By PUA - United States
  Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
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  Sparks808  |  10

What about this FML made you think Pokemon? Lol, but go dad, he's just looking out for his daughters' best interests. If you want to protect junior, don't hurt his daughter ;)

  downtime  |  12

12, His daughters best interests would be to let her experience life, including the heartache and painful times that go along with it.
OP, don't bother with the idiot. He's all words.

  MrBobby_fml  |  7

That's not looking out for his girls best interests, that's being controlling and scary. Did she ask for his help?

Also, what... so the dad is gonna bury this guys dick in a tree trunk?


176-Get all badges u can get, search every building u haven't visited, and talk to a lab person from the Prof. if u find one(should be close to silver mt.) and also everyone else, btw, do u have the master ball? If not, find rockets' hideout.

  atomica96  |  0

Her father just wants to set some rules so he doesnt get careless or foolish and break her heart. Yeah this world is full of jerks and crap but that doesnt mean the bf needs to be one.

  rofflewaffle  |  9

Use the term former Marine. An ex-Marine is somebody who got kicked out and no longer deserves to wear the title. He earned the right to the name, so show him some respect.

  bunny911  |  16

My dad is into archery, his method was to hit the bull's eye with three arrows in a row with my bf standing beside him. No words were needed, the look on the bf's face said enough.

By  kainpwnsu  |  19

I bought a shotgun, just so I could clean it, whenever some horny douche bag comes to pick up my daughter. While leering ay him, I mention that I also own remote land in Montana and a shovel. Seems to be working.

  teague95  |  16

You seem just like my girlfriend's father. Every time I'm at her house he makes it a point to show me his newest gun and tell me about his lake house where screams can't be heard. I'm not joking.

  downtime  |  12

64, Thats when you tell him about how that would have been really useful to you had you not finished recovery for your nymphomania and anger management issues. Fortunately, the doctor said you're legally fine so long as you stay on your pills.
She may be forbidden from seeing you again, but at least you get a laugh out of it and avoid ending up in a family full of morons.

  wlddog  |  14

No judge on the planet would convict a father for scaring the hell out of his daughters latest boyfriend. Shoot, he could probably actually do it and simply tell the judge you attacked his daughter. Point of the story is, don't try to have a one night stand with a girl who's dad will defend her honor.

  DjeePee  |  24

"Point of the story is, don't try to have a one night stand with a girl who's dad will defend her honor."

But why should the dad defend her honor (on this way)? Isn't she responsible for her own honor, her own life?