Today, I met my boyfriend's grandparents for the first time....

By lizard - 9/1/2011 00:22 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandparents for the first time. When my boyfriend introduced us, his grandfather smiled at me, took my hand, and said in the most polite voice, "Wow, you're not nearly as pretty as he described you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29545

You deserved it

2900

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Sewer monster

Gratitude walks

Territorial pissings

By Anonymous - 21/11/2017 15:00

Today, some official photographs went live on our company website. As I took a closer look, I realised I was in the background of one photo unloading boxes from a van. My trousers were halfway down my ass, flashing my butt crack for the whole internet to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2730

You deserved it

1323

Favorite

By not_very_smart - 24/7/2013 06:44 - United States

Today, it was so hot in the un-airconditioned gym that when I got up off the floor, I slipped in my own pool of sweat and got a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47572

You deserved it

4822

Favorite

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49020

You deserved it

3987

Favorite

By holycrap - 3/3/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37688

You deserved it

2757

Favorite

By night_fox88 - 27/1/2020 05:00 - United States - Camden

Go out please!

Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2000

You deserved it

203

Favorite

By NotAModel - 30/4/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28127

You deserved it

3828

Favorite

By Roida - 26/10/2009 10:15 - Australia

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurrence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34678

You deserved it

2662

Favorite

By bbns - 14/1/2009 11:57 - Germany

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25249

You deserved it

2725

Favorite

By mybfpeedonme - 30/9/2017 16:00

Gross!

Today, a bug crawled inside my ear. In a panic, I called my boyfriend to come over and help me. His mother told him to put pee in my ear to kill the bug so it would just fall out. I ended up in the hospital because the pee made the bug want to claw its way out through my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3642

You deserved it

1510

Favorite

By resipsahipsta - 28/6/2009 17:42 - United States

Today, I finally cracked the password on my husband's email account. I don't know which is worse: finding out your husband is cheating on you with several people, or finding his password includes his ex-girlfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63025

You deserved it

24321

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/1/2012 18:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22531

You deserved it

11004

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/1/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49894

You deserved it

6980

Favorite

By I'maboutobarf - 31/1/2013 10:28 - Australia

Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40122

You deserved it

2767

Favorite

By Ferniferousfern - 2/3/2018 15:00

Today, I went to the dentist for a tooth extraction. Not only were they not able to extract all of it, but after 7 injections, I was still screaming. The best part? Their referral to someone else fell through, so I head back tomorrow to finish the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3805

You deserved it

223

Favorite

By Anonymous - 31/3/2013 05:10 - United States - Dalton

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43071

You deserved it

3216

Favorite

By forever alone - 12/5/2013 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20587

You deserved it

74199

Favorite

By Greymoya - 24/2/2010 14:18 - United States

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30488

You deserved it

2569

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/7/2012 15:46

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29526

You deserved it

3093

Favorite

By Jello - 26/2/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML

I agree, your life sucks

50730

You deserved it

5887

Favorite

By Username - 19/2/2011 07:57 - China

Today, while at a party, a cute topless woman sat next to me to flirt with the guy on the other end of the couch. This is the closest I've been to a pair of boobs in 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37286

You deserved it

6858

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/12/2013 07:24 - Canada - Milton

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58309

You deserved it

7960

Favorite

By ForeverAlone - 15/9/2011 21:46 - Canada

Today, I was at my cousin's house. We weren't spending time together because he was always texting. After a couple of minutes, I got jealous. I played a ringtone on my cell, and "answered" it. I had a whole conversation with nobody in an attempt to seem somewhat more popular than a 10-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12621

You deserved it

29048

Favorite

By thanksforallyoursupportmomanddad - 10/11/2015 20:46 - United States - Arlington

Today, I overheard my parents talking about my husband. Apparently, they think he's a nice guy and all, but they don't really see him as "husband material." They think I would have been better off with my ex, who doesn't have a job and hurt me both physically and mentally. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28934

You deserved it

1632

Favorite

By district12 - 18/2/2012 22:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29836

You deserved it

2882

Favorite

By awesome - 21/9/2010 04:49 - United States

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9304

You deserved it

81047

Favorite

By Miriam - 10/12/2016 08:44

Today, I attended a white elephant party at work and the box I picked had whisky and beer. Since I am a Muslim, I took it to my Christian friend's house and gave it to him. As I was walking there, I passed my imam on the street. Awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9651

You deserved it

1238

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/6/2019 06:00

Today, I had to get my picture taken for a volunteer badge at the hospital. My sister came home and told my parents that she had a horrible day at work. They showed her my picture to cheer her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1670

You deserved it

137

Favorite

By talkssuck - 30/3/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59322

You deserved it

18458

Favorite

By cumguzzler - 6/3/2009 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68424

You deserved it

11858

Favorite

By goodbyeGPA - 8/10/2018 17:30

Today, the first day of school, I went to the book store to purchase my textbooks. Not only did I wait for 30 minutes, but they didn’t even have my books in stock. I was advised to visit another campus 45 minutes away. They didn’t have it either. I have assignments due already. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2723

You deserved it

702

Favorite

By V - 23/7/2010 07:39 - United States

Today, I met the man of my dreams. Beautiful, smart, academic, charming, a true gentlemen, totally my type. I am at a bar voted "the best gay bar in the world". FML

I agree, your life sucks

30740

You deserved it

18067

Favorite

By cplaner - 4/2/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year old boy. 3 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33627

You deserved it

5176

Favorite

By I should have kept my mouth shut - 23/1/2013 01:35 - United States - Davis

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29700

You deserved it

4574

Favorite

By justdancebbyx3 - 6/6/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42837

You deserved it

2990

Favorite

By Anonymous - 11/8/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15897

You deserved it

44740

Favorite

By brokenhome - 25/1/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my apartment got robbed. My 'book-in-progress' should keep them company. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24744

You deserved it

2638

Favorite

By juliet - 6/4/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

132880

You deserved it

6268

Favorite

By caitplaysguitar - 9/2/2010 14:56 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet. And then fling it at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31140

You deserved it

6489

Favorite

By embarrassed girl - 7/6/2014 05:40 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. It was going well until I accidentally passed gas. To add to the embarrassment, he rated it. I only got a 4 out of 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42985

You deserved it

7767

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/9/2013 21:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50470

You deserved it

6046

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By InnocentLies | 0

#1945330 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:16

Wait, what if he meant it as a compliment..?
:p

By THEmuffinpan | 0

#1945332 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:16

I read that in kind of a, "You're prettier than he said" way.

COMMENTS

By kayiscoolllll | 6

#1945315 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:12

oops! :(

kellanlvr | 1

#1945389 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:23

what's the fml here?

Person000 | 0

#1945575 - Sunday 9 January 2011 10:12

no no no, I have done that before. he meant to say " he didn't nearly describe how pretty you" are or something like that. give him a break he is old.

TheRealFamilyGuy | 5

#1945774 - Sunday 9 January 2011 11:07

OP has a sandy vagina.

natirixoxo | 0

#2256829 - Monday 28 March 2011 22:23

lol just say "you aren't either"

dylansomething | 0

#3095627 - Friday 12 August 2011 20:37

old people can be brutaly honest.

By Sweetie2u | 1

#1945322 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:13

ouch

By InnocentLies | 0

#1945330 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:16

Wait, what if he meant it as a compliment..?
:p

FYLDeep | 25

#1945412 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:27

Why wouldn't he say, "You're way prettier" instead of "You're not nearly as pretty" then?

InnocentLies | 0

#1945433 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:35

Because he choose* to say it like that ?
Gah typo. ._.

jess6blondie9 | 2

#1945578 - Sunday 9 January 2011 10:12

I honestly doubt that he meant that as a compliment.

whippymcdumb4zs | 0

#1945727 - Sunday 9 January 2011 10:52

he might have a slight case of senility, causing what he wants to say and what he is saying to be completely different

By THEmuffinpan | 0

#1945332 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:16

I read that in kind of a, "You're prettier than he said" way.

starshine21 | 0

#1945395 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:24

i agree

dragonaair | 5

#1945441 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:36

Maybe he was saying it jokingly? Like, you cant be nearly as pretty as he described.

lBMTHl | 0

#1945558 - Sunday 9 January 2011 10:07

As did I. Where is the FML here?

dragonaair | 5

#1950711 - Monday 10 January 2011 12:39

Or maybe OP is bitching and the grandfather said afterwards "Because you're beautiful!"

By InnocentLies | 0

#1945347 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:17

Hehe you got ninja'd.
;)

By maybaybe | 0

#1945364 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:20

Gotta live the elderly :)

maybaybe | 0

#1945400 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:24

*love

unidentified_sta | 5

#1945415 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:30

Hm... Yeah the elderly need to live too. Keeps things alive by mockin' the youngins.

maybaybe | 0

#1945630 - Sunday 9 January 2011 10:30

haha xD

lexielovesyou | 0

#1947266 - Sunday 9 January 2011 21:15

ahaha agreeed. ^.^

By jazzy514 | 7

#1945422 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:32

he must be senile

By dragonaair | 5

#1945427 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:34

At least he won't perv on you. Unless he likes ugly chicks...

backdownbreh | 0

#1945471 - Sunday 9 January 2011 9:44

you be perfect then (:

Zya_fml | 8

#1945541 - Sunday 9 January 2011 10:04

haha, 17 win

jess6blondie9 | 2

#1945555 - Sunday 9 January 2011 10:06

Ouch! hahah.

maybaybe | 0

#1945745 - Sunday 9 January 2011 10:56

haha #17 harsh but funny.

Darkangelxx1234 | 0

#1946004 - Sunday 9 January 2011 12:47

Ahaha ! 17 = Winn (:

dragonaair | 5

#1952549 - Tuesday 11 January 2011 0:17

I must agree, that is pretty funny #17

feyz_fml | 4

#1961010 - Thursday 13 January 2011 7:41

it's funny because it's true

By perdix | 29

#1945528 - Sunday 9 January 2011 10:01

Consider the alternative: . . . took my hand and said, "Wow, you're much prettier than he described you" and guided it to his Viagra-engorged paleo-pole.

Would you have preferred that?

flybye | 0

#1945739 - Sunday 9 January 2011 10:56

Lol. There isn't a comment of yours that hasn't made me laugh or shake my head in total disdain. Bravo :P

Aerious | 0

#1946762 - Sunday 9 January 2011 18:14

OP would've gotten some action at least.

By ilpapagrande | 16

#1945829 - Sunday 9 January 2011 11:24

I guess what really matters here is your boyfriend's opinion, no matter how delusional and skewed it is.