper.

#32 You've made my day xD !

bandz to make her dance!!!

#1-You are incredibly attractive, or as we say in America- Daaayyuuuuuumm!!

Back off 46, I made her day! Ancient Aramaic law clearly states, "if you make a woman's day you must wed her immediately and her father must bring a dowry of ten sheep."

I doubt your voicemail will convince him not to hire you

It will, actually. Because it shows that OP could be immature on the job, or not take anything seriously.

If it were between op and another potential employee, the supervisor will probably choose to go with someone who has a mature voicemail. Besides, who knows what Op said while droning on in her voicemail.

29- Agreed. I've listened to voicemails like that and they are beyond annoying.

I'm often on hiring committees at work. If I were to get that kind of message, I wouldn't have called back the second time. And yeah, you'd have dumbed yourself out of a job.

#21, #26, #33, #38 I have to say that i am happy that we don't have you guys at my work place. I have bruno lazy song on my voice mail & i sort of make 40 to 60 $ an hour & if i was calling OP then we all staff should have taken it in a fun way. However an employee is not bound to have to change his living style at personal level. Just he/she should be doing their job professionally. Unless its a company's cell phone & cell number given clients, then yes after getting hired he should change it. P.S anyone can miss number of calls, you just don't decide through their funny voice mail. But OP be a little sharp next time. If you are expecting a call lol

Why should I take a juvenile recording in a fun way? I'm looking to hire someone, not deal with immature people. If you don't have the attention to detail to change your phone message when you know employers are going to call you, you don't have the attention to detail to work for me. Sorry.

I didn't hire a person based on the crappy rap song they had as their ringback tune. I did interview her - she came across as the hood rat I assumed from the song - but she already lost the position before she stepped in the door.

As management who is often on hiring committees, let me say this. I am not going to wait through a five minute idiotic phone message in order to tell someone they're hired. In this economy it's a buyers market. When we post a single minimum wage + 25c/hr job on the government job search website we often have over 50 apps in before the close of business. So we pretty much look for any reason to drop someone from the shortlist. Perfumed paper? File 13. Misspelled words on resume? Welcome to the shredder. Five minute phone mesasge before I can even leave one? Seeya. It's all about triage and getting that number of resumes down to a reasonable manageable size.

Perfume on an application? Sounds to me she is willing to get to the top in ways us hard working folk won't try. I figured sluts would save that for when they met their boss in person. Talk about jumping the gun.

I wouldn't, those types of voicemail messages show a complete lack of respect. YDI.

@54 Exactly the reason they get File 13'd. If they can't be subtle, I don't want'em!

#50 doesnt matter if its employer's market or not. All you gotta do is have something on your resume that the employer is ready to wait through that 5 minute message.

See, it does matter that it's a buyers market. That thing you have on your resume that you think makes you special? There's at least a couple other people with the same thing also applying. Who don't make me wait through a five minute message when I try to hire them.

maybe they laughed about since they kept calling. or maybe they just made fun of you by listening to it over and over.

What I wouldn't give to hear those conversations...

What about your life, or all of your possessions? Or even your sense of hearing?

4- I'm really confused by your comment... So you don't want to hear the conversations?

Gosh, that's sounds so dumb..

What he's pretty much saying is that he would give anything to hear those conversations.

#10 let me rephrase that into a question, which for you hopefully makes more sense. "What (thing) would I not give, to hear that conversation?" so yeah, I do want to hear it. #7 depends completely on the conversation ;)

Thank you for explaining :) ... Instead of just thumbing me down like the few people have done

I did both.

Oh I see, what a punch to the self-confidence... Oh well, thanks for explaining anyway :)

I had a normal voicemail and one of my friends still thought I had actually answered the phone and was talking to her.... You can't win either way

If it was one of those "Hello? Hold on I cant hear you...Ah!! Got ya! just kidding! I can't come to the phone right now" voicemails, that's not normal...and its really annoying!

Nope, it was your run of the mill "Hi! I can't get to the phone, if you'll please leave a message after tone" voicemail :/

Another one of those expensive life lessons. Try calling the employer & explaining OP

Well hopefully if/when he calls back it won't go to an answering machine that has a similar stupid gag.

I'd try calling them and explaining but either way first impressions are everything :/ I'd probably start looking elsewhere, sorry OP. But still try to contact them, you never know.

I use to have one of those too...then I changed it for that exact reason

I thought it was hilarious when i was younger. Then we all grew up... Except OP.

Your FML should be titled 'stupid me'. The voicemail didn't record itself; that would be like saying that guns kill people.

Guns don't kill people. Having an erection for more than four hours does.

Guns don't kill people, people kill themselves

Go away environmentalist

Valuable life lesson: When you want to be seen as an adult, able to accept the responsibility for an adult job, make sure your voicemail message doesn't contain fart sounds and sounds professional, and set up a specific email address for business purposes so you can keep track of replies. Oh, and please make it something other than "[email protected]"

That email address made my day