is it legal to marry your dog?

I mean, it should be easy enough to get the marriage annulled, no?

Is your best friend’s name “Dave?” If it is, don’t worry. In ten years it’ll be a meme.

I mean if you like him drunk, maybe you can hit it sober. Did you like the wedding night-

Because no good story started with, "Hold my milk."

So how was your wedding night?

OP, you oughta be able to contest your marriage license since you obviously weren't sober when you signed the marriage license (a standard req't when signing a contract). Good luck on all fronts! But YDI....

Sounds almost exactly like that episode of Friends when Ross and Rachel got married in Vegas......

Polygamy is an option.

The next published FML will be by the fiancée, I can feel it...