By great 1st impression - United Kingdom - Derby
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML
Add a comment
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Create my account Sign in
Top comments
By  The_Big_Boss  |  20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

  theawkwardlife  |  21

Once I found a turd in the public toilet that was so big that it made me wonder if the reason they didn't flush was because it left the owner paralyzed. So ya, no ones gonna look at your shit and think, "Wow that's amazing! I aspire to one day have a shit like this one!" No pride. Just pity.

  \  |  28

#4 - It just means you eat a lot/have a shitty diet. That's nothing to be proud of, holmes

  JoshTheTacoMan  |  19

#50 Have you seen Men In Black 3? Agent K. Almost forgot to leave a tip which would've blown up the Earth. Maybe you would've been eaten by a turtle if you didn't know this. You never know.

  Enslaved  |  36

Maybe I'm different but for some reason (unless I get struck by food poisoning) I'm able to hold my shit surprisingly for serval hours. I can't remember the last time I used a public restroom to do the deed. It's always been done privately in my own home.
Granted sometimes I did rush home because my booty wanted to play-- turtle poking its head out!


"Prepared?" By what? Using an enema? If I can't go, then I can't go. And I'll hold it as long as I can when I'm not home, but if I really have to go, then there's no stopping it.

Everyone poops, and I feel like others shouldn't make a big deal out of it, even if it's horrific smelling. It must have been awfully embarrassing to have the dad yell that out like that!

  zandalee  |  19

Or at least double flush!!
God doesn't everyone know to do this?
As soon as the monster is unleashed flush.
Then again after wiping.
Cuts back on a lot of released stink!

By  gracehi  |  31

I once read a book, "Everybody Poops." It taught me to love myself and my fellow earthlings for we all have this in common. You should give it a read, and not be ashamed of your foul excretion.

By  garebear61  |  14

So as I am reading this FMl there is a kid in the stall next to me screaming "I can't" followed by groans and crying and I no longer feel comfortable enough to finish my poop! But yea if your letting out something that bad you should've even asked for air freshener as a heads up to everyone else! May be embarrassing, but probably leaves a better impression than the actual situation.

By  FranklySpeaking  |  11

There's no shame in the toilet game. If ever asked, just admit to the dispersion of foul waste and keep your head high.
If someone walked in after one of my dueces with that reaction, I'd likely chuckle and claim it (maybe apologize if the reaction wasn't exaggerated).
I hope you enjoyed dinner.